It's difficult to go through everything, but here's a quick overview.
I'd like to say I'm high up on the scale of what a woman would want, not perfect, but I strive to be as best a man can be.
Physically fit, and look after muscles and appearance
DIY round the house, almost renovated the whole house for her (and me)
Financially, she gets what's she wants, and I've just spent a lot of money on a new car for doing stuff with her horses (towing etc)
I put 100% into intimacy :- a touch as our paths cross, a kiss, a hug.
Spoon in bed, or a massage with no request for it to go further.
Running a scented bath, with candles and a glass of wine when she gets in from work.
I cook 99% of our meals, and often do candle lit dinners
Holidays, supporting her with horses, and encouraging her to go out with friends
Housework, and chores
Flowers, chocolate, comfy pj's, jewellery.
There's not a min of the day where I don't put her 1st.
And I believe there lies the problem.
She's got used to it and doesn't know how to give back?
Paradox:- (kind of) - I say, please talk about sex, your fantasies, and tell me what you want more. Touch me occasionally, or initiate sex, you suggest something new sexually, or you put effort into our intamacy for a change.
She does, (for a short duration, before things go back to normal) but then she's doing it to please me, not because SHE wants to.
She's admitted she's a lazy lover - her words, but that's a get out of jail free card.
If she knows all of this, she should be doing stuff to keep our relationship alive, but she doesn't unless I pressure her, then it's one sided and shallow, because I don't want to pressure her, and I know she's only doing it because I've asked?
Apparently I'm the best husband ever! She says it, her friends say it, her family says it.
Hence Mr Good Guy!
But nice guys finish last don't they?
I've read the previous pists/replies and took heed of some interesting points, to which i agree.
But rowing a metaphorical boat with one oar usually means me going round in circles!
I love my wife beyond comprehension, and I don't want her not to be in my life, but can't deny divorce hovers in the back of my head occasionally.
If I were to mention this, no doubt she'd say she'll change, but again it'd be short lived, and threats don't give stability to her new actions being ones she's chosen to do rather than being forced.
I know she loves me unconditionally, but marriage without communication is like a boat without water.
Talking to a 3rd party is also a no no for her, she can't even talk to me.
Sticking your head in the sand is definitely an easier option.
But anger and frustration inside isn't healthy, and I often find myself secretly punishing her by not doing housework for example, as I think why shud I, she doesn't do anything to please me?
Trust me I've read books, watched videos and done research to help her with being more communative and to enjoy intamacy more, but she's got to want to do it, not me
And at the moment I don't feel she's in that place right now, or in the foreseeable future