Hi all,
My OH is away on a business trip for a week and I've got myself in a proper state about how much I'll miss him and how I'll cope without him. It seems absolutely disproportinate and a bit pathetic - it's only a week! So why am I suddenly such a weepy wreck?!
We used to manage being in a long distance relationship and regularly went long periods without seeing each other, but this is the first time we've spent more than a couple of nights apart since we moved in together nearly a year ago. But I really didn't ought to be in this much of a tizz. In a previous relationship I was an army girlfriend, so I've coped with much much much worse than this! This is completely out of character for me, I'm usually fiercely independent.
What's the matter with me? Can anyone shed any light on why I might suddenly be reacting like this?
SS xx
Two thoughts - are you in a particularly emotional part of your monthly cycle? 'Weepy wreck' sounds like hormones. That's at the front of my mind cause I was ready to cry yesterday for no obvious reason. Two main factors seem to have been being run down from my period (I have chronic fatigue, everything wears me out) and my only emotional support being busy with other things.
It sounds as if you were used to LDR being the norm. Maybe part of your subconscious is scared/worried/? that you're going back to that, with all of its difficulties?
Just what came to mind. No need to respond directly to either if it's too private.
Hugs SS, I hope you feel better soon.
MY gf and I are in a long distance, and won't be living together until after I've finished uni next summer. When we do finally move intogether, I can imagine making up for lost time and not letting go of her when I'd actually be with her.
Could it be something like this?
Thanks RH and SM - I think you're both right, it's a combination of all these things. That and huge stress at work, so I've been particularly reliant on his amazing support of late, and being without that support at such a difficult time is a bit scary.
I'm feeling much, much better now than I did this morning - lack of sleep always makes everything seem worse, and it was the first time in a long time I'd woken up without him.
Thanks both for being lovely and supportive! I think it'll be a long week (you may see me posting more than usual!) but I'm already feeling better.
SS xx
I'm really glad to hear that you're feeling better already. And lean on us this week, at least for the things we can do over the net. Given the state of my cooking, it's probably best that I can only offer to invite you over for dinner. ;-)
You're welcome. I know what it's like missing someone, not very easy.
It's funny - when we were dating hubby & I spent several days apart every week. Occasionally he has to stay away with work & I miss him so badly - it makes me wonder how I ever used to cope.
I normally spend lots of time pampering myself (facemasks, pedicures, manicures, etc) so that I'm feeling at my absolute best when he comes back. That & doing all the boring time-consuming housework bits so that when he is back we can spend lots of time together.
Hope the time apart goes really quickly
CCW x
I have to say I'm the same.
When WandA is away now, despite having done long distance for 3 years I find him being away much harder these days than I used to!
That said, I still have to be away from him quite a lot and I adjust to it fairly well. I miss him, sure, but it's nice to be alone sometimes too - I can go to bed whenever I like because I'm going to bed alone anyway (I hate going to bed alone when we're together so I tend to wait for him), I can listen to music that I like, on loud (because WandA prefers not to hear), I can watch trash tele without feeling guilty, I can sleep in the middle of the bed and spend an hour in the bath, then paint my nails, and not worry about the fact that it takes all evening!
Make the most of your time apart and it'll fly past and then when he's back you get all the loveliness of seeing him after a while apart :)
Adx
All of this is making me feel a bit nostalgic. I remember sharing a bed with someone regularly. The last was a decade ago. It feels more and more like something that happened to someone else, like a film I sort of remember seeing.
Night everyone, sleep well.
We've been together for over 35 yrs now, and I find that being apart is much worse now than it was in the past. Even so we manage to spend a month apart from each other every year, but getting back together is so wonderful it's worth it.
Thanks everyone. I'm taking Ad's advice and using the time to pamper myself. A little spa at home! Going to make myself feel all glam and lovely for a properly romantic homecoming. Might do a little shopping to make sure I've got some sexy surprises in store for his homecoming!
I've also decided to put my foot down and take some time off work. If my job is making me so stressed that I can't manage it without my partner's support, then the job is the problem, not the fact he's away. Time to make some changes. There's a lot I love about this job, but I can't let it adversely affect the rest of my life!
Interesting to hear that you've all found that being apart gets harder over time. I think it's possible to love your partner more and more every day, even though you loved them completely the day before. It makes me think of one of my favourite Shakespeare quotes:
"My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
my love as deep. The more I give to thee
the more I have for both are infinite."
Lovely, huh?
SS xx
SweetSubmission wrote:
I've also decided to put my foot down and take some time off work. If my job is making me so stressed that I can't manage it without my partner's support, then the job is the problem, not the fact he's away. Time to make some changes. There's a lot I love about this job, but I can't let it adversely affect the rest of my life!
As someone who has a gf whose job can be fairly demanding, this makes me smile. I'm proud of her for doing so well, but sometimes it seems like she need to say no every now and then.
ShaftMaster wrote:
SweetSubmission wrote:
I've also decided to put my foot down and take some time off work. If my job is making me so stressed that I can't manage it without my partner's support, then the job is the problem, not the fact he's away. Time to make some changes. There's a lot I love about this job, but I can't let it adversely affect the rest of my life!
As someone who has a gf whose job can be fairly demanding, this makes me smile. I'm proud of her for doing so well, but sometimes it seems like she need to say no every now and then.
Yeah - I've realised that he is as proud of me for learning to say no he is of my career success! Glad to be able to make you smile SM - you did the same for me yesterday, so it's nice to return the favour. Do you mind me asking what your lady does?
SS xx
I made you smile? Well you're welcome!!
She is a manager in a pub/bar/nightclub, which is ace, but also means that she can work up to twelve hour shifts, some days she finishes at half 3 in the morning, and others she has to be in 8. Not directly after each other, but if she only has one day off in between, she can't do anything as she spends most of it sleeping.
SS I know how you are feeling, OH went to stay with his parents yesterday, not sure when he is coming back, fingers crossed for mid week.
For an independant woman who has lived alone and raised 2 kids by herself for 3 years I am struggling. Really miss him and now the kids are asleep the house is too quiet. Even had to put the TV on which I rarely do because the sound of nothing was driving me nuts
Well done for taking time off work and pampering yourself all I have managed is a PJ day and plodding through a mountain of paperwork
xGGx