Sorry to start another new thread.. But. I've had a bit of a pregnancy scare (all clear, thankfully) and I know a few friends who have aswell. In fact, most women must've at some point.
Since I was old enough to think like a grown up (..well....) I've always said that if I got pregnant and me and my boyfriend weren't ready, I would 100% go through with the pregnancy, and give the newborn up for adoption to help someone who can't have a little one of their own. I don't disagree with abortion, but neither do I think it's always a good option- every situation is different.
For example, I once had a friend who was VERY fertile, and despite being on the pill and using condoms, got pregnant 3 times. Her family ad her boyfriends family were both very religious (they themselves wern't) and she had an abortion each time. I think that, for her, it was the best option. If she hadn't aborted the pregnancies, both her and her boyfriend would have been thrown out and disowned by thier families, the babies would have had an awful life, as they were unable to raise them, being still in school etc.
So whats everyones views on this? I think it's so sad that some people are so desperate for a baby but can't have one.
i dont disagree with abortion, and i totaly agree with how sad it is that some people cant have kids who want them and people keep having them who dont. i wish science could discover a way to transplant feteouses from people who would otherwise have an abortion into those who want kids. whilst i hate the idea of having a baby in me i didnt want/ wasnt ready for, im not 100% with that life just going in a medical waste bin when there is someone out there who is sad because however hard they try they cant create new life.
I wouldnt be able to have an abortion, got nothing against those that do for decent reasons rather than use it as a contraception tho!
I dont know how id feel about giving a baby up for adoption, i really dont think id be able to do it.
I could however very happily be someones surrogate as long as it wasnt my egg. :) x
As someone who is probably more barren than the Atacama Desert, if I ever wanted kids I'd have to adopt, so I guess if my maternal instinct ever kicks in I'll be very grateful to those who opt not to get rid of their foetus.
EDIT: I realise there's IVF, but I don't believe in buggering about with nature in that way, so it would be adoption all the way for me.
To keep it simple as long as they know they were adopted from the second they can talk then there's no issue other wise your lying to them. Just the way I personally see it I would rather know than find out in an awkward way.
I knew people its happened to and it has totally messed them up. Thinking they were one person and finding out their life was a lie. Best way is the true, how ever hard it maybe. I also get why its hard to tell some one they're adopted.
quite agree with you there Cheer Up no one should get rid o f there baby unless its life threatning really
With all due respect, LMD, that isn't what I was saying. I am viciously pro-choice. It's not for me to judge if a woman chooses to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy - I don't know her story so there's no way I can tell her she's wrong to terminate. I was talking about using science to get pregnant; I'm of the opinion that if I'm not built for le babymaking, I shouldn't force the issue.
Totally agree, if you're not ready then prevent it! I'm prolife but do believe there are circumstances that call for abortion as well as adoption. I've been told I'll take a while to fall pregnant.... More time to practice the baby making technique :) Im not sure I could adopt but can't wait to have a baby, just not yet!! Although I do fear becoming too old to have kids!! I know when the right time comes it will happen.
Tough one, I have been on both sides of this. We looked seriously at adoption after not being able to get pregnant. There are very few babies available for adoption and most have issues such as fetal alcohol syndrome.
I have also been in the position of being offered a late term termination, I would have been over the 24 week limit for legally aborting for anything but medical reasons. I made the choice to continue with the pregnancy and lost him naturally a couple of days later.
Dispite of my experiences I am stil very pro-choice, in an ideal world I would prefer to see people using effective contraception and not needing to abort. However not every termination is the result of failed contraception. Many are for medical reasons or following rape.
here too!! you have children because you love them, yes I understand its nice to give a couple a child how can't have them... yes the SS do take children from bad parents fine.
But one thing I disagree on is the SS have the right to take away babies or children because their mother or dad has a learning problem or some other problem which can't be help and to work twice as hard as every other perant to prove they can cope is very unsetting to me.
you should be careful of adoption you might find the real parents came back for the child, its possible for them to kill to have their child back.
It's a woman's decision on whether or not she has an abortion and its digusting that protesters stand outside abortion clinics shouting a tirade of abuse at the women who have decided that for them having a baby is just not right for them. It was there decision - their choice! Abortion clinics give a wide range of advice and interview women before they sign off on a abortion. Women are given all the revelant information to make their decision.
Although I don't agree with women using it as a means of contraception in the sense that one woman has 2-3-4 abortions because they refuse to take the pill or use a condom.
As for adoption its such an amazing thing. Giving women and couples the means to love and care for something so precious.
I'm also a big fan of fostering. Something when my OH and I have kids that have grown up will look into.
I'm very much pro-choice. Going through with the pregnancy then putting the baby up for adoption is an amazing thing to do, I don't dispute that for a moment, but it's not the right choice for everyone. Personally, if I got pregnant and I felt that abortion was the right choice for me at the time, I would do it. I couldn't go through a pregnancy then give up the baby at the end, and I don't see anything wrong with abortion in the early stages of pregnancy as I don't consider that little ball of cells to be a baby yet.
My only experience of adoption is of having two adopted younger brothers. They weren't babies when my parents adopted them, they were much older (6 and 8 I believe they were), so I guess it was a very different experience to that of adopting a baby. My brothers had been neglected and mistreated beyond the age where the problems can be rectified, and they both have problems that they (and their family) will have to deal with for the rest of their lives as a result. I was only about 14 or 15 when we were going through the adoption process so I don't remember it all that well, but I remember it was extremely long and difficult, with lots of hoops to jump through. Adopting has brought about quite a lot of problems in my family, so I perhaps don't view it in an entirely positive light, but that is just my experience. I think if a baby can be placed with a family who truly want them and can't have children of their own, that's a wonderful thing.
I'm very pro choice. I think that it is a woman's right to be able to choose what to do with her body and whether or not she wants to carry on with the pregnancy. It really makes me mad that it is illegal in some countries because no one but the woman who is carrying the baby should be able to choose whether abortion is right or wrong.
I don't believe that many women take abortion lightly. Of course there are going to be the occasional few who use abortion as a method of contraception but in general I feel that women are serious about their decision and have given it a great deal of thought. They do not deserve to be judged or stigmatised.
I think that those who give their babies up for adoption are absolutely amazing and selfless. However, it is not something that I could ever do myself. And I do find surrogacy companies very strange...
I'm very pro-choice also. There are a lot of reasons that women will consider abortion for and I too hate that in some countries they can't have that choice even when raped.
That said I also agree that people can be more careful in protecting against getting pregnant if they don't want children. It really is a case by case basis.
Personally I've always been extremely careful and the 2 occasions in my life when it could have been a possibilty that even with 2 types of contraception used (pill late taking it and condom split) I went to the docs and got the morning after pill.
Surrogate mothers to me are wonderful women and if I could carry a child without been in extreme pain (I'm on morhpine patches for chronic pain) I would even consider it myself. Sadly for me it's not an option and If I do decide I want kids, it's going to be an extremely hard decision to make as currently physically I can't. My spine simply won't let me.
It is the time that makes me a bit it lazy to go through all the posts thoroughly. Both abortion and adoption trigger a weird feeling, particularly the former. Still I believe adoption will be a blessing (hopefully) both for the child and the new parents. And I mean new parents. Something that the physical parent should bear in mind for long or too long for some. I don't know how adoption can possibly benefit everyone. But it is sort of a solution to a problem as the abortion is at different circumstances.
I basically believe that every problem has at least one solution but when emotions are involved they are usually so strong enough to blur our 'vision', and I think we are unable to approach these problem from different perspective and the correct mindset. It can be stereotypes, religion any anything that can be a part of you. Your 'knowledge'.
But if you cannot give something to yourself without suffering or sacrificing yourself - I find the latter as bad as a blessing sometimes - how can you provide the basics to your future child?
Maybe calming our emotions down no matter how hard it might and think logically and be realistic would help for someone to make a decision. Even The society should respect that decision as long as it is meant for the best both the child and physical parent or at least the parent itself.
I cannot truly make my mind on this but just wanted to share a few thoughts without getting into many details and I hope I make sence.
I'm pro-choice aswell. If a woman wants to have an abortion, it's her choice. To some people, it may not seem right, but to that woman it could be the best decision she could make. Not all unplanned pregnancies are down to being careless and not taking precautions. Contraceptions arent always 100% going to work, and as mentioned, unwanted pregnancies can be down to other reasons such as rape, or a termination might be needed for medical reasons.
To be honest, I don't think I will ever want children. It's just not for some people. I think if I ever did become pregnant, I would want the baby to go to a home that would love it unconditionally. I would consider being a surrogate aswell if the situation ever arose. I know it would be hard to give up something that has been completely dependant on you for so long, but the thought of giving someone a child, and unconditional happiness would all be worth it.
My wife has had 4 miscarriages and is very unlikely to ever be able to carry a baby to term. We have been looking at adoption and it seems there are a lot of unwanted babies out there. The government has said it will make the adoption process easier so you never know we might one day have a child or two. In the meantime I have my dogs!
On the subject of abortion I am opposed to it as a method of contraception. It is a brutal procedure and the two women I know who had terminations were wracked with guilt and years later needed counselling. That said I would not fire bomb my local Marie Stopes clinic, and believe that women have the right to choose. Their choices may not be wise but who am I to judge?
