Not a bad idea, and definitely will try that. Anyone else got any other ideas?
good idea
and maybe take turns choosing, then youād be choosing for each other. Be prepared to back off if you donāt get the reaction youāre hoping for. There may be complex reasons she can use types of porn to get off on but it would not be a turn on to watch with someone else. Good luck.
Iām the same and watch the same types of porn. Itās just fantasy for me, I would never dream of asking hubby for a threesome (or more) and he isnāt bothered either. I just like to imagine what it would be like to have all that stimulation at the same time. If I wanted to feel it in reality, I could easily replicate with hubby & toys Iāve never told my hubby because I get too shy and embarrassed, because heād never expect me to watch that kind of stuff lol
I donāt think you have anything to worry about. It is very normal to watch porn about subject you might not want to follow up on. But try talking to her and suggest watching it together. Good look.
id not be worried i find sometimes porn is like when you go on youtube to find out how to restore factory setting on your phone or something then an hour later your watching the worlds strongest redneck cutting a hedge with a mower on a stick ā¦ or is that just me ā¦
Okay thanks all. New advice needed. She left the porn on the tablet when I went to use it this evening, but denies watching porn and playing with herself tonight. Is that something to be concerned that she is hiding it from me? We are married and I didnāt think she would hide this sort of stuff from me
Honestly, unless her behaviour has massively changed or she is being secretive or distance in other things, you need to let this go. Not everyone is comfortable talking about their masturbation habits, even to their partner. Especially if the conversation has come up a lot lately.
There are loads of reasons the porn may still be open on the tablet that donāt involve her looking at it today; maybe she watched it before today and forgot to shut it, maybe her finger slipped and it opened by accident and she didnāt notice, maybe it was a pop up, maybe she opened it as a way of book marking it but didnāt watch it. Or maybe she opened it and left it open deliberately to see if you would comment.
If this is really bothering you that much, the only thing you can do is have a chat with your wife. Explain what is worrying you and ask her for reassurance.
Ummm you say sheā¦
maybe youāve pushed too far, too quickly. If sheās embarrassed or is uncomfortable talking about it for any 1 of a number of very valid reasons, pushing too hard will most likely make her clam up and may create friction between you. Suggest you back off and leave it.
I would agree with @Calie and @Sea there, maybe leave off for a while! Also as she isnāt ready to talk yet its most likely just very private to her and not opening up about it will be irrelevant to your relationship and more to do with her own thoughts about it all! Iāve unfortunately had lots of friends feel a lot of shame towards this kind of thing and you donāt want to make her uncomfortable!
As said Iād give her space and if you do mention it try and keep it playful, flirty and short rather than pushy as it may help her see you like it and itās safe for her to be open, and itās a turn on! But let her come to you with it!
Iām a bit careful with porn, the positive feedback of pleasure makes it easy to recondition oneself and I donāt want to end up craving something I canāt have. When the only thing Mrs S would do for me was handjobs I always used to browse for handjob porn until eventually that became the activity I most wanted. Now Iām more aware of projection I focus more on the sensations I think someone is experiencing and try to feel those myself.
The brain is very malleable. I was initially repulsed by images including penises and focused exclusively on womenās bodies, but started to visualise being alternately the woman and the man, synchronised with my in and out breaths, receiving and thrusting. Then I got to a strange state of lying still on my back, imagining I had my ideal woman inside me, like having two bodies, and felt this amazing surge of energy all through me without moving, it could go on all night like some sort of slow orgasm. Iāve also been through a stage of narcissism, focusing only on my own body and feelings, imagining only what I was going to do to myself. This was great for freeing myself from obsession with other people - I went to an ex girlfriendās party once and the feeling of no longer wanting her was wonderful, liberating. She might even have been hinting at interest but no trouble was run into. Mrs S did recently buy a āsexy schoolgirlā short skirt without telling me, which isnāt something Iād have done, but Iām aware enough now to see the difference between a mature lady pretending to be a schoolgirl (sexy) and an actual schoolgirl (inappropriate), know the difference between fantasy and reality.