I have been married now for over 10 years. When my husband and I got together it was the mind blowing sex that cemented us together. Fast forward to now and it's as though it's to much hassle for him. I don't know what to do. I have tried talking to him but he just says there is more to a relationship than sex, I'm fed up with being the instigator every time and I'm fed up of only getting it once a month. Do any of you lovely people have any suggestions as to how I can try and approach this please?
OK ...here's a probable solution( if you have kids might be tricky) start trotting around the house in naughty underwear... Do a spot of reveal " accidental" glimpses of leg with a flirty dress or skirt.... There are some really nice ones I primark ATM which are short...but full skirt like...so when you kneel.. You don't give everyone an eyeful( unless you want to!😉)
Also I have been seeing last year and this year long flowy skirts with two front deep split s...so you show leg on and off( a tease if ever I knew) lh has loads of sexy sets/ outfit s to suit all budgets and shapes.
Get himFired up..without begging for sex... Make him feel like he is a horny teen again by giving him a bit of a show here and there.
If you have kids...save the naughty look for later... Or even hint at you have a new outfit just for him later... Work on the suspense angle.
Gl and get saucy
Without knowing anything about your husband or his preferences it's difficult to be constructive here. Is he under any stress at work? Is there any reason for his drive to wane? Is it a sudden drop off in libido or has it been going on for a while? Are you able to communicate effectively? Would he tell you if there was a problem? OK, so now I sound like marriage guidance!
Honestly though, if you are able, the best thing to do is to tell him how you feel and see if there's something he can suggest that might revive things for the both of you.
It's really hard to advice, when not knowing what you have tried.
When we had been married for about eight years I (the male) started loosing interest, which my wife of course realised. She started asking me, very softly and to begin with in an indirect way, what would make me aroused. Then she occassionally surprised me, being dressed in lingerie she knew I liked or discreetly showing she had nothing under her skirt when out and about.
She also found out that I liked seeing her masturbate, especially with the help of some toy, so she arranged for "accidentally" being seen by me when doing it.
All those small things raised my lust for her again. We started talking openly about all our wishes and fantasies and how to keep the fire between us. Now we are celebrating our 20th anniversary and all the passion is still there.
I don't know if this will help you in any way, hopefully it will. Good luck!
You may need to look deeper in to why things aren't what they used to be.
Are there pressures at work, with other family members, financial worries?
This has happened to us in the past and it's usually something else not a case of not fancy or loving each anymore, try to get away from the everyday drudge relax and talk. Good luck
I have to assume as the others have commented on that there is nothing in the background affecting his sex drive ie pressures at work . Also you havn't indicated your ages either .For example I am 50 and no where near as randy as I was say 10 years ago .We tend to have sex perhaps twice a week on average mostly at weekends.
If he is my sort of age I presume ED isn't a factor as this can be embarrassing for a guy to get help from the medical profession and could be a reason for his low sex drive.
I hate to mention this as well and there is no intention to scare you but must mention it to cover all bases. Make sure he is not cheating on you .Harsh as that may seem but it needs to be ruled out IMHO.It goes without saying if there is another woman in the background his interest in you would wain . I do hope I am miles adrift on this .
If none of the above factors apply then with kids out of the way( if you have any) try wooing him with a romantic meal and wear a sexy revealing but not OTT type dress and watch say an erotic type vidio ( not hard core porn) together . You could also use this setup to try and find out if there is an underlyining problem that you are not aware of.
Good luck and keep us all posted