I keep seeing threads about preferences for things which aren't exactly in our partner's control like penis size, circumcised or not, natural lubrication in women or bottled, and so on. The women's weight ones have gone dormant, fortunately.
The thing is, even if the intention is to build up people's self esteem there's always going to be someone who doesn't fit with the majority of stated preferences. And there will always be a few who aren't as careful as they could be with the way they word things.
Comparisons will leave someone out. Isn't it more helpful to celebrate diversity than play this or that games, especially on things we can't change?
Thing is rosehip, to some people these things are important. Not everyone holds the same values or us at the same point in their life. I suspect if you look at the OP of those threads, it's only a couple of different people. The nature of open Internet chats is that anyone can post any opinion, which in a world of free speech is eutopia.
What any one of us possess though is choice. We can choose whether to open that thread and read it. There are many threads, especially in the past couple of weeks where I've thought 'I really don't care' and my life is probably richer for not opening those threads.
It is also important to remember that just because a person chooses option A it doesnt devalue option B or option C.
In a wide world like ours, we should be thankful that we have option A, B and C and even more thankful that there will always be someone that prefers each option over the others, this is what makes us all unique and different.
It is also important to remember that just because a person chooses option A it doesnt devalue option B or option C.
In a wide world like ours, we should be thankful that we have option A, B and C and even more thankful that there will always be someone that prefers each option over the others, this is what makes us all unique and different.
It makes me so sad that people have to compare themselves to others. Don't get me wrong, I do it myself, I look at people and think "oh they're so pretty" or "oh they're so skinny!"
But now, I've decided that all I care about is what my husband thinks of me, appearance else. And he's assured me he thinks I'm beautiful in every way, and that's all that matters to me. It's hard sometimes not to compare yourself to others, but I'm trying and it's getting easier.
It is always a good idea to celebrate diversity but if I am asked if I prefer apples or oranges then I would be inclined to answer the question honestly. I have nothing against oranges, but personally I prefer apples.
Preferring one thing does not mean you dislike another.
Let me try this again since I appear to have failed rather thoroughly this first time in conveying my thoughts.
I'm talking about the number of threads going about recently which are set up in opposites, A or B, rather than something more open-ended. The format creates an artificial opposition which serves no real purpose (that I can see at least) and doesn't need to be there. And yes, we all need to take responsibiltiy for our emotional responses, recognise that the words are just other people on the internet, and all of that. But we can also take care of each other.
One thing I've noticed is that people post less when they're going against the tide of an opinion thread. The widest variety of opinion will be present in the forum, but not necessarily in that thread. That thread is what people are engaged with though and reading in terms of everything else going on in their heads. (And this thread shows how easy it is for people to misunderstand intent. I thought the idea was pretty straight forward and I spent quite a while with the wording. It still wasn't enough.)
All I'm suggesting is that we pay a bit more attention to how we word things, especially at the start of a thread, to make the whole forum as comfortable a place for everyone as we can.
Wonder perhaps if sometimes we are looking not for the differences, but some reassurance, in other peoples responses, that we're not that different; that size, appearance, performance, style and taste criteria are not as highly regarded, particularly in such good forum groups as this one. These threads, and comparitive questions would hardly be answered with such sensible and open responses if asked in most other settings. I quite like them myself, as I now realise my own self perceived shortcomings are not worth the space in my thoughts. Just sayin.
I've noticed these popping up for a while - I've only been posting for maybe a month or two but I used to read the forums, just not post on here, well before that and some of them are kind of badly worded or the questions aren't well presented?
I've started posting more in threads where I don't necessarily agree with the most prevalent opinion but I don't even want to go near some of them, the weight perception one I thought was a potential bomb waiting to go off and the pubic hair vs. removed pubic hair threads I don't bother opening because I don't fancy seeing pages of 'ewwwww, hair'.
I don't know. I agree with rose hip. This vs. That, set up like that, doesn't really help anyone in the long run.