Hi there,
I posted this message in a previous anal thread, but as I'm new to the forum I don't know if it will be seen there, so I thought I'd try starting my own thread as well.
I'm hoping that someone will be able to offer some sound advice for my OH and I. We have purchased a wide range of anal toys to help us, but I am finding that the sensation, just before a plug/toy is fully inserted is quite uncomfortable. However, I am able to take my partner's penis completely with so issues. The girth of the toys does not seem the issue as my partner's penis is larger than any toy we have tried, and I am able to insert the widest part of the toys fine. So I am very confused as to why I find the final insertion so challenging. Also, the toys we have tried have been anything from glass to silicone- so I don't think material is at fault.
Has anyone else had similar issues? Is there something that we are overlooking?
Thanks!
When you're saying the final insertion, do you mean on something like a plug where it tapers? Or is it more to take the full length?
Would you say it's the stretching that's uncomfortable or the internal feeling?
I have a lot of problems with the stretching caused by anal for physical reasons but I love the sensation of feeling full. I also find that it's easier with my partner than with a toy but I think that's because a toy generally doesn't have much give and can't respond in the same way my partner can to my responses. We use lube and gels specifically for anal sex which have helped quite a lot. My advice is, if it hurts to the point that you're not enjoying yourself listen to your body. Take care of yourself!x
Thanks for the response!
I only seem to have problems with the plugs/toys- particularly where it tapers. I have no problem when it comes to my partner and/or when we use larger toys I can get the full length in (regardless of size) until it comes to the part where it tapers. We've tried using the progression kits where they go up size by size and though I have managed some of them (very few) I just can't seem to get it in the whole way.
I'm not 100% sure what is causing the discomfort to be honest. I like the feeling of my partner inside me and when we have been able to get a toy in fully it has felt nice, so I think it much be an issue with stretching. However, I am able to stretch over the widest parts so I'm not sure.
We do have a selection of anal lubes and it feels lovely with him, but I'd like to try some cute plugs and it's getting discouraging!
Thank you again for your response and I will make sure to take your advice; I just hope we can make it work!
The girth of a toy and the girth I’d your partners penis can be misleading. Materials like glass, and even many silicon or rubber toys don’t have much if any give to them, your partners penis, even when hard, is relatively soft and flexible.
If the pain you describe is a sharp sort of ouch pain as the toy reaches full girth then that’s basically just stretching your sphincters. You have two exterior sphincters so to speak, first the external one that is your anus, and another a inch or two inside, the inner one is often the more uncomfortable one.
Two things I think can help other than using a lot of lube. First get a lube launcher and put the lube inside. Second, get a ribbed dildo of appropriate girth, something like the Lovehoney beaded glass dildo or the doc Johnson’s B-7 butt plug(this is a bit larger). Play solo a bit until you can comfortable thrust it in and out over the bumps, practice pushing against the toy almost like your going to the loo (this relaxes your sphincter muscles). Before long you will have some muscle memory and will be able to accommodate toys without pain.
Finally it is worth saying, even if you are experienced with anal and can take a decent girth toy or penis, if it is another person inserting things, they will need to warm you up beforehand with fingers and smaller toys, your body is less able to anticipate the insertion and from my own experience, toys that would not otherwise be any issue can hurt a bit when the muscles are not ready.
I am not sure if this will help or not but myself and my partner really like anal, however sometimes no matter what we do or how much lube we use its just not happening with toys. A toy she has taken fully with no problems the night before barely gets past the tip before she is grimacing with pain. I thought it was possibly something I was doing wrong to start but even if I take a back seat and let my partner "enjoy herself" it happens as well.
What we tend to do when this happens is after a few attempts and hearing and seeing the frustration on my partner we usually swap aroun so that I will enter the rear(which is very enjoyable anyway) and start to use a rabbit or vibe in the front instead. Again I believve as others have said this is down to an errect penis still being "mouldable" and with no hardened edges or points it just seems to go where needed.
Although I would not recommend creams which numb the area I have tried the "relaxing serum" sold by Lovehoney and this is excellent to get you that little bit more.
Thanks very much for the responses! I'll see if your advice helps! :)