So a few weeks ago I started talking to a guy who I have a few mutual friends with. Then a couple of weeks ago we actually met face to face for the first time on a night out - we seemed to get on really well, there was even a few kisses exchanged and he asked me on a date. This date was meant to happen last night but he called it off last minute claiming he was too tired and we haven't spoke since.
I'm not one for games and just want to know if I'm wasting my time. Is it worth texting to see what happened or should I let him come to me even though he blew me off?
I'd say you can always text him to see what happened, and from what comes from it you'll see if he's worth it or not (like if he's yeah I'm really sorry let's set up another date, and then calls this one off too, well now you're sure that you have nothing to do with him)
Now I'm a believer in second chances, maybe his nerves got the better of him?
I might have text him saying something like "I hope your feeling refreshed and if you still want to meet up I will be at X on X day at X time, meet me there if you fancy it." Then go to the place with a female friend and if he showes up your friend can go home, if not he has had his chance and you and your female friend can have a drink a girly night?
To be honest I'd probably just leave it if it were me. I think blowing off a date just because you're tired is a bit lame. Especially last minute, that's not cool unless it's something major.
Sorry it didn't go as you'd hoped though, I know it can be disappointing if you had hopes for something good.
He actually told you he was too tired? How rude... he couldn't even be bothered to fake a half decent excuse? Wow. I wouldn't bother, I wouldn't have even replied to his "I'm tired" text at all.
I'm with Fun Louise, I'm all for second chances. I would drop him a little text asking if he fancies a drink. I like to see the good in people. He may have been really tired from work (maybe he has a really demanding job, was called in to cover a shift), had commitments he doesn't feel comfortable talking about yet (caring for an elderly relative) and text in that sleepy stage where you don't quite know what you're doing. If I hadn't have given the lad who was 2 hours late another chance I wouldn't be married to him 😊
I wouldn't contact him but if he got in contact I would give him a second chance. I get so tired sometimes that it's probably not even safe to leave the house and there is no way I wouldn't fall asleep on public transport. I've even fallen asleep stood up! It is such a poor excuse it is probably sincere. If he was just blowing you off I'd expect a better excuse.
I'd give him a second chance, see how he responds. Without knowing his circumstances, being really tired might be legit. I know how I feel after some days at work and i certainly wouldn't want that to be someone's take home impression after a first date!
Did he just text: Sorry, can't do tonight I'm.too tired
Or something like: Sorry I'm going to have to cancel tonight, been doing long shifts this week at work & am really tired and don't think I'll be up for much tonight if we go out.
If the former sounds a bit lame, if the latter I'd give a second chance and see if and how that goes, text him today or tomorrow & see what sort of reply (If any) & go from there.
1) He is genuine and tired from work . I know how that feels as I am exhausted through work and trailing about after relatives, hence I have been a little quiet on the forums .So text him as suggested for a further date.
2) My other theory is based on it being a dog eat dog world out there with singles . You could be possibly his second choice and his first choice perhaps finally agreed hence the excuse with yourself. My other possible situation also based on the above is that he likes the chase as I did and you are possible a mark in his book of conquests.In this latter case he may not even be single.
If you really like the guy then go and try and get him but just be prepared for the worst case scenario.But don't waste too much time or effort over it as there are around 10 guys chasing around 3 girls so the odds are stacked in your favour .This should provide you will have chance to select carefully and perhaps someone who ticks most of your boxes. You could even try and string along a couple of guys yourself which will give you more time to weigh up all their credentials and finally select the best one for you. I know it sounds a bit " not the right thing to do" but like I said its a dog eat dog world out there on the singles scene.
I have some interesting stories to tell about the singles scene in our town and will probably post about these sometime over Christmas when I get more time.
If he cancelled, then I'd wait a couple of days to see if he contacts you to rearrange. He should do so if he still intends on going on a date with you :)
I'm with Fun Louise, I'm all for second chances. I would drop him a little text asking if he fancies a drink. I like to see the good in people. He may have been really tired from work (maybe he has a really demanding job, was called in to cover a shift), had commitments he doesn't feel comfortable talking about yet (caring for an elderly relative) and text in that sleepy stage where you don't quite know what you're doing. If I hadn't have given the lad who was 2 hours late another chance I wouldn't be married to him 😊
I agree totally. How many people complain about being too tired to do anything at all as soon as they get home from work? I would give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a second chance. "Hey, I hope you are feeling better today? If you still fancy going out for drinks some time, let me know" I think that sends a nice message. Shows some concern and tells him you're still up for another date. Hope everything works out well for you :)
So a few weeks ago I started talking to a guy who I have a few mutual friends with. Then a couple of weeks ago we actually met face to face for the first time on a night out - we seemed to get on really well, there was even a few kisses exchanged and he asked me on a date. This date was meant to happen last night but he called it off last minute claiming he was too tired and we haven't spoke since.
I'm not one for games and just want to know if I'm wasting my time. Is it worth texting to see what happened or should I let him come to me even though he blew me off?
Its all down to you , how much you fancy him. Personally I'd give one chance if cute enough but not another. Good luck and welcome to the forum.
hs147 - I don't really want to offer advice as it would be based on my own way of thinking, and you have already been offered a great variety of views so far.
I was wondering how you decided to handle things in the end, and how it turned out?
Its always good to hear how things go when someone seeks advice.
Welcome to the forums - hope it has been useful to you xxx
If it were me I would shoot one more text out and then let it be. But if you are not that into him move on. No reason to force the issue to be blown off again. Sometimes timing is just off but if you stay positive and keep the door open you never know.