Firstly, my first time posting so apologies if I break any etiquette rules.
I would welcome any advice you could offer around anal sex. I don’t really feel comfortable discussing this with friends/family etc and so I don’t have anyone in the real world to ask.
My wife has found that she enjoys the sensation of having me (or a butt plug) in her bottom while using a vibrator. I’m happy to do either with her, but at the moment she isn’t able to take very much of my penis.
A thin butt plug is fine, but we have found that because my penis is quite large, and has a large circumference it’s quite hard for her to take very much.
I am not saying these things to brag about it or show off. I’m simply trying to explain the situation. For us even vaginal sex takes a lot of foreplay before she can take me. Often we just use a vibrator because she enjoys that and it’s less effort/difficult than penetration. And that’s fine.
when it comes to anal sex my wife can take about a cm or 1.5cm but then it just feels like my penis hits a brick wall and can’t go any further.
we use plenty of lube and try to be relaxed when we try (we try to make sure my wife has had an organism first to help her relax) but it’s always the same issue. We have been trying for a while but it doesn’t seem to get any easier.
This is not the be-all and end-all for me at all. If we never did more than what we are doing I would be fine with that. I’m not interested in trying to force anything or do anything that would be painful to either of us either physically or emotionally. But if anyone had any advice as to what is happening/where we might be going wrong I would welcome any input.
thanks for your understanding
I would suggest getting a selection of dildos from small (similar to the butt plug you have) up to almost the size of your penis, preferably increasing in circumference of about 0.5 inches. Start by using the smallest one, once she is completely comfortable, go up to the next size and so on. Make sure that she is ready to move up in size and don’t be tempted to rush!
The reason I suggest dildos over butt plugs is because they are closer to the shape and feel of a penis and don’t have the narrow neck that a plug has. You could try a similar method with plugs too but if you’re quite large I think dildos would be better.
Make sure you use lots of lube, try an anal lube if you haven’t already.
As @Kitty-Cat01 says, work up to it with larger and larger dildos or butt plugs. Also as you mention plenty of lube, there is no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal sex.
We’re in exactly the same situation. Definitely not blessed by any means in terms of length or girth - but it still is a challenge for anal.
Similar to the suggestions already, we’ve introduced some smaller plugs with the latest addition of a vibrating plug (which has gone down a treat). As it’s satisfying my wife for now there’s no need to do much differently. We’re looking into slightly different plugs that doesn’t have the bullet sticking out as this can be uncomfortable in certain positions. Likely to increase the size of plugs through the training kits - but not in any rush right now.
To reiterate the other points - lube, lube and more lube! Hope that helps.
Hello and welcome to the club
As a woman I enjoy anal over vag as like you my husband is big and I find vaginal painful sometimes but not anal - but it takes time
I agree with others- get her butt plugs - get bigger and bigger and use anal toys (always loads of lube)
I also know what you mean about when you do attempt to enter her you hit a brick wall - this will come down over time
It seems you are in a great relationship and keep trying with bigger and bigger toys and old school finger vibrators will also help as they can go deeper
What the others said, gradually ease up to it. I find that a vibrator on my clit helps immensely. Also, lube lube lube and get her really in the mood first.
Welcome to the forum!
