Anal play

Hi everyone, I’m a newbie and I’m curious as to wether anyone has any advice on anal. I love anal play but when it comes to anal sex itself my body just doesn’t want to work with me. I’ve got a decent sized butt plug and anal beads and have no trouble with that. I enjoy a finger or a thumb (haha 😂) and have tried an anal cooling lube before with no success. When it comes to anal sex itself the pain is intense, I’ve managed the tip and anything after that is too much. It’s frustrating because I’m sure I’d enjoy it and really want it to work. Any ideas? Thanks Shannon

Are your toys and buttplug larger than the cock? If that’s not the issue it sounds like an anxiety thing, if your not able to relax sufficiently any penetration will be against your bodies wishes and uncomfortable. I guess I’d reccomend getting a suction cup dildo like the lifelike lover by LH and try riding that solo. If you get comfortable with that then a penis of similar size shouldn’t hurt. You may just need your partner to be more gentle. Finally use plenty of lube, and get some good quality lube. For anal sex I, by a long ways, prefer silicone.

I wouldn’t say they were bigger to be honest. What size butt plug would you recommend just a large one? I have a beginners one and then one a bit bigger than that. I have recently brought a lifelike lover it’s smaller in length than my partner is but feels a lot thicker I think, doesn’t have a suction cup though. Is there a particular silicone one you’d recommend? I recently brought the lovehoney golden girls anal gel lube, I’m yet to try that out. Thanks

Normally I’d say to be able to take your partner comfortably you need to be able to take a toy that is nearly as big if not a little larger. If you can take a larger toy comfortably then his penis will fit easily and instead of discomfort you can relax and experience the pleasure. For a mans penis, unless he’s very large I’d say something in the range of 4.5-5.5 inches circumference would be a start. —- —- Something like this one. I also advise to try playing by yourself a few times, you have so much more control during solo play that you can experience the with what feels good and doesn’t and learn how to control your bum muscles better etc. With a little practice you can use those muscles actively during sex too. It takes a bit of time before you can take a decent sized toy without a little sting but be careful not to push to fast, pain doesn’t help your body to relax in future.

Not sure why but I can’t edit posts from my mobile today, re my post above: obviously you need to work up to the size of dildo I mentioned, use your fingers and a couple smaller toys. A common misconception about plugs is they they are good for anal stretching, not so much actually, because the neck is small it only stretches your muscles going in and out, if you put t in and leave it that doesn’t do much for relaxation training. A dildo is better, or you can thrust the plug in and out repeatedly to relax the muscle but that can be less comfortable than a similar sized dildo. Once you get comfortable with a penis sized dildo you won’t need to always warm up so much anymore.

Looks like I’ll have to do some shopping for a lifelike lover then. Well I’m gonna have an interesting weekend ahead of me and thank god for next day delivery 😀 thanks for the advice I feel a lot better.

Just an added thought whilst it’s still on my mind. I do have a lifelike dildo. It’s only 5 inches so smaller than my partner is in legnth. However, the width of it to me looks pretty daunting to go anywhere near that entrance lol. So before going on a spending spree shall I try that first?

which dildo do you have? a good cheap option for a start is the lovehoney beaded glass dildo. thrusting it in and out is really good way to train to relax and its a brilliant warm up toy. If yours is similar to the one I posted then it wil probably be difficult to fit at first, your fingers wont be enough of a warmup I dont think for it. one or two smaller toys would be useful to warm up with.

No, the one you showed me seemed longer but a lot smaller in width. Shopping spree it is then. Thank you