Thanks guys, wasn't sure anyway was gonna respond to my pathetic wineing.lol
It's not pathetic at all, it sounds like he's being rather selfish; does he realise that you are not at all keen to try this? For me, the whole point of being intimate with someone is that you are both enjoying it mutually. I would never want my partner to do something for me if they did not enjoy it themselves.
If he really wants to make a mess on you, the least he could do is offer to lick it up afterwards so that you get some pleasure from it too.
Postillionager has hit it right on the head here - it isn't just about one person. I would recommend you talk to your partner, make sure he understands that you are not keen on this, it is unfair for you to be asked and you feeling like you have to do something.
Yep i cant emphasisie this enough Haywire, I definitely feel he is pushing you into something you feel very uncomfortable doing, you tried it its a "No" end of matter!!!
As Postillionager says, its about being intimate, the whole idea of sex, is that you both love each other so much that you want to please the other person, Im sure theres a few things he wouldnt do.
I do want to emphasise though; cuming in your face isnt a degrading for women; its just another from of sexual play alot of us enjoy that; we are all individual people and get turned on in different ways; but if you feel uncomfortable then DONT!
No-one, no-one should be pushed into anything; sex is a fun, intimate, playful, sexy time for the both of you. You should look forward to it not dread it.
And no your certainly NOT pathetic, it sounds quite selfish and immature were all here to try and help anyway we can. Goodluck huny.
Read through here and wanted to ask a question to get something clear in my head. Are you more worried about what he is asking for or the fact that he is asking you to try lots of new things?
If it was the second it would hit my confidence as i would be wondering if he was satisfied, especially if there were any other issues in the relationship.
I think that you need to talk to him and be honest about how you feel, both about what he wants to try and the fact he has asked.
As a secondary point, I have no objection to OH finishing on me, as long as it is neck down. Face and hair are out of bounds! And I hate giving oral, which he respects and doesnt ask for
Perhaps he is finally at a point with you where he feels relaxed enough to ask you to do these things in someway knowing that they are pushing the boundaries a bit. He might have been storing all these desires and sometimes when you open up the flood gates all this stuff pours at once.
As always communication is key. What is about this that turns him on? Is it just that he's watched lots of porn and this is something he wants to try just for that reason or is it that he likes that it would be a submissive act on your part. If this were true then perhaps you could say no thanks to facials but you would like it if he tied you up for an example.
MM - I'll tell u who I suspect cares how it finishes - him! To me how a session ends leaves a lasting impression on the whole act. If I'm getting great oral and OH keeps it going whilst I come in her mouth then my heads in bits I have such a strong orgasm. If however the oral stops minutes before and my wife switches in mechanical jack me off mode and I come on my own stomach with no interaction other than having tissues past to me then it really feels disappointing. Thankfully i've been able to communicate this so it's happening less now. An orgasm isn't just an orgasm to a bloke anymore than it is to a woman.
GG my OH is the same as you. Face is a no no. Hair! I'd be dead by the time my second droplet of spunk hit her hair. Other than that my man juice knows no bounds! Does anyone come on their partners. . . .feet?
GG my OH is the same as you. Face is a no no. Hair! I'd be dead by the time my second droplet of spunk hit her hair. Other than that my man juice knows no bounds! Does anyone come on their partners. . . .feet?
SG thats a silly question to ask a foot lover!!
Footjobs and cum on feet is a regular happening here, but not to everyone's taste.
Perhaps he is finally at a point with you where he feels relaxed enough to ask you to do these things in someway knowing that they are pushing the boundaries a bit. He might have been storing all these desires and sometimes when you open up the flood gates all this stuff pours at once.
As always communication is key. What is about this that turns him on? Is it just that he's watched lots of porn and this is something he wants to try just for that reason or is it that he likes that it would be a submissive act on your part. If this were true then perhaps you could say no thanks to facials but you would like it if he tied you up for an example.
MM - I'll tell u who I suspect cares how it finishes - him! To me how a session ends leaves a lasting impression on the whole act. If I'm getting great oral and OH keeps it going whilst I come in her mouth then my heads in bits I have such a strong orgasm. If however the oral stops minutes before and my wife switches in mechanical jack me off mode and I come on my own stomach with no interaction other than having tissues past to me then it really feels disappointing. Thankfully i've been able to communicate this so it's happening less now. An orgasm isn't just an orgasm to a bloke anymore than it is to a woman.
Think is though, not matter how good finishing in a womans mouth feels, if they aren't comfortable with it then it is one-sided pleasure. From what I can tell, where a man ejaculates seems to be a big isssue for men, I am not sure whether it's an ego thing or what. You don't get many women really wanting to orgasm or ejcaulate into a mans mouth, it usually isn't on the list of high priority things.
Read through here and wanted to ask a question to get something clear in my head. Are you more worried about what he is asking for or the fact that he is asking you to try lots of new things?
If it was the second it would hit my confidence as i would be wondering if he was satisfied, especially if there were any other issues in the relationship.
I think that you need to talk to him and be honest about how you feel, both about what he wants to try and the fact he has asked.
As a secondary point, I have no objection to OH finishing on me, as long as it is neck down. Face and hair are out of bounds! And I hate giving oral, which he respects and doesnt ask for
xGGx
An answer to your question would be both.
I'm all up for trying things. But these things wasn't what would pop up. It would be things like toys,positions etc.. I'm worried about how it's all suddenly been raised as well. It feels like why now? Why all this at one time? Has it been 'boring' up till now?
I discussed it with him, i'd said i'd try, but that i'd be uncomfortable. He said he wouldn't see me as degraded, but I still feel like I probably will be.
Read through here and wanted to ask a question to get something clear in my head. Are you more worried about what he is asking for or the fact that he is asking you to try lots of new things?
If it was the second it would hit my confidence as i would be wondering if he was satisfied, especially if there were any other issues in the relationship.
I think that you need to talk to him and be honest about how you feel, both about what he wants to try and the fact he has asked.
As a secondary point, I have no objection to OH finishing on me, as long as it is neck down. Face and hair are out of bounds! And I hate giving oral, which he respects and doesnt ask for
xGGx
An answer to your question would be both.
I'm all up for trying things. But these things wasn't what would pop up. It would be things like toys,positions etc.. I'm worried about how it's all suddenly been raised as well. It feels like why now? Why all this at one time? Has it been 'boring' up till now?
I discussed it with him, i'd said i'd try, but that i'd be uncomfortable. He said he wouldn't see me as degraded, but I still feel like I probably will be.
Read through here and wanted to ask a question to get something clear in my head. Are you more worried about what he is asking for or the fact that he is asking you to try lots of new things?
If it was the second it would hit my confidence as i would be wondering if he was satisfied, especially if there were any other issues in the relationship.
I think that you need to talk to him and be honest about how you feel, both about what he wants to try and the fact he has asked.
As a secondary point, I have no objection to OH finishing on me, as long as it is neck down. Face and hair are out of bounds! And I hate giving oral, which he respects and doesnt ask for
xGGx
An answer to your question would be both.
I'm all up for trying things. But these things wasn't what would pop up. It would be things like toys,positions etc.. I'm worried about how it's all suddenly been raised as well. It feels like why now? Why all this at one time? Has it been 'boring' up till now?
I discussed it with him, i'd said i'd try, but that i'd be uncomfortable. He said he wouldn't see me as degraded, but I still feel like I probably will be.
p.s. what's OH? sorry i'm new to this. xx
I didn't know what an OH was either :) It is a other half, partner that sort of thing. Much easier when there are so many different relationships.
If you do feel uncomfortable even thinking about it then don't try.. yet. If in a few months when everything has returned to the usual sex and you think hmmmmm, then do it. Otherwise don't worry. Not everyone has to like everything.
Sex isn't boring, or at least it shouldn't be. However, when you have a connection with that person then it makes it more than just sex (soppy I know, but it's true!), which could never be boring.
I have sometimes unloaded verbally to my wife about different ideas or things I'd like to try but would never expect an instant answer on those ideas. If she didn't fancy doing them, gave a deffinate NO or was willing to try something a couple of times then Fantastic, the important thing is that she listened, thought about it and gave me a reason for the NO's I respect that everytime.
Haywire wrote:
ghostgirl wrote:
Read through here and wanted to ask a question to get something clear in my head. Are you more worried about what he is asking for or the fact that he is asking you to try lots of new things?
If it was the second it would hit my confidence as i would be wondering if he was satisfied, especially if there were any other issues in the relationship.
I think that you need to talk to him and be honest about how you feel, both about what he wants to try and the fact he has asked.
As a secondary point, I have no objection to OH finishing on me, as long as it is neck down. Face and hair are out of bounds! And I hate giving oral, which he respects and doesnt ask for
xGGx
An answer to your question would be both.
I'm all up for trying things. But these things wasn't what would pop up. It would be things like toys,positions etc.. I'm worried about how it's all suddenly been raised as well. It feels like why now? Why all this at one time? Has it been 'boring' up till now?
I discussed it with him, i'd said i'd try, but that i'd be uncomfortable. He said he wouldn't see me as degraded, but I still feel like I probably will be.
p.s. what's OH? sorry i'm new to this. xx
The important thing he needs to understand is not so much how he would see you but how you would feel. Like BP has said, how it finishes can stay rolling around in a guy's head. being finished by hand, and having tissues given him would give a dismissive feeling BUT....... Being finished by hand (onto HIS stomach), then gently played with after and cleaning up together in the shower etc can keep the intamacy going and possibly get you feeling more comfortable with him cumming elsewhere and go someway to satisfy his fantasy.
My OH is like you, doesn't find being cum on a turn on in the slightest and I respect that and have never asked again or tried doing it without her consent! During the above mentioned finishing sessions I actually came so hard I hit myself in the face and eye and would NEVER want to do that to the OH
No I don't think my OH gets any direct pleasure from me coming in her mouth BUT she does enjoy seeing how much it turns me on which is a pleasure for her in another way. She wouldn't do it if she didn't get some pleasure from it. It's not as if she just says yes to everything I ask for because I like it.
We all do this , I can't say kissing her neck does anything for me but i do it because she loves it which then does turn me on.
I do agree that you shouldn't do it if you feel uncomfortable. The fact that my wife lets me come on her body ( not her face or hair ) has never made me think any less of her.
Some people ( and I include myself ) do always have an urge to try new things out sexually otherwise u never know what your missing. That isn't the same as being bored with what you have.
No I don't think my OH gets any direct pleasure from me coming in her mouth BUT she does enjoy seeing how much it turns me on which is a pleasure for her in another way. She wouldn't do it if she didn't get some pleasure from it. It's not as if she just says yes to everything I ask for because I like it.
We all do this , I can't say kissing her neck does anything for me but i do it because she loves it which then does turn me on.
I do agree that you shouldn't do it if you feel uncomfortable. The fact that my wife lets me come on her body ( not her face or hair ) has never made me think any less of her.
Some people ( and I include myself ) do always have an urge to try new things out sexually otherwise u never know what your missing. That isn't the same as being bored with what you have.
I wasn't saying that you don't get pleasure from it and that we each give pleasure but don't necessarily have it returned at that moment.
I was simply pointing out that if she is uncomfortable with him finishing on her or in her mouth then then that is unfair, not matter how good he finds it.
No I don't think my OH gets any direct pleasure from me coming in her mouth BUT she does enjoy seeing how much it turns me on which is a pleasure for her in another way. She wouldn't do it if she didn't get some pleasure from it. It's not as if she just says yes to everything I ask for because I like it.
We all do this , I can't say kissing her neck does anything for me but i do it because she loves it which then does turn me on.
I do agree that you shouldn't do it if you feel uncomfortable. The fact that my wife lets me come on her body ( not her face or hair ) has never made me think any less of her.
Some people ( and I include myself ) do always have an urge to try new things out sexually otherwise u never know what your missing. That isn't the same as being bored with what you have.
I agree, I've been in a relationship when it's become 'boring' or 'mechanical' and it's a totally different feeling. I've found that the closer my OH and I became I thought of different ideas we could try as we became more comfortable with each others bodies and also our own bodies, maybe he had a sudden light bulb moment and felt comfortable enough to share with you but it just came out as an out pouring of requests?
MM - we agree then as I wouldn't expect or want my wife to do something that she dislikes and gets no pleasure from at all in any sense. in fact I'd be quite upset to find something like that out.
Luckily my wife isn't like that and tells me to bugger off I suggest something she doesn't want to do!
MM - we agree then as I wouldn't expect or want my wife to do something that she dislikes and gets no pleasure from at all in any sense. in fact I'd be quite upset to find something like that out.
Luckily my wife isn't like that and tells me to bugger off I suggest something she doesn't want to do!
I think some input from the guys can be quite insightful. It's not about being right or wrong..
I agree with a lot of the things. I think communication is the key part here. My OH is the more adventurous of us both and does sometimes come up with things that I do think is quite "out there" for me, personally. I think it's great to feel that comfortable where we can share our fantasies and potentially explore and experiment together. That being said I do talk about any issues I may have with some of the acts involved.
For example- My OH has also mentioned the "facial" experience and him being curious to try it whereas I have no desire to and I have made that clear. Maybe in the future I may allow it to happen to try it out but the choice is mine to make. Let him know what you're prepared to try and what you're uncomfortable with. Trying new things doesn't mean your sex life is boring now I think it just adds more trust and intimacy in a sense because you allow that person to explore and experiment with you sexually.
Have fun and don't feel pressured into doing something you're not comfortable with. =]
