Friday13, have you tried hipnotherapy? I don't know if it would work for you, but it is possible to implant a limit. For example once you have had 5 pints you don't want any more alcohol, and you actually really don't want it.
I have seen smokers of 40 years who have tried and failed to give up smoking for years, give up cold turkey the day after hypnotherapy and not go back.
It might be worth considering. Obviously talk to the hypontherapist first in detail as to what your problems are, perhaps stating that control is your issue.
It worked for me to get over anxiety before exams. I know this is different, but I would be so worried about failing that I would vomit before each and every exam, and over my GCSE exams my hair fell out and I got major eczema. The hypnotherapy fixed this for me. I have also had a session to create a mental "safe place". It's a management strategy to help you to control your frame of mind, and it works well for me.
Of course it might not be right for you, but it could be worth looking into it.
Friday, it's a pleasure hunni. How's things going for you and are your friends doing well in sober 4 October? It's funny I rarely drank anyway once every month or two but now I've quit )in support of hubby as he cannot drink because of his illness)I'm actually get more cravings. I guess it's always like that when you know you can't have something you want it more.
I love your financial reward plan and am glad sober October inspired you to go for it. How's it going have you saved anything yet for lovely goodies š
Oh my gawd well I was doing immense down to 3 a day but I've had a relapse (I'm blaming the stress of everything we have going on) sometimes I've smoked 10 maybe more a day š£ however I've started vaping again as if the last ten hours and have only smoked 5 which is decent. I'm very tempted to make a roll up riht now though š I'll vape heavily for awhile and see if I can prolong making oneššxx
Much love, hugs and support for everybody who are struggling with addiction. šxx
Hi everyone just read few posts, I cannot drink at all now, one is too many 100 not enough but I'm happy I don't want a drink luckily I'm not one for nights out in pubs, meals yes but not karaoke my pet hate, hugs to everyone.
Fun Louise: I've not tried hypnotherapy. I'll look into it.
Slinky binky: I definitely understand the cravings increasing the moment you deny yourself. I hope they fade soon. Keep going with trying to reduce the cigarettes. You are doing really well. Slip ups and backslides are normal. Don't let those make you forget all the good days you've had. I'm also trying to reduce smoking. I find delaying going out for one really helps. Some days I've managed under 5. Weekends and drinking days are much higher.
Kittencub: I hear ya...
I'm still drinking excessively. It's not that I do it every day but I blackout and am a nuisance to friends when I do. This week I haven't drunk during the week at all and I'm with family this weekend so it will only be up to about a bottle of wine with food, maximum. I've not implemented my financial reward plan because I wasn't organised enough. I might try it again soon but with a dedicated notebook to record things.
Kitten club that's brilliant you not wanting to drink now well done hunni ššxx
For a few years after quitting alcohol I was a nightmare, really couldn't stand the small or taste of any drink. I ended up banning friends from drinking here lol (we had a great social life back then.) I was a nightmare thinking about it. I remember when friends came round after they'd had a drink and we'd be chatting but the shells so strong it'd be bugging me something chronic! Obviously I kept that to myself.
Friday. That's a great idea smoking outside. When I lived with my maw rain, hail, sleet or snow I'd have to go outside for a smoke so I barely smoked when home. But like you as soon as it was going out time I'd smoke like a chimney. Booze + smoking seems to fit like a glove. I wonder where that saying comes from as most gloves don't fit lol.
Your advice is brilliant and spot on, you should read it back for yourself. So true slip ups always happen its not allowing ourselves to be put off into the 'i can't do it' frame of mind that's important.
Keep up the good work and remember combating too many habits at once can be tricky. Like with cutting back both alcohol and smoking I expect is blooming hard. I've never tried quitting smoking before well not really tried.
You're going awesome hunni ššxx
So I'm vaping loads atm infact at this moment I actually feel extremely sick because I over- vaped. Thinking cutting the nicotine amount would allow me to cape until my heart's content? So I shall but some different milligrams re-fills.
Smoked 6 yesterday which is decent after going up significantly. We'll see what today brings but I've had one and a half since 6am (that's my 'new day' time,) which isn't so good š anyways I'm certain it'll not be too bad come the end of the day as during periods like morning and after food is the times I feel 'i need a smoke'.
I thought Iād post here because Iām afraid of a relapse. I know I probably wonāt but I feel afraid as Iād been putting all my focus into caring/studying for the past five years. Living with progressive, and terminal, illness in my family felt like a constant hamster wheel. After bereavements that wheel has stopped and I feel so incredibly lost.
Distracting myself is equally helpful and guilt-inducing. Sometimes I have moments of joy, and feel good because my loved ones would like me to move on with my life. But then I feel bad that Iām not actively trying to remember the people Iāve lost.
Previously Iād think Iāll get through this because I have people depending on me. But now I actually donāt have those people around any more.
The fact that you are aware of how you are feeling is a positive @_nin
You have been through some difficult times. 5 years is a long time to be running on a treadmill for it to suddenly stop.
Donāt feel guilty for doing things you enjoy. You need to live and enjoy life. It doesnāt mean that you have forgotten anyone. They will always be there in your mind.
You are doing amazingā¦the first steps in your next chapter of life are always the most difficult especially now you feel that no-one is depending on you when you have been that person for so long.
Keep movingā¦ youāre doing just great. Small steps and youāll get there. Itās great that youāve put it into words and shared it.
Itās totally normal not to constantly remember people youāve lost, time heals the emotional wounds, but the scars will always be there. Often it will be a song, a smell etc that will randomly bring them back into your thoughts. If they could talk to you, theyād tell you that would be enough.
We never forget our lost loved ones, but they wouldnāt want you to worry about not thinking about them constantly.
Just try to live your life doing little things that make you happy.
Thereās always someone here if you need help or support.
Iām in recovery myself, 3 years and 3 months to the day strangely enough, for me recreational drugs (skunk was my main poison of choice), and alcohol.
Itās Christmas/New Year/January is always a tough time of the year for me, alcohol everywhere you look and then dry January posts etc.,
@_nin sorry to read your post, it sounds like a difficult time, and lots of conflict going on for you such as guilt of moving on and being what loved ones would want. As others have mentioned, fact you are aware of it, and saying something is big in itself.
There is plenty of support in these forums, and grieving/healing/dealing with loss takes time.
Personally, for me, fellowships (AA and NA) are important for me. It allows me to spend time and talk with like minded people, I have made good friends and feel less isolated - my addiction wants me to isolate, to depend on my head, and I know that leads to drink and drugs.
Not sure if it is an option for you, but maybe counselling might help also, to explore some of the feelings and conflicts in a safe place without fear of judgement. You need to be kind to yourself and you have been there for everyone. That is no mean feat, and you need to be there for you now.
Youāll get through this, because you have you depending on you. Give yourself time, care, and love - itās hard to see it now but you will grow through this!
So brave to acknowledge you need help, itās the first step in recovery.
I have a very addictive personality.
I smoked for 20 years, and I found it incredibly hard to quit, my biggest addiction is food, I have buliema, Iāve had since my teens, itās probably my hardest addiction. Even small things like work, as I earn per minute in work, I am always pushing for more, and even when exhausted I canāt stop, recognising your triggers are always helpful, and I have found counselling invaluable, Yiuve made the first step already. Xx
Many many many yearās ago, did I mention many? I used to smoke. I was one of those smokers that would stop for long periods then start again. What eventually got me to stop was a longing to run the London marathon, I joined a running club and chose a charity that I would raise money for. I put a small poster on my wall with a picture of the people who I would be raising money for. Every time I wanted a cigarette or did not want to go for a training run I would look at the poster, this reminded me-My mind-Why I was going to do that run. I set myself a goal and it helped stopping immensely, it worked I succeeded.
Running a Marathon may not be to everyoneās taste, the point is setting a goal a target, something to achieve that you can reward yourself with. Having something to aim for when quitting a habit does deter the mind from constantly thinking about what that habit is, eventually you will change that thought process to a less āI must have, I needā Thought process. Weather you take up running, cycling, long walks, painting, teaching your mind an alternative is the key to success on quitting. By no means is it as easy as I have appeared to make it sound, but being determined and sticking to a routine helps. @_nin
You are not alone with those thoughts.
A short while back I lost the one person who loved me unconditionally in the true sense. The one person who would have done anything for me, the one person who I have ever really loved.
Everyday is a struggle and coming to terms with such a loss is a mountainous climb. The one thing that keeps coming to mind, if I feel sad or an unhappy then she does too as she would not want to see me unhappy.
You will never forget those you have lost, moving on is not forgetting them. Guilty feelings is a part of grieving, you are still grieving it will take time. Most of all you will move forward albeit in a slightly different way to which you knew it.
Hi @daddyslilnympho69, I hope you are OK?
Plenty of people about, personally always happy to offer my experience in recovery to anyone that might find it useful, and know thereās plenty of others on the forum also always happy to lend an ear.
Honestly Iām getting addicted from everything thatās make me feel goodā¦. Not sure if thatās just my character or the way my brain works.
If I ride bikes I always push more get used to speed and adrenalineā¦ need more
ā¦
Every aspect in my life is like that
In way it bring me great things memories and experience as Iām always pursuing for moreā¦
Other side of that coin is nevertheless pursuing for feeling high not high like drugs (that to ) but high feeling alive.
Itās always the same and I cannot control it once something it has been discovered until last bit I just move on to other things ā¦. Placesā¦peopleā¦ stuff
Stability kills me , life with no risk ā¦ not knowing whatās tomorrow make me alive
Do you guys have same thing?
Morning mate,
Difficult post to reply to, as I almost want to give a āhistoryā of my active addiction.
For me, I was (and still do to an extent), always looking to change the way that I felt, with whatever substance or behavior I could. I just didnāt like me, hated me in fact, and certainly didnāt want to be just me. Whether it was drugs, alcohol, work, sex, everything was black and white, every hand was āall inā.
So yes, I can very much relate to what you have wrote, but for me it wasnāt to feel alive, it was about changing the way I felt and simply not being me.
For me, my life became unmanageable, and I was powerless against substances. I got to the point I really didnāt want to use, I promised myself and my daughters I wouldnāt. I meant it from the bottom of my heart. And then Iād use again, that very same day. It was insanity in its truest sense - repeating the same behavior, expecting different results.
In some ways it destroyed me, yet in a work sense it was very beneficial for what I did - the ādefects of addictionā can provide benefits.
Itās been 4 years since I have had a mind altering substance inside me now, and I am a very very grateful recovering addict. I still have that obsession on things, but thankfully I can put that to better purpose (my recovery, being a present parent and partner, studying outside of work), and I can recognize things that are going on for me.
I actually like myself now, and do not feel that need to run away from myself. I am content in life.
One of the crazy things about addiction of any kind, including alcoholism, is it is the only condition known to man that is purely self-diagnosed. No one can tell an addict theyāre an addict, that diagnosis has to come from within. It is also an illness that tells you you donāt have it.
From what you have put, the questions I would be asking myself is what is going on under the hood? What is it like not having that risk? It may well be you have a passion for risk, adrenaline, there may be no issues there at all. No one else is you - and it is only you that knows what you feel.
More than happy to answer any questions you might have, no matter how personal, if thatās of any help at all.
Honestly I kno that right now Iām really abusing my self with my life style ā¦ Iām not blind .
But there is also different aspect that make me want to do itā¦.
I been in 9 years relationship with luv of my lifeā¦
Always provide for everything make ower life enjoyable if u kno what I mean.
Once I got few years unplanned holiday on Her Majestyās pleasure after 2 months she was gone.
Iām kinda person that have very strict rules in cheating what ever is my friend or girlā¦ itās all the same .
I waste so much time for someone that wasnāt worth it in the end of the day. Plus after years of living inside i so hungry of life that I just enjoy every aspect of to the edge.
But even before all of that I always got that drive inside me to push beyond and when doing that in all different aspects I act like addict increasing dose of feelings , risk , everything. In way it took me to beautiful places and moments , experience that most ppl will not have chance to explore ā¦ it also bring me many times in really bad places ā¦.
But thatās life ā¦.
I was in that position for 10 years. I knew I had a problem with drugs, and simply couldnāt find a solution. I tried hypnotherapy, counselling, self-help books, you name it I tried it, yet I had reached that point where nothing I did seemed to help or change anything.
When I went into treatment, I went in knowing what wouldnāt work for me and made myself quite clear to the staff. I was soon told to take the cotton wool out of my ears and put it in my mouth. My best thinking was what bought me to them - and if I carried on relying on that, Iād carry on using.
Iām sorry to hear you went through all of that. I cannot relate directly with your experience, although I did have my own life traumas when I was younger. Some of which are related to my impairment (hate the word ādisabledā, I know I am not broken now), others based on how people had treated me. Itās took a lot of hard work in recovery, but I see those things completely differently now. That is a long story in itself.
I can relate to this in many ways, obviously not with exact experiences, but certainly in terms of the thinking behind things and never having a āstopā button. Everything would be done to an extreme. I would always be that guy that pushes the boundaries, take things that little bit further. I understand what a lot of that was about for me now, although I still have that default way of wanting to push boundaries. I have to pause and think of my motives behind things a lot of the time to know when I let myself of the leash in that sense. Sometimes it can be really helpful for me and others, other times itāll be very destructive - once I understand my motives it is easier for me to see if it is right or not.
I was always chasing something. A wise man, John Bradshaw, talks about addicts and alcoholics having a āhole in the soulā, and that for me made absolute sense. It didnāt matter what material goods I got, what experience I had, nothing was ever enough.
Well, it is at the moment. All I can say is that when you are at that point of āive had enoughā, there is a solution out there.
I got to the place where I couldnāt look myself in the mirror. I didnāt want to be me, and I was sick of hiding from myself, my using, my behaviors. I couldnāt deal with life, I didnāt want to be here. I also have 2 daughters who I knew needed me (I was quite functional from an external view), so I knew I couldnāt end things (I was too scared to consider that also).
For me I had that gift of desperation, the jumping off place (both common phrases in AA and NA). I was prepared to do whatever it took. I ended up in rehab, and through there I learnt about what I was suffering with and what I needed to do to get well and stay clean and sober.
I can honestly say it is the best thing I have ever done! Itās not been easy, but if I continue to put the same energy into my recovery as I did my using, I get my head on the pillow clean and sober, one day at a time. For that, I cannot express my level of gratitude in words!
I know my response has been all about me, but mine is the only experience I have had. I have no idea if this will help you in any way, but it has helped remind me of what I have now and where I was. I find that at most fellowship meetings too.
I really hope you keep as well as you can, and that if you are in a place of needing help please reach out to someone! There are a lot of options available if you need them, fellowhsips such as AA and NA if alcohol or drugs are a problem, and many other. There are other non-12 Step solutions too.
Thanks for honestly. I get what sayin believe this drop down with relationship and loosing my business n actually loosing everything thing I have and believe, itās not
Iām to uk when I get 18 years old and can decide things by my own .
Come here in 05 knowing fā¦k of good morning,
Also donāt feel like need help I want to soak life in my RNA . I was dead for so longā¦.
Iām enjoying it, every moment itās a presentā¦.
Iām in different position u knoā¦ my iq itās higher than standard thatās why they send me twice when young to specifical facility to test it.
But but itās seems I use it in different waysā¦
Honestly I donāt have issues with looking in āthe mirror ā ā¦
I just worry that I just may go to farā¦ā¦
I not believe in luv no more and donāt like ppl that is a āwhite noiseā just because u got status
or money.
I kno ā¦. I mean I guess I kno what u mean by early problemsā¦. For me was different a bit ā¦
I knew that only way is becoming strong and violent to push out all problems enemies and ppl that abuse me. I done it unfortunately and it cost me years , injures, and ā¦.
