Just seen loads of posts on facebook and twitter, and news articles from the daily mail saying that people are protesting against 50 shades of Grey saying that it is 'glorified rape' and promoting domestic violence?
In my opinion the people making these claims are making themselves sound like uneducated, narrow minded people!! How can someone compare bondage to rape when it is consensual?
What are your views?
Yea, I saw similer things on the subject too. I do not agree in the slightest.
My views are that anyone who likes the book will die for the book, so having an actual conversation about it is impossible. But it really is an abusive relationship, not BDSM that is in the book, you don't need an education to work it out.
I agree that in the relashionship side of thing in the book dose come across as quite controling. But I guess its down to the opinon of the reader really.
To be honest im not a 50 shades of grey fanatic... but i dont agree the claims that Christian grey is a rapist and it is glorified rape... she is consenting to it.
CVR92 wrote:
To be honest im not a 50 shades of grey fanatic... but i dont agree the claims that Christian grey is a rapist and it is glorified rape... she is consenting to it.
I agree. I do not belive in any way that he is a rapist.
I hate the insinuation that anyone into BDSM must have had a messed up childhood. I think it gives a very bad depiction of the whole thing- what about the huge amount of trust and the intimate connection it requires between two people?
Saying that, I think you'll be hard pushed to find anyone on here that agrees with it- seems to be pretty uneducated people that do!
One quote image thing, one of the ones going around on facebook, basically has her telling him to stop, then him telling her not to overthink it... now granted, it might be out of context, but in a court of law, with the recent changes to rape laws, I can't see him getting off all that easy.
But all this aside, there is a huge rape hysteria right now anyway, which is probably the real problem. I don't know so much about him being a rapist or not, because it's a recent thing for him to be accused of by the looks of it, but he definetly is abusive.
There is an actual honest-to-[insert deity here] rape scene in the book. There's a read through of that chapter here: http://pervocracy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/lets-read-fifty-shades-of-grey-chapter.html
To be honest, the things that make me consider their relationship abusive have very little to do with the BDSM in the book. It's things like him pitching a fit when she says she's going to visit her mother, and like the stalking, that make me look at this relationship and say 'abusive' while I look at my own kinky relationships and recognise that they are not.
BDSM= super great.
The relationship in 50Shades? Decidedly not.
There are a bazillion very well constructed articles and blog posts out there, a bunch of them from us lot, who have both read the books, and actively participate in bondage and a BDSM lifestyle.
The book- and the film, from choice reviews- is bordering on horrific in that such abuse has got so much coverage with very little acknowledgement that there is anything wrong.
Find this fascinating, when the books were first released, people criticised the content, yet did so without even flipping through the pages. How can one make fair and impartial comments without experiencing it first. These are the same kind of people who hear comments like this and jump on the band wagon without any sound knowledge - infuriating
It's patriarchial misogyny, women are publically accepting a form of pornography and it is scaring a lot of men.
Parts of the film/book might be iffy, who cares? Plenty of media show abusive relationships and rape is definitely implied. It has been romanticised and normalised in plenty of films too, no one kicked up a fuss about the movie 'beastly' and the guy held her hostage while trying to buy her with gifts...
naughty stacey wrote:
It's patriarchial misogyny, women are publically accepting a form of pornography and it is scaring a lot of men.
I don't think you can blame men for this one. Pretty much everything I've seen protesting against or complaining about the movie has come from female activists or correspondents. And I say that both as someone with no vested interest in the book either way and as a man who, like most men I suspect, is delighted with pornography becoming more widely accepted.
The movie/book might be a liberating step towards sexual equality, or it might be a rape instruction manual for all I know but I think it's unfair to say men are making that call.
They`re sad attention seekers,they weren`t standing ootside book shops protesting when the books were out were they? I`m guessing a LOT more read the books than will visit the cinema to see it.Also it`s not the on first mainstream film to feature BDSM,where were they then?
I personally feel that the books don't do the bdsm lifestyle any justice and Mr Grey comes across as verging on sociopathic but I don't feel it glorifies rape, a bit OTT if you ask me.
What's the point in protesting to boycott, if they don't like it, simply don't go and watch it
I've had this conversation with a few people & they all think I'm deluded for liking 50 shades & that I want to be abused as I try different things with my botfriend. The thing is these people have never read the book, practiced BDSM or have any understanding of limits/rules. What bothers me is feminists making a deal of it, women can choose to lose control to their partner. There's no way I'd say Grey is a rapist, that's way out of context, it's no domestic abuse in the film all you see is a soft spank with his hand, I get why people don't understand why it seems to be acceptable in the bedroom but not anywhere else.
I'll be gladly going to see the film again as people are blowing this way out of proportion! It's EROTIC FICTION, it's fiction, it's an escape for people, a pleasure, it's opened doors for peoples sex lives. Let people have fun & enjoy themselves!
BDSM is different for everyone.
Tbh who's to say the book is wrong, it's the direction that particular relationship took.
As for it glamourising domestic violence, it's a disgusting comment to come out with, they are two completely different things and should never be categoried together... More media crap imo.
With all this rape hysteria and "rape culture" nonsense that is in the media at the moment it's not a surprise that there is so much protesting going on with the film and claiming that it is domestic violence.
Personally I've made no effort to hide my distaste of the book for its poor writing and James' complete lack of understanding of the subject as is displayed through Greys actions but is he a rapist? No. And saying he is or claiming that the book promotes domestic abuse only does a disservice to real victims of it.
One person abbuse maybe another persons pleasure, as long as concent is given, its not abbuse, in the book she gives consent, and could stop anything, at anytime.
For example in the book she said she didn't like canes, in the next scene they had disappeared from the room, this shows he's working to her limits, even though he may have issues, which they deal with.
I think yet again this is the pc brigade, with boring lives, and boring sex lives.
naughty stacey wrote:
It's patriarchial misogyny, women are publically accepting a form of pornography and it is scaring a lot of men.
Parts of the film/book might be iffy, who cares? Plenty of media show abusive relationships and rape is definitely implied. It has been romanticised and normalised in plenty of films too, no one kicked up a fuss about the movie 'beastly' and the guy held her hostage while trying to buy her with gifts...
The problem with 50 Shades is it isn't supposed to be rape. Other movies which have abuse/rape etc portray it as such and there's no mixed messages. 50 Shades is presented as a female fantasy but he's controlling, a stalker and completely takes advantage of her naviety to force her into a relationship she doesn't want. That's why people object so strongly-it portrays BDSM incorrectly and it presents this relationship as something desirable and sexy when in reality, it's deeply unhealthy and makes the main character very unhappy