Affair

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Hello

New name for new question.

Two of my married friends are having FWB type affairs and they are loving them.

I know it is very much not the topic anyone wants to talk about.

But ...

I would love to have an affair this year and have more or less decided to do so.

I can't tell my hubby, we have talked about it, but he just isn't up for me doing it.

Any tips?

Anyone had one successfullly?

Thanks

Anna

2

Wow, firstly I think it's wrong to have to have an affair. If your hubby was consenting to the extra marital sex then fair play but having an affair could cause the end of your marriage. Are you prepared for that? If you aren't happy enough in the marriage to stay loyal then maybe that needs to be a conversation with your hubby.

3

Hi Anna,

Since your husband isn't open to that, you'd be putting your relationship and marriage at risk by having an affair. Is it worth it?

I've cheated on a couple of my ex boyfriends, but didn't have sex with the person I cheaten on them with. With the first one I didn't get much out of the relationship and didn't consider it ''serious'' enough. Making out with someone else was exciting, partly because it was ''forbidden''.

With the second one we were in a serious relationship with and in the end I felt I had to tell him. He forgave me, but that took its toll on our relationship. It took me a long time to realize **why** I seeked someone else. In my case, it was because I wasn't getting what I needed from my boyfriend. He was emotionally unavailable, among other things, and that other guy filled in the gap perfectly. To complicate things more, I have now accepted that I can be romantically and/ or sexually involved with more than one person at a time. I'm polyamorous. But now I'm honest about this with any potential partners.

To answer your question, my tried-and-tested tip is to find someone who lives in a different city, and to meet him as far away as possible from where you live. In my case we had a semi-long-distance relationship, which made it much easier.

4

Thank you.

We have chatted about open relationships and its not for us.

Before we were married he has given me a weekend pass occasionally for girlie holidays and hen weekends but I haven't always used them.

I also had some extramarital sex on a conference but asked him beforehand, he was OK with it because it was in a different country with someone I would never meet again.

I think that if I really really nagged him he would give in eventually but I just want it as a sexy, private treat for myself.

I know everyone will view this as wrong. But I really don't see it as cheating, it is different to when men do it, I know that is hypocritical but that is how I feel. I have always been able to separate sex from relationships and I am really missing casual, no strings, horny sex for its own sake. It makes me feel happy, sexy, confident, and on top of my life.

What you describe Smultron is how I feel. I am perhaps polyamorous too. I have similar experiences with previous boyfriends that you do.

I would like to think that I would have no problem attracting someone nice if I gave the right signals. I am just a bit aphrenrsive about the practicalities and was wondering if anyone had similar experiences.

5

The greener grass :/

I wonder how much your friends are really enjoying the FWB situation. I couldnt do it, I wonder how much is bravado as to not look lame infront of the other party?

You seem to of made your mind up so I assume you have a person in mind already?

Its sad it see any marriage put at risk this way, in a weird way it would be better to call it a day sooner, let you both recover quicker and move on :/

If its just pure lust your looking for, pay for it to not catch feelings - just an idea.

Edit, you replied while i was typing

6

Oh wow. I don't know what to say. I don't want to cause hate on this thread but why are you even married if you want to shag other people?

I get it, I have had a threesome with my hubby, at my request and some of my LH friends invite others into their relationship's too... but why have an affair? That is just plain horrible.

Anything remotely secretive in a marriage is not okay.

7

confusedwife wrote:

Hello

New name for new question.

Two of my married friends are having FWB type affairs and they are loving them.

I know it is very much not the topic anyone wants to talk about.

But ...

I would love to have an affair this year and have more or less decided to do so.

I can't tell my hubby, we have talked about it, but he just isn't up for me doing it.

Any tips?

Anyone had one successfullly?

Thanks

Anna

***THREAD CLOSED*** - discussing illegal, non-consensual sexual activity and NOT sexually happy at all.