Mrs. Val’s mom has had her colon removed for cancer and is an issue in Mrs. Val’s family. On Tuesday she is heading to the doctor for a colonoscopy as she has had some pain on occasion (not from sex but some lower bowel pain) and is scared she may also have signs similar to her mom. Thus she is taking some precautions for her own health.
I think because of this (and please let me know if I am wrong) she has some apprehension to anything anal: toys, rimming, penetration, etc. due to the scare of her family. She likes when I circle her anus with lube and a finger and she does like being rimmed in the heat of the moment, but is a pretty solid “no go” on anal penetration. I’m not sure if it is a mental thing or a physical thing but she has never cared for rear entry.
My hope is that the colonoscopy will lead to some peace of mind for her knowing that there is no issues, which I honestly don’t think there is, but who knows. If she is like me, she probably can’t relax if she thinks something is going on in there. I’m hoping that once she gets the “all clear” I will be “green-lighted” to explore her a bit more. Of course if it is “no”, it is “no”. I guess I am just hopeful that she can relax a bit more knowing that everything is normal and that anything penetrative when done at her pace and depth. From what I read here there is some definite pleasure in anal stimulation from the ladies and I know when I am penetrated it is the BEST!
I just hope she can feel it knowing that there is no issues there. Any insight or people who have had this done would be appreciated… probably a bit of a discussion between the 2 of us may be needed afterwards either way.
Honestly I’d give her space. Sometimes just because you get the okay don’t mean she’s mentally ready for it. Sounds like she’d be willing to try on occasion tho? I’d go gently and slowly
Getting the ‘all clear’ may well not change anything, particularly if she still gets occasional pain as she will more than likely still be concerned until she finds out what IS causing the pain (the colonoscopy hopefully ruling out cancer concerns) What it might do though is open up the conversation to be able to find out what the reason is for her reluctance as you say you’re not sure if it is a mental or physical thing.
It sounds like she’s made it clear that she doesn’t want any any anal penetration but is happy with external. Her mums health issues are probably reinforcing that now but honestly I’d take her ‘no’ as her answer. If you push it and she says yes, it is not consent!
If it’s a solid no go, most likely she won’t want it after getting checked out either. It’s clearly a hard no for her, and as @JoCat mentioned, if you push her until she says yes, that’s not consent, but coercion.
I’d highly suggest you maybe don’t push anything. Perhaps she’ll bring it up in the future, but she may not either, that’s completely up to her and what she’s comfortable with. Currently, it seems she’s comfortable with a little anal stimulation, leave it at that, maybe she’ll be a little more comfortable in the future to go further, or she may not.
In response to this, every person’s body is different, and not everyone is going to get the same pleasure out of it. Just because you think it’s the best, doesn’t mean someone else does. Pleasure from any kind of stimulation isn’t guaranteed to work for everyone, and I think it’s important to keep that in mind, as well as people’s hard limits.
I must agree with @RacyRosalee and others. Even if a test /examination was all clear for me I would have no interest in Anal. It is totally personal choice but is is not for me.
My wife is nearly 4 years out from finishing her treatment for anal/lower colon cancer. We dipped our toes into anal play before her diagnosis but ever since then it is definitely a hard no.
I love anal play both on my partner and myself, so I just have to suck it up and realize there is no way it’s going to happen again.
It’s hard but that’s her decision and I would never try to sway or coerce her away from it just for a few minutes of pleasure for me.
It is what it is and her word is final so I think you may just have to accept it like I did.
I think even if your wife colonoscopy is clear it will always be in the back of her head as a family running thing and she may never change her mind. Her anus/colon, her call.
I’d sense it would be a mix of both worry and physical to why she’s gone off the anal stuff and like said once she’s had this test done and knows there’s nothing to worry about, she may be more at ease to explore again even if it’s just a little at first.
Best thing is to keep supporting and have open conversations with her.