Hey guys, just thought id post something as i was sent home from work with this inconsiderate stomach bug.
Ive been thinking alot lately about what i should be doing with my life in general.
I know times are tough with inflation, climate, various illnesses, war and travel chaos etc. My heart goes out to those that are struggling.
I never really did much when i got paid, i didnt have nights out or buy clothes (unless i needed them) so i have saved for a rainy day so to speak.
Thing is, im starting to see how much i have missed out on etc but at the same time i have no desires that are jumping out of my brain.
Have i stuck myself on this path for the rest of my life? Being “sensible”.
I struggle to find something to treat myself to or somewhere to disappear to for a few days(especially when theres 5 months of the work year and i havent used a single holiday day).
Ive always been ok to go without if i didnt need something but i dont know what i want no matter how much i think about it.
Sorry if this doesnt make much sense, just trying to get some stuff out of my head
You are only missing out if you think you are. If you are happy not to splurge on material things or have no desire to go away, you aren’t doing anything wrong.
If you want to go away, but can’t decide, why not put the names of a few places in a hat and randomly pick one?
I often feel while away on holiday that maybe i should be doing more…walking, swimming in the sea, etc but then i think that i work hard, get up at stupid o’clock and it’s perfectly ok to chill and relax at my age if that’s what makes me happy.
So if you’re happy with the simple things in life, don’t worry about it, or what others think.
Hope that makes sense?
I think alot of our upbringing…friends…jobs…all have an impact on our adult life and contributes to our choices in it @zombifiedguy
Some of us aren’t materialistic at all and don’t need “things” to make us feel better…
Also alot of us settle into a daily routine again it’s life…
And that is more than okay…
They say a change is as good as a rest…but sometimes a rest is more rewarding…
If you feel you have missed out @zombifiedguy AND only you then maybe have a think about giving yourself a challenge instead of days away…as if you’ve never “done” days away it may be too much of a jump for you.
Maybe swimming with sharks…sky diving…a bungee jump…or less challenging maybe wall climbing…or something more personal to you like visiting your place of birth…or training and qualifying in something new.
For some people following a sensible steady path all their lives works…others not.
Don’t compare yourself to others…alot of peoples lives especially on social media are not the “real” versions at all…
You are who you are…don’t try and be someone you’re not…if you do want to try something then do it for you & go for it.
The thing to remember is that we are all different and what makes one person happy, another will hate.
So if you’re happy with being sensible (there’s nowt wrong with that!) and not conforming to other people’s idea of what you should be doing, don’t worry!
The fact that you have a nice nest egg, is a good thing in these troubled times.
You say you only buy clothes when you need them etc, and struggle to find things to treat yourself. But if your happy with that, it’s ok. People who are always buying new stuff for the sake of it, cos they get a high from spending are probably not happy deep down.
@zombifiedguy you need to take care of yourself you have had a rough time recently and maybe a break and a bit of pampering on yourself will help your well being, hope you feel better and things improve mate
Theres nothing wrong with being sensible. Don’t live your life to other peoples standards.
What is it you feel that you’ve missed out on? And what has stopped you from doing it?
If its something that you think you should have done because other people do it, it doesn’t mean you actually want to do it.
It doesn’t hurt to try a few things and see if you get any enjoyment from it. We can always give you some challenges if you want to try something new but don’t know what.
I feel like that sometimes. While you can play it safe and build a nest egg just in case something happens, it’s also important to take time for personal joys. My partner always says you can’t take money with you when you die, so you may as well enjoy yourself with it.
You say you’ve missed out on stuff but it can never be too late for some things depending on what they are? Never too late to try something new and it doesn’t have to be Megabucks, either. Like learning a new skill or going back to something you once enjoyed again?
I understand the meaning but when people say it to me i get a little annoyed. Im not planning on dying tomorrow, i know somethings happen that are beyond our control but i dont do things that put me at increased risk.
I may have another 50 years on this earth so why shouldnt i make sure i can afford to live those years comfortably.
Didn’t mean to cause offence. I’m sure most people don’t plan when they die. We’ve lost family and friends seemingly out of nowhere and I assure you they didn’t put themselves at increased risk for it. I myself had a near death experience when a car smashed into a metal fence a few yards in front of me. You can be the most careful person in the world and someone else could snuff you out like that driver almost did that day for me.
Not saying you can’t save and live comfortably for the rest of your life. It’s your money to do as you please
There was no offence taken at all. I just mean that even if you cant take it with you doesnt mean you shouldnt keep some for while you are alive, we still have bills to pay and food to buy etc. Thats all i really meant.
I know people say that you should live like it could be your last day but i think alot of people misunderstand the meaning in a sense.
I cant take the money with me when i die but im sure as hell going to live comfortably until then lol
I know alot of people who spent money as soon as or soon after they had been paid but then struggle to pay their rent or couldnt afford to buy food for the next 6 days and i just cant understand it really.
Money is a concern for alot of people right now with everyones bills going up. Being careful isnt a bad thing.
Theres lots of ways to have fun and enjoy new experiences that dont cost money though.
Go on a camping and waking holiday. Pack a picknick and go down the park or the beach or for a nice walk.
Go out and find a nice cafe to have a cup of coffee in occasionally. Take a book and just sit and enjoy the change of scenery.
For me, (M.E./CFS sufferer) it is quite easy to succumb to doing nothing but curl up on he sofa. After long enough it does become a habit. But giving yourself a nudge and going and doing a little bit of something, even if its a simple as joining a club or going to a free music night, really is good.
You don’t have to do it all at once. Small changes really help.
I think thats what im hoping for, the little changes. Main struggle is that i live in a small town, work in a bigger town and have 2 more nearby(one of which is tiny) and ive seen all they have to offer really or atleast thats how it feels. Will try looking a little further out and maybe at a few things i generally wouldnt have considered trying 6 months ago
Makes total sense dude and glad to see you back as have missed your contribution to the forum
Hope the stomach bug clears off before the weekend!
So I can pretty much relate to what your saying as I never spend money on myself and just save it. Think a good way to break a bit out of your routine is to just randomly splurge on something nice even if you can’t think of anything… perhaps book a spa day
A local stunning listed building 4* hotel offers overnight stay with jacuzzi…sauna…steam room…pool & gym with a 2 course fabulous evening meal (lots of choice) and amazing buffet breakfast with overnight stay for 2 for £129.
It’s an amazing change and isn’t breaking the bank…for me this is a great break away from my ever increasing stress levels at the moment without the hassle of travel.
If you look around I bet you can find something a bit different that you fancy and meet new people without too much expense.
Good to see you @zombifiedguy and hope you have fun.
Im struggling. Had day off today so wandered round town but literally found nothing that interested me.
There seems to be so little in life that is interesting any more, maybe its just me but its how i feel.
Being forced to use up all my holidays and all i can think is that i have nothing to do etc
What about looking at National trust or English Heritage places locally? I always find history interesting though!
I also love cycling so I Chuck my bike in my boot and drive somewhere to cycle (if you saw the hills locally you’d understand!)
I’m also fortunate to have beaches and countryside on my doorstep.
I have also recently started a nutrition course because for ÂŁ29 I might learn something new! There are loads of courses out there!
I really enjoy learning though so I am also looking at my Masters degree
Sounds similar to how I feel some of the time @zombifiedguy, sorry there’s not much I can say to make things better.
Here’s some of the things that help me when I’m struggling, not saying that they have totally changed my life or made everything bad go away but they are things that I can turn to when i need to…
Nature - I find being around nature helps a lot. I found a lovely nature reserve near me that has a cafe and lots of bird hides over looking pools and lakes. I never imagined that I would become a bird watcher but it seems to have happened anyway. Some larger reserves have wellbeing groups so you can walk around with others. Even without an organised group I found that regulars soon noticed that I was there a lot and helped me spot birds and other wildlife. Just listening to the birds and the wind in the reeds helps.
Exercise - I started doing HIIT exercises, just 15 minutes of exercise 3 or 4 times a week and it made a huge difference to my mental health and energy levels. Unfortunately I have hypermobile joints that I didn’t know about and now I can’t do it so often although I’m building up again now. I also enjoyed lifting weights, I like a challenge and to be honest I like to show off, even if it is just to myself!
Music - probably an obvious one but it’s also essential for me. Find something that lifts your mood or you can relate to - i have particular bands that I turn to when I’m stuggling and i don’t always choose uplifting music, sometimes something relatable works better. There’s a band that i like whose lead singer / song writer suffers from depression and their music is really relatable but also positive and makes me feel stronger.
Find a cafe or pub and become a regular, you’ll soon get to know the staff and other regulars.
Keep safe and look after yourself. Sending hugs your way
