Hi looking for a bit of advice about how to go about having a full and frank talk with my oh just about my feelings an worrys
Ive been with my oh 6 years an we have 2 boys anyway hes really my only real realtionship. We meet on a chat thing an were ldr for a year in the 1st year we never met just phone an texted
Anyway weve never really been big talkers do to with feeling etc when we have it tended to end up with one of us in a mood usually him. Anyway i want this to change i like us to be more open with eachother i feel he some what a closed book at times an tends to keep things to himself as when hes opened up with other partners in the past its not gone well. I myself dont find it easy to open up but would like to
So any advice about how to go about this would be good thanks
I would try the softly softly approach..start small and don't launch into a big emotional outpouring. Maybe tell him one little thought or feeling a day, even if it's something insignificant. This way he might not almost realise what you're doing, you'll just condition the relationship over time to become more and more open.xx
I would try the softly softly approach..start small and don't launch into a big emotional outpouring. Maybe tell him one little thought or feeling a day, even if it's something insignificant. This way he might not almost realise what you're doing, you'll just condition the relationship over time to become more and more open.xx
I couldn't agree more with this.
One other thought though - do you think it could be that he's not opening up to you because he thinks you don't want him to? You mention that in six years you've never really discussed your feelings - could he think that you're not interested? (It sounds unlikely, but never underestimate how thick us blokes can be!)
When we first got together there was things he wanted to tell me but didnt feel ready to as we hadnt been together very long so i didnt push the issue but 6 years on he the same never tells me how he feels or anything
When i can see that there may be something bothering him i do try to ask an talk but he alway says im ok or its nothing it doesnt matter
I have the same sort of issue with my partner yummy, my partner has never really been very talkative when it comes to her feelings, I have found she will chat sometimes, but I think it is just how the person has managed to get through life.
So things havent improved an i have now found hes made a profile on fab swingers sayings he bi curious an wants to meet people how do i go about talking to him about this?
I dont want to embrasses him as he obviously is if he couldnt tell me so i want to try an be gentle hes knows i have been bi curious in the past so any advice would be very appericated
Write him a letter, Explain your feelings worries and anxieties. In the letter. Explain how you see his life and ask him to explain things better to you.
Hand him the letter Tell him you dont expect a reply but could he just read it and consider it carefully when he has a chance.
So things havent improved an i have now found hes made a profile on fab swingers sayings he bi curious an wants to meet people how do i go about talking to him about this?
I dont want to embrasses him as he obviously is if he couldnt tell me so i want to try an be gentle hes knows i have been bi curious in the past so any advice would be very appericated
Hi YM91, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. You're reaction to finding him on fab is amazing. Most people would have gone mad. I'm also on fab and my partners dosen't know, I too am bi curious which is why i'm on there. I have tried to talk to my partner about it but he's really oldfashioned. You sound as if you'd be really open and understanding so perhaps you could tell him that you know he's on there and you will support him (assuming you are of course) I would love it if my partner was on there with me and we could have some fun together. I do hope things get better for you x
So things havent improved an i have now found hes made a profile on fab swingers sayings he bi curious an wants to meet people how do i go about talking to him about this?
I dont want to embrasses him as he obviously is if he couldnt tell me so i want to try an be gentle hes knows i have been bi curious in the past so any advice would be very appericated
YM91
I maybe overly traditional but when your partner advertises to meet people you are entitled to confront him and challenge what he thinks about you and his relationship with you, it takes 2 to tango and there are 2 people in a relationship.
2nd chance t yes i do try an be understanding with him its not always easy i know he has a hard time telling me thing
Well i obviously had to make a fab account to find him i obv didnt use my name so he would now its was me anyway he messaged me on it not knowing it was me so that this point i was like yeah ive gotta tell him i was out at the time so i texted him i knew about fab which has resulted in arguement both to do with the profile but ive git everything off my chest now i dont know if we can make us work but we are going to try
* both to do with profile an other things mainly me been down an moody which i think be down to me stopping my anti depressant for mt pnd
I dont know that this point if we have future but we are giving it a go only time will tell i do hope so tho as i only have him an my boys here although i know most of his family would great with me Im rather alone down here
Hi YM, I was in the exact same situation with my OH neither of us knew how to talk to each other about how we really felt, we've been together 13 years and have children, we finally became more at ease just last week!! We started talking by txt, he also persuaded me to join this site which has made its lot easier to talk - not just sexual but other feelings too, we find that if either of us have a concern then we just chat over txt, then make up face to face x-x-x
to start with Miss.