Hey, the missus and i are wanting to try a 3 some with another girl, we have set the rules, talked about it loads but have come unstuck with one thing - where do you find the third person??
Any tips advice would be appreciated thanks
Hey Sexbrain
Try registering with fabswingers - good luck xx
Type threesome into search bar. Been a popular question for years.
sexbrain247 wrote:
Hey, the missus and i are wanting to try a 3 some with another girl, we have set the rules, talked about it loads but have come unstuck with one thing - where do you find the third person??
Any tips advice would be appreciated thanks
A couple of things to consider
1 Don't let this be all about your fantasy, the 3rd person has to have something in it for them, and you've set the rules, make sure those you are looking for, do know them. And looking at it from the 3rd persons POV, is it still a good deal for them?
2 the fact your after a female, who are unicorns in this world, means that your profile will need to be really appealing to just get noticed, let alone followed up.
The truth is if a single women wanted this, in many cases she could find a couple to indulge more easily than the couple looking for the single woman. It is a numbers game, but personality helps as does being a decent human...
Tiger Dick wrote:
sexbrain247 wrote:
Hey, the missus and i are wanting to try a 3 some with another girl, we have set the rules, talked about it loads but have come unstuck with one thing - where do you find the third person??
Any tips advice would be appreciated thanks
A couple of things to consider
1 Don't let this be all about your fantasy, the 3rd person has to have something in it for them, and you've set the rules, make sure those you are looking for, do know them. And looking at it from the 3rd persons POV, is it still a good deal for them?
2 the fact your after a female, who are unicorns in this world, means that your profile will need to be really appealing to just get noticed, let alone followed up.
The truth is if a single women wanted this, in many cases she could find a couple to indulge more easily than the couple looking for the single woman. It is a numbers game, but personality helps as does being a decent human...
Hey Tiger
I like your style,my love! Great advice!
Folks,
Thanks for your time replying.....great stuff and advice. Much appreciated
Finding another girl for a threesome is fairly hard if you don't already have someone in mind. Much easier to get another guy. Me and OH are registered on Fabswingers and we've got guys queuing up wanting to have sex (and more!!!) with her!
LadySpider wrote:
Tiger Dick wrote:
sexbrain247 wrote:
Hey, the missus and i are wanting to try a 3 some with another girl, we have set the rules, talked about it loads but have come unstuck with one thing - where do you find the third person??
Any tips advice would be appreciated thanks
A couple of things to consider
1 Don't let this be all about your fantasy, the 3rd person has to have something in it for them, and you've set the rules, make sure those you are looking for, do know them. And looking at it from the 3rd persons POV, is it still a good deal for them?
2 the fact your after a female, who are unicorns in this world, means that your profile will need to be really appealing to just get noticed, let alone followed up.
The truth is if a single women wanted this, in many cases she could find a couple to indulge more easily than the couple looking for the single woman. It is a numbers game, but personality helps as does being a decent human...
Hey Tiger
I like your style,my love! Great advice!
And you too Lady Spider, its who I am I'm pleased to say...
We've not quite done a threesome, more couple to couple is our thing tbh, I am totally at ease with that but the same principles apply. The only mitigating factor is a single woman can be vulnerable in this situation, alone and this will need additional consideration for their welfare...
Organising an FMF must be about the most difficult thing to do in the swinging world. It's only happened to us a couple of times in our 13 years in the lifestyle, no wonder that 'extra woman' is known as a unicorn.
We'd advise a few things:
First, don't confine yourself to a 3some. 4somes of the MFMF variety are much easier to arrange. Most of our 3somes have been in a 4some context, with one person not playing but just observing.
Secondly. go to a swinger club for your first experience. There are plenty around, and you'll be welcome to simply watch others at play and see what the scene is all about. When and if you want to join in, then either get chatting to another couple in the bar and take it from there, or just go into a busy crowded playroom and see what happens; there's often interaction which leads on to group play. Even in a club, you'll be lucky to find a unicorn willing to join you.
Thirdly, don't, whatever you do, invite a vanilla friend to join you for sex. Not unless you want to run the risk of losing the friend and having your hobby revealed to all her / his friends and acquaintances!
Finally, Fabswingers, Social Swinging, Swapscene and the like are fine, but be prepared to write a good detailed profile, to include some appealing and revealing pictures and then be prepared to put up with all the time-wasters, single men pretending to be couples or women and picture collectors who inhabit these sites - probably the majority of such site users, sadly. There are 'real' people there and we've had some good meets that way, but be ready to face disappointments and last minute drop-outs.
It takes effort, but we think it's worth it.
I have been approached by couples in the past and here are things that scare me off joining couples in this scenerio:
1. Jealousy / sensing the woman is insecure and not 100 percent into me joining is the biggest reason I run away fast.
2. No sense of ground rules / an idea how what they are into and want to explore. It is ok if you are only seeking a certain level of contact it is not ok not to know or try to change the rules mid session.
3. Being treated as an "extra" in their play session, I am not there to be a sex toy to only get you off I want to be fulfilled as well.
4. people who do not accept that there needs to be mutual attraction if I am not attracted to both of you it will not happen.
5. Understanding who you are approaching and their sexual orientation. I am pretty much straight so if you are looking for a bisexual or lesbian woman be clear and understand the difference.
Is this just to fulfill a one-off fantasy? Is your OH experienced with a girl?
My OH and I have discussed this matter and finding the extra person was always going to be hardest part and because of my worries I am unsure I would be able to make things good for the other person.
The OH had what I think is a very sensible suggestion for others in this position. Hire someone. An escort is not terribly expensive we found, you can choose exactly the sort of person you would like and you can tailor the experience. You don't have to worry so much about their satisfaction and they would probably be very understainding if you explained things.
Something to consider maybe? If I ever do have an experience I think this is likely the route we will use to begin with.
Lucky man! I would so love to try a 3some, a FMF, my Misses is Bi and has slept with women before we got together and her best mate is one of her Ex's so you'd think I'd be on to a winner but she is the one that is firmly against it, she sees the fact that if either one of us slept with the 3rd person, who ever it was and whilst the other is watching it's just plain cheating and she wouldn't be able deal with the guilt or jealousy, I even got in the dog house for a few days for even entertaining the idea! I respect her feelings and can see where she is coming from. If you both are very happy with watching your partner with someone else and know you can deal with it then have fun but make sure it is something thats for you both and not just a fantasy!
Peakcouple wrote:
Organising an FMF must be about the most difficult thing to do in the swinging world. It's only happened to us a couple of times in our 13 years in the lifestyle, no wonder that 'extra woman' is known as a unicorn.
We'd advise a few things:
First, don't confine yourself to a 3some. 4somes of the MFMF variety are much easier to arrange. Most of our 3somes have been in a 4some context, with one person not playing but just observing.
Secondly. go to a swinger club for your first experience. There are plenty around, and you'll be welcome to simply watch others at play and see what the scene is all about. When and if you want to join in, then either get chatting to another couple in the bar and take it from there, or just go into a busy crowded playroom and see what happens; there's often interaction which leads on to group play. Even in a club, you'll be lucky to find a unicorn willing to join you.
Thirdly, don't, whatever you do, invite a vanilla friend to join you for sex. Not unless you want to run the risk of losing the friend and having your hobby revealed to all her / his friends and acquaintances!
Finally, Fabswingers, Social Swinging, Swapscene and the like are fine, but be prepared to write a good detailed profile, to include some appealing and revealing pictures and then be prepared to put up with all the time-wasters, single men pretending to be couples or women and picture collectors who inhabit these sites - probably the majority of such site users, sadly. There are 'real' people there and we've had some good meets that way, but be ready to face disappointments and last minute drop-outs.
It takes effort, but we think it's worth it.
Totally agree with this, nothing to add particularly the advice about the swinging contact issues, as time goes on you do develop a sense for the wasters, but I'm not experienced enough to say I've got this licked. Many with years of experienced still get the hassle described from time to time.
Hi
I have been spare girl, unicorn, etc whatever you want to call it and me and my fuck bud have had girls join us for threesomes so I feel like I might offer a bit of insight.
As a unicorn, we are bombarded with messages on places like fab. Here's advice from me on how to stand out imo:
1) she's a person not a play toy, even if she's aiding in your fantasy always treat her with respect
2) read her damn profile. I like things others don't and vice versa. Her profile will give you an indication of what she wants. Can you as a couple meet her expectations? If so make sure she knows that. "Hia, my name is X. I can see in your profile you want Y which me and *partners name* could help you with. We'd love to get to know you better and can send face pictures (or have already attached these). - insert none seedy compliment- bye *couple name*" is a good message format imo
3) get verified. Get photo verification on this site or you'll look fake. If you know anyone on fab ask them to meet verify you
4) stand out. Why are you special? What makes you different from every other male/female, straight and bicurious vanilla couple out there. Massive toy box? Into bdsm? Choice of sexy outfits? Pansexual? Find your selling point and don't make stuff up
5) be honest. If you're nervous say so. If you've got boundaries make them clear. The last thing a unicorn wants is to be witness to some couples arguments. Be there and it's soo awkward
6) off to group message. WhatsApp is good for this if you are happy to share phone numbers. Kik is good if not. I like knowing both Mr and Mrs know my limits
7) prepare for disappointment. People flake out at every stage. Not replying to messages, stopping replying on the day, not showing etc. Expect it.
8) if the day comes that you have a unicorn round your house, relax. She's probably nervous herself. There's no official way to get things started from social to sexy but in the past I've had a few drinks first, played strip/dare card games, etc. Whatever feels natural. Background music is nice though
If you've any questions just shoot
MondaySixteenth wrote:
Hi
I have been spare girl, unicorn, etc whatever you want to call it and me and my fuck bud have had girls join us for threesomes so I feel like I might offer a bit of insight.
As a unicorn, we are bombarded with messages on places like fab. Here's advice from me on how to stand out imo:
1) she's a person not a play toy, even if she's aiding in your fantasy always treat her with respect
2) read her damn profile. I like things others don't and vice versa. Her profile will give you an indication of what she wants. Can you as a couple meet her expectations? If so make sure she knows that. "Hia, my name is X. I can see in your profile you want Y which me and *partners name* could help you with. We'd love to get to know you better and can send face pictures (or have already attached these). - insert none seedy compliment- bye *couple name*" is a good message format imo
3) get verified. Get photo verification on this site or you'll look fake. If you know anyone on fab ask them to meet verify you
4) stand out. Why are you special? What makes you different from every other male/female, straight and bicurious vanilla couple out there. Massive toy box? Into bdsm? Choice of sexy outfits? Pansexual? Find your selling point and don't make stuff up
5) be honest. If you're nervous say so. If you've got boundaries make them clear. The last thing a unicorn wants is to be witness to some couples arguments. Be there and it's soo awkward
6) off to group message. WhatsApp is good for this if you are happy to share phone numbers. Kik is good if not. I like knowing both Mr and Mrs know my limits
7) prepare for disappointment. People flake out at every stage. Not replying to messages, stopping replying on the day, not showing etc. Expect it.
8) if the day comes that you have a unicorn round your house, relax. She's probably nervous herself. There's no official way to get things started from social to sexy but in the past I've had a few drinks first, played strip/dare card games, etc. Whatever feels natural. Background music is nice thoughIf you've any questions just shoot
Another great post. Point two about reading profile is a good one, but boy oh boy, are some profiles vague or what!
Some are just one sentence, that's some pitch to make yourself stand out...lol
Hmmm.... it’s bad enough to see the look of disappointment on one woman’s face let alone two!
I’ll pass.
If you are having trouble finding a unicorn, you can always try an escort as it's a much easier route for a first time threesome, that is how we started.