Okay, so you may or may not of read my thread before regarding having a miscarriage a few months ago now.
I had 2 positive tests the other week and now it turns out I miscarried again naturally!! That is now 2 in just over 2 months!
Anyway. A lady I work with pulled me aside on Monday morning to tell me that she is pregnant. That was okay, I appreciated her doing so. I expected the whole happy about the pregnancy from her which I could deal with. Of course I felt a little 'hurt' but dealt with it. I wouldn't want her to not be happy or pussy foot around me.
And so it began. Every single person who entered the building she told, shown the scan to and proceeded to say that this baby wasn't planned, again okay. Until this turned into 'oh we didn't want kids anyway, I'm getting bored of talking about it now' @#!!!!@@@!!!!!
The rest of the Monday, and infact every single day this week she has sat and spoke about it right infront of me without a single care in the world.
Now am I wrong to feel this way? Am I been over sensitive?
I don't know how much more of this I can cope.with!
I think she's being unbelievably insensitive, I honestly would have to take her to one side & just explain how she's making you feel, to go through a trauma like you have twice & so close together must be heart breaking & my heart goes out to you, I lost 2 babies before I had my son so I know your hormones will be going haywire, I hope things work out for you, keep believing & keep positive xxx
No. Definitely not being over sensitive, I'd be surprised if you didn't feel this way.
She's not appreciating the miracle of life or realizing how lucky she is and that's definitely going to have some impact on you when you just lost what she's complaining about having!
I hope things work out for you, thoughts are with you xx
Thank you jr78, I keep playing it over and over in my head thinking I'm wrong for feeling like this. I'm loosing sleep with over thinking everything!
I thought I was gradually coping with things a lot better and then this hits me in the face! 2 of my friends are newly pregnant and I am genuinely over the moon for them but then again they aren't been like this about it! I can speak to them both about their pregnancies but this girl is driving me crazy! X
No. Definitely not being over sensitive, I'd be surprised if you didn't feel this way.
She's not appreciating the miracle of life or realizing how lucky she is and that's definitely going to have some impact on you when you just lost what she's complaining about having! x
This is what is getting to me, how she can complain about it and say she didn't want kids etc, how can people be so horrible :( x
I think she's being unbelievably insensitive, I honestly would have to take her to one side & just explain how she's making you feel, to go through a trauma like you have twice & so close together must be heart breaking & my heart goes out to you, I lost 2 babies before I had my son so I know your hormones will be going haywire, I hope things work out for you, keep believing & keep positive xxx
This.
She probably didn't know. Clear the air with her. and get yourself into a better frame of mind. You don't want her to keep getting you worked up.
Taking her aside has crossed my mind, I think secretly I'm hoping she calms down a bit? I have it in my head that if I do that everyone is going to be against me if that makes sense, like I'm taking her 'happiness' away.
I know how you feel. I tried for 8 months to get pregnant, with no luck. I took folic acid, ovulation tests, religiously had sex every other night, it just didn't happen. At one point, I'd missed 2 periods, kept getting negative tests, and then had the most horrendous "period" of my life, which I don't really think was a period. It seemed like every day, someone else on Facebook announced they were pregnant, and it was always some under 18 girl who didn't know who the father was and "her pill didnt work" or "the condom split". A few of them even proudly posted about the fact they can now get a council flat. I had to stay off Facebook for a very long time because it was so heartbreaking that these girls got to have babies and I didn't. I know it's an absolutely horrible thing to go through, to feel like someone else is rubbing their pregnancy in your face like that, but I think the best thing to do would be try your best to ignore it, and not let it get to you. If you're still trying to get pregnant, being angry and stressed because of this woman isn't going to make it any easier. If you really have to, take her aside and really politely ask her if she wouldn't mind not talking about it around you as you've lost 2 pregnancies recently. Stay strong, don't give up, and good luck. Youre time will come :) xxx
Thank you. I really have tried to keep my calm and I thought I was doing well
I'm focusing on the weekend at the moment, hoping these 2 days will help me come to terms with things. I just keep thinking I have one more day to go and I am free of torture lol
yes she is being insensitive. If it helps you to tell her how her blasé attitude is making you feel, then do so, but try not to let it anger you too much. Easier said than done though.
Ive been in a similar situation, I was pregnant and had an ectopic, I didn't find out until 11 weeks though and my tube had ruptured, at this point I was also told my other tube was damaged and my chances of getting pregnant were slim. There was a girl at work who was pregnant at the same time, after I returned to work after my tube was removed the girl was about 15 weeks pregnant, she came upto me in the toilets and told me she had booked in for an abortion for the following week as she was going to miss the opening parties in ibiza otherwise.....
I cannot tell you how close I was to headbutting her!
Some people are insensitive idiots who really should think before speaking
Ive been in a similar situation, I was pregnant and had an ectopic, I didn't find out until 11 weeks though and my tube had ruptured, at this point I was also told my other tube was damaged and my chances of getting pregnant were slim.
There was a girl at work who was pregnant at the same time, after I returned to work after my tube was removed the girl was about 15 weeks pregnant, she came upto me in the toilets and told me she had booked in for an abortion for the following week as she was going to miss the opening parties in ibiza otherwise.....
I cannot tell you how close I was to headbutting her!
Some people are insensitive idiots who really should think before speaking
Stupid b*tch! If the Ibiza parties are that important to her, she should take more care not to get pregnant in the first place! And why wait until she was 15 weeks to have the abortion, if she didn't want the baby! She would have seen it on the scan (if she'd actually bothered to go and have one), and at that point it makes everything seem so real, and you really connect with the baby!
Ive been in a similar situation, I was pregnant and had an ectopic, I didn't find out until 11 weeks though and my tube had ruptured, at this point I was also told my other tube was damaged and my chances of getting pregnant were slim.
There was a girl at work who was pregnant at the same time, after I returned to work after my tube was removed the girl was about 15 weeks pregnant, she came upto me in the toilets and told me she had booked in for an abortion for the following week as she was going to miss the opening parties in ibiza otherwise.....
I cannot tell you how close I was to headbutting her!
Some people are insensitive idiots who really should think before speaking
Stupid b*tch! If the Ibiza parties are that important to her, she should take more care not to get pregnant in the first place! And why wait until she was 15 weeks to have the abortion, if she didn't want the baby! She would have seen it on the scan (if she'd actually bothered to go and have one), and at that point it makes everything seem so real, and you really connect with the baby!
Oh Loveballs I'm so sorry to hear this :( you're not being insensitive at all though. This is a completely natural way to feel, even though it does make you feel a bit guilty.
After my mc I couldn't stand pregnant women, I was furious and heartbroken when my cousin announced she was pregnant shortly afterwards (and due when I was), and honestly I really hated her for it, especially as it was unplanned. She's well into her 2nd trimester now and still drinks regularly. We were at a wedding not long ago and she drank so much it was unbelievable, I just wanted to smack her and tell her "you don't know how lucky you are!!". She's that type of person though, been convicted of drink driving recently too, and had so many pets that she's got bored of and given away within a few weeks.
As time has gone on its got easier, I don't hate my cousin anymore (but I'm still mad that she's drinking) because it's not her fault that I miscarried, and honestly I have no idea what she's had to go though to get here in the first place.
It probably will help you to speak to the woman at work and tell her that you've recently suffered 2 miscarriages, so you'd appreciate her being more sensitive around you. Just the other day I told a colleague of mine I'm pregnant again because I couldn't hide my sickness anymore, only for her to tell me she miscarried 2 weeks ago, and I felt terrible. If I had known I wouldn't have said anything at all, but at least now I know never to talk about it in front of her, so it's a good thing she told me.
Once again, I'm so sorry you're going through this :( if there's anything we can do for you you know where we are xxx
She knows about the first but no one knows about the second one.
Today has been a little bit more bearable too.
I am just glad of the weekend to be honest. I think if I don't get my head around it over the weekend and she is still the same next week I am going to have to say something to her x
I hope for your sake she realises over the weekend what she's been saying is upsetting, on the up side at least you have a couple of days without her now to deal with everything x
Yeah, relaxing sounds good for you hun, a nice bubble bath, and some wine (if you're drinking) or chocolate, and a good light-hearted film or book. Get some rest and time for you. xx
Just been to the shop and stocked up on chocolate so I don't have to venture out tomorrow, pj's and sofa day tomorrow lol very very lazy weekend for me.
Thank you all again for your kind words. I will get through this, I need to be a tough cookie! X