Im not really expecting anything from this, think its more of a rant if im honest. Just need to get it out of my head.
Midnight passed and i just turned the big 30. Came home to a birthday helium balloon but i really dont feel the birthday spirit. I suffer from depression and things dont seem to be going well.
I just dont know what im feeling recently.
Lost, unhappy, disappointed with myself etc.
Happy Birthday - I turned 46 yesterday - no birthday spirt so spent day cleaning kitchen 😐
Hi zombifiedguy,
I do not profess to have nearly enough life experience to properly advise you, but I just wanted to say hey, you know what, don't feel pressure to be all big and excited on your birthday. It's ok to not feel ok and you shouldn't have to pretend you do. At milestones like the 30,40,etc, it really creates a moment where people think about hitting that milestone and what that should be like, and what you should be like and have achieved at this point. Let me tell you, like 95% will never feel like they have done what they should have done by these milestones. But that doesn't make anyone unsuccessful. People just tend to be our own harshest critics. Suffering from depression will unfortunately make you more prone to feeling like this.
I presume you are getting some medical help for your depression? Treatment in the form of medication, or therapy, or something? If you are, then just try to get through this feeling. Each day at a time. Rant all you like. Let it out. Talk to people. Talk to your family about how you are feeling about yourself and your life at this point.
I do not know what advice to really give, other than it is ok to not be ok. So long as you can find within yourself to think 'hey I'm not ok, I'm going to let this pain be felt, and then I'm going to pick myself up and go do something I enjoy, I'm going to look at the little things and try to appreciate even those tiny things I have and I see".
Big hugs and always know you aren't alone x
@cherie. thank you and i hope the next one will be better for you
@popk1n. Thank you for your kind words and advice.
I was on medication and talking to people but the meds made me feel worse (as well as gain weight, which made me feel worse) so i stopped taking them. The doctor i spoke to barely remembered me after so many week so i wondered how i she could help me progress if she couldnt remember what i had told her.
Im working tonight but had plans to meet a friend (only spoken online) and head to my local fetish club social event :-S
My anxiety is through the roof at the moment
Hi Zombiefiedguy,
If it helps at all. I just want to say that I really understand where you're coming from.
Don't give up on the meds and if you're not happy with your doctor, ask to see another, don't dispair, cos it will get better mate.
You will have highs & lows and you must keep taking the tablets... If they don't work for you try another cos not all of them will work for you and it will take a number of weeks before they start to kick in sometimes.
Happy birthday mate and if it helps I wish I was 30 again!
There are people out here that care, so you're not alone.
Jesus I wish I was 30 again! strewth!!
Depression blows, I know! It's hard to shake it off and get the head up constantly. Lifes a bitch and it's not easy what it throws at us sometimes. But!! you have to fight back at some point, otherwise you had might as well give into it.
Now I know you're not going to fall into that hole!
Happy Birthday for yesterday, I'm sorry it was flat, but so is getting into your 50's with baggage, it ain't easy!
Chin up, we're all here for you in our own way, so remember that much huh! x
Hanky Spanky! wrote:
Hi Zombiefiedguy,
If it helps at all. I just want to say that I really understand where you're coming from.
Don't give up on the meds and if you're not happy with your doctor, ask to see another, don't dispair, cos it will get better mate.
You will have highs & lows and you must keep taking the tablets... If they don't work for you try another cos not all of them will work for you and it will take a number of weeks before they start to kick in sometimes.
Happy birthday mate and if it helps I wish I was 30 again!
There are people out here that care, so you're not alone.
+1 to this.
dont give up, find yourself a dr that cares and be open to trying different medications if they recommend them, just because one didnt suit you doesn’t mean others wont. Big birthdays are always hard, i hope you manage to find something that helps soon.
Thank you all.
In the end one reliable friend managed to talk everyine into going for a drink but the reason wasmt really for my birthday, although i did get a few free drinks (many if im honest hehe).
Ive decided to break away from the meds and doctors and try to tackle it myself.
Meds dont cure depression, thats upto us and i want to prove it can be done :)
Hope everyone is well and thanks again
I'm glad you went out with you friends. Please chat to your doctor before stopping your meds...some you need to be weaned off rather than just stopping completely. I do suffer from depression at times and take meds for it. You are right about it being up to us but sometimes a little medical helps makes it easier for us to cope. Sending hugs x
Thank you terri
I do understand that stopping completely isnt always the best idea but i have been off the meds for a few months and i dont feel any worse.
I know the meds make it a little easier to cope with the depression but ultimately i need to get to the core of the cause.
I hope you are coping well terri :) *hugs*
Hi zombifiedguy
A friend of mine was distrault when he reached 30 but I spoke to him and pointed out all the good things he had in life, like his family and friends and the different things he wanted to do. We have both celebrated our 60th birthdays now and we are both still enjoying life to the full.
I work on the principle that birthdays are just a number, and that all it is, you are no different at 30 than you were at 29 or 28. Look at the positives in life I find that works, and you have set yourself a goal now, to look for the cause of your depression, once you find that you are more than halfway there to beating it.
As I say always try and see a positive, not a negative. It may be simple things, like it’s not raining today! Or the suns shinning this morning. I’m going out tonight!
I’m sure everyone on this forum is behind you, and don’t forget that. You can always vent your frustrations out on here, and some kind folk will be here to listen.
Take care!
Hugs for the depression, all my birthdays most of them untill I was 40 have been crap, from 10 onwards, my 21st a day from hell emotionally for me. So my 50th will be everything I've ever wanted hubby, meal out with him and in laws, 65 inch tv ordered on that day, Please don't just stop meds it can be dangerous just to stop, hugs.
Thank you for your kind words kanu amd thank you kittencub for your concern. I hope you both have great birthdays :)
I have stopped my meds as of a few months ago and i feel okay. I wasmt sure they were even working for me apart from boosting my appetite.
Just had a driving lesson and my focus/confidence was much better then in the past.
Im pushing for new experiences and improving things, it doesnt always go to plan but im still trying :)
zombifiedguy wrote:
Thank you for your kind words kanu amd thank you kittencub for your concern. I hope you both have great birthdays :)
I have stopped my meds as of a few months ago and i feel okay. I wasmt sure they were even working for me apart from boosting my appetite.
Just had a driving lesson and my focus/confidence was much better then in the past.Im pushing for new experiences and improving things, it doesnt always go to plan but im still trying :)
I hope your ok I'm struggling at the moment if I still feel like this in a month I'll ask for my meds to be upped, pmt is hell as you all. I had this five years ago and went back onto citanaphram.