sexymel88 wrote:
i am, was i missed??? i bet not lol, my laptop is now fixed!!!!
Were you missed- Do bears shit in the woods !!!
Bloody well yes!!!
tallboy247 wrote:
sexymel88 wrote:
i am, was i missed??? i bet not lol, my laptop is now fixed!!!!
Were you missed- Do bears shit in the woods !!!
Bloody well yes!!!
i take it you missed me then tb??? i missed everyone on here, it appears that a few of the regulars have disapeared though, any ideas??? xxx
Go trek throught the good morning/ afternoon/ evening thread Mel- we mounted a search party for you!
did you, ill look when lil one goes to bed, there have been so many pages while ive been away, i think we were on late 30's early 40's its been busy on here x
Glad you are back sexymel,
Of course you were missed sweetie xx
Mel, regulars come and go, happens all the time, but l think it was Newton who said matter can neither be creaqted nor destroyed, so l guess they are still out there somewhere!!
TB
yeah i suppose they'll come back in their own time, missed you too legs xx
well said elizabeth (welcome by the way) i totally agree with you on this one, having a baby should be your decision and it shouldnt be influenced
Babies- love em, just couldn't eat a whole one !! Next question....
TB
I think it's up to the woman herself whether she has kids or not and at what age and no-one has the right to say "you must be a breeding mare because you have the equipment" or to "get rid of" unplanned pregnancies. It's easy for others to say kill your baby just because you are young but my neice is 15 and pregnant and I'm glad she is keeping it but would respect her choice if she felt she couldn't.
As soon as you get pregnant suddenly people think they can be as rude as they want, touch you in the street, tell you what you should or shouldn't do, name your kids, how to dress them even! Never mind the age thing. I am an older mum to be at 32 with my first, I have been to uni, lived my life, had great fun and married ready to settle - I'm happy with this but younger mums get to have more time with their kids - as in lifespan. My mum was in her 30's when she had me and she passed away 2.5 years ago, my dad went 7 years ago and I wish I had more time with them.
So there are advantages and disadvantages to being young or waiting. I made sure to take no risks before I was ready because I knew I didn't want kids when I was still young, I didn't have a childhood as such so wanted to enjoy my 20's.
As for smoking in pregnancy and around children, I think it should be classed the same as any other drug addiction - ironicly those that smoke in pregnancy look down on those that drink. It makes my blood boils so much - especially when you know personally of a little innocent baby girl killed by her mothers smoking in pregnancy and when she was born It really is heartbreaking to think of her tiny white newborn baby coffin and know her own mum put her in there. I've known some miscarry too who smoked though they refuse to admit smoking had anything to do with it, truth is smoking kills babies, both in the womb and out of it. I don't understand why anyone can put a drug before their own childs life.
Well done to those who do quit or do not smoke around their kids at all.
well when i was pregnant, we was booked in for an abortion as we didnt think we would cope and we was too young and it wasnt until we was on the bus to the clinic that we decided we couldnt go throught with it and thank god we did!!!
i stopped smoking when i found out i was pregnant, even though we was gonna get rid of her, i thinks it was my instincts taking over and i dont smoke in the house and i dont take her to any house where people smoke,
Good for you Mel, you quite obviously have hidden strengths, and seem pretty well up for anything you happen to set your mind to it seems, we're all up against prejudices and bigotry pretty much all the time, so just not got to let it hit you hard when you come across it !! Bloody easy for me to say l know six four and built like the proverbial brick outhouse.
Good luck to you, TB.
the thing is tb, in society nowadays everyone is up against prejudices but its upto the individual whether they take it on, my dad didnt want me having my little one as he thought i would crash and burn, he is in the police and at the time of me getting pregnant he worked in the sex offenders department and he wanted to get my hubby done for statatory rape so i walked out, maybe a stupid thing walking out at such a young age but it worked out in my favour thank god!
Think the phrase for that is job pissed Mel, probably a lot of self blame and he couldn't think of any other way to deal with it.... would pass the buck to the force so it would all become impersonal. Are you back on talking terms now though Mel ?
TB
yeah in a fashion, never really had much of a relationship with him anyway, i didnt really know him until i was 6 when he decided that if he was paying for me then he might as well see me, its always been strained and i think it always will be, i dont get on with him wife so i think thats a big factor too
I was a teenage dad, I was married with a daughter at 19. It was definitely not planned, we were both students in different cities. I took a year off my course so she could finish hers. We split up after three years, she had found someone else. We are still friends - she likes to write me long letters about her life. Our daughter is a fabulous person who has been a great friend and support to both of us. I only wish I had more children like her!
well its good that you've been lucky enough to still get on walrus, my mum and dad couldnt even be civil on my wedding day, we had to make sure they were at seperate ends of the room all day, it was a nightmare and it made the experience a lot less enjoyable
I don't think we actually wanted to get married, we were talked into it by our parents, and it was only a quick thing in the civic centre. I never had a proper wedding! (sniff)
Coming back to Crayola who started this, I just don't understand why someone would call you selfish for saying you don't want kids. It's just the way you want to live, and selfish doesn't come into it. Some people have kids, some don't - I can't see a people shortage being a problem in the near future!
Wow- lots of food for thought on here!
Miss Kitty- I can't imagine anything more heart breaking than a childs funeral, whatever the cause. Theres a poem- Midterm break by Seamus Heaney- which ends with the line 'a four foot box, a foot for every year'. I first read it at high school and it still makes me tear up.
Mel- my parents did a similar thing with my little sister. Theres three of us, and she's five years younger than me, and was conceived at a time when my Dad was away with work alot and money was a bit tight cos Mum had been out of work to look after us first two until we started school, so Mum says she got all the way to booking the appointment and then realised she just couldn't do it and they'd cope somehow. I love my little sister so I admire her for doing that. But at the same time, I do have respect for all the women who do have abortions and go on living their lives. That must be hard no matter how much you don't want the child.
Walrus- I can't fathom why its selfish to not have children either. Something about all the women who want children but can't have them whereas activly chosing not to have them is hurtful to them was the best explanation anyone could give me, and I had to read that in a newspaper! I disagree with that too- even if you can'thave your own,there're pleanty of children in Britian looking for foster/ adoptive parents, and it'd be so much better to give them a chance at a family life rather that st and mope because they're not part of you.