I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, and he's the first serious relationship I've ever head in my entire life. We've both said we love each other lots of times and I sometimes felt like I really did love him, but I think I was just kidding myself. I don't think I've ever really truly loved anyone, ever. I feel like I'm just really messed up in the head and like something is missing in me. As if I don't feel the way other people feel. I really don't know what I'm meant to do..
Oh Kittycat102 I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Boo actually recommend a book to me a year or so ago on here that I have found (whilst a bit cheesy in some parts) has helped me with this aspect of my ability to express and recieve love.
It is Loveability by Robert Holden, it is on Amazon. I think it is ok to sahre that as Lovehoney does not sell books like this.
You are NOT messed up, or flawed. We are all imperfect people comprised of a series of our life's journey that make us who we are. So please don't dog on yourself hon.
I think the first thing you need to do is have a chat with your G.P.
Might be something, might be nothing, but you don't sound happy and noone should have to suffer in silence. All the best with it,
Thanks Vanessa, I just feel so lost and afraid.. I don't want to feel like this hollow being for the rest of my life..
You ARE NOT going to feel this way for the rest of your life my dear. Are you dealing with any depression right now, self esteem issues, past abuse that can be affecting the way you engage with people in a relationship? I am asking these question more for you to think about vs. feeling like you need to post anything overly personal here.
It could also be that this boyfriend / relationship is not a good fit long term becuase there could be something missing. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you, but rather your needs with him in the space and time.
Have you thought about seeking counseling to help you sort out these feelings?
you are not messed up, we can love but also feel that although we love that person, they aren't the one that we can see ourselves spending our lives with.
Nah, I don't think you are messed up at all. Love is interesting in that there are so many "levels" of love. You can love someone, but they aren't the person for you. It is extremely difficult to find that right someone, for some anyways. Being a fairly introverted person myself, I have passed up many opportunities to further a relationship with people who had the potential to be good friends, or possibly more.
Personally, if you don't feel like you're with the right person day in and day out (it's not just a fleeting thought that occurs every now and then, caused by mood and emotions) I believe you should talk with your boyfriend, and possibly consider continuing your search.
I should probably mention that I am most definitely not an expert in this field, just my thoughts.
Good luck :)
I don't think you are messed up.love is a strange thing at the best of times and it means different things to different people.
We all have different experiences and stories of love that either resonate with people or are completely alien to us.
Talking about any problems always helps.either with your partner,friends,family or complete strangers 😉
I think it's important to focus on the moment.how you are together,if your happy and take it from there.dont get too bogged down with putting feelings and thoughts inboxes.dwelling and over analysing can just get you down
Well I did break up with him today, I just felt like it was the right thing to do. I was honest with him and I didn't want our relationship to be a lie anymore
It's sad to hear.i hope your ok
Kittycat102 wrote:
Well I did break up with him today, I just felt like it was the right thing to do. I was honest with him and I didn't want our relationship to be a lie anymore
Might hurt now, but I imagine it was for the best. It would only be harder if it went on for longer.
Hope you can heal and find that right person :)
Discreet Pleasures wrote:
Kittycat102 wrote:
Well I did break up with him today, I just felt like it was the right thing to do. I was honest with him and I didn't want our relationship to be a lie anymore
Might hurt now, but I imagine it was for the best. It would only be harder if it went on for longer.
Hope you can heal and find that right person :)
I agree .I for one don't think you are messed up .IMO you have fallen out of love and don't have the same feelings anymore for your relationship .Many relationships come to an end at some time and this is what's happened here . It may hurt a little inside but that's only normal but you have done the kindest thing in setting the guy free.
When you find Mr Right ,you will know and so will he. You both will get butterflies that stay with you and help to keep the relationship going without running out of steam . At the moment you will be emotionally vulnerable ,sometimes referred to as "Being on the Rebound" So if you can go put with friends and keep away from other guys for say at least a couple of months after which normal service will resume.
There's nothing wrong with you at all. You may need to talk to someone however. If you're miserable it's best to try to see what's going on. A lot of people struggle with those same feelings. xx
I don't think you're messed up hunni, maybe this guy just isn't right for you. It sounds like you're just dealing with guilt because you couldn't see a future with this guy. I think you've dealt with it well in telling him the truth. If you keep feeling this way maybe talking to a professional as others have said would be the way to go. I honestly think you're being too hard on yourself. Hope you feel better soon hunni ❤xx
aw kittycat102 i hope you're ok!!
Maybe a break up was the best thing to do.. having time away might end up in you finding someone who makes your heart sparkle, or maybe it'll work out and you both realise you want to be together! who knows?
BUT, it's better than hurting yourself. Sometimes falling out of love just happens and there's no need to feel guilty or bad for that.
Hope you're feeling better soon! Hugs x