why has bondage become so pc i love the fact more people are into it but its hard to be sure if you are meeting someone just playing 50 shades of grey or the real deal with full enjoyment in the real fetish what do you think ? i am just worried crossed wires could get someone hurt and in trouble.
It should never get anyone hurt because a good partner (dom) always gets to know EXACTLY what their partner wants. Just saying "I'm into bondage" "Oh great, I'm a dom" and cracking into it fullscale without setting boundaries is what will get people hurt.
On the same scale, someone playing 50 shades is unlikely to do anything particularly dangerous if they themselves take on a dominant role.
Assuming that just because someone says they like bondage means they're already highly experienced in it is what will get someone hurt.
So in my opinion, people treading into the world lightly is not the problem, it will be some of the more extreme followers that *may* not understand how some people will be inexperienced.
That said, most strong followers of the fetish will have a good understanding of the communication required and this shouldn't be a problem.
Hi Suzie, I would have to agree it does interest me too. For one I think like a lot of things in human nature it is just so much more excepted now. I don't think more people are doing it. Just that they are more prepared to discuss it. Thanks to the likes of LH and its forums and all the open minded people here who are able to discuss it.
From personal experience it was something my OH and I used to joke about. We only dable, but there is something in it. It's like being tickled as a child, it feels nice you can't help but laugh but it's also a little bit annoying. With this in mind it's a sensory overload that you have little control over. I am a big guy ex rugby player and both my OH and I found it quite liberating for my average size wife to restrain her big strong man and have her way with me. She was then surprised how she felt when it was done to her. The element of trust can all so be very consuming too.
Whilst I hated 50 shades (stuck with the three book to the end though) I love what it has done for bringing things into the open with regard to spanking and bondage. On the whole people are a lot more comfortable talking and laughing about something that was underground before.
I also think the mainstream fun approach that LH (and others) have developed have removed the taboo from so much "kink". The LH and Fetlife forums also provide an amazing public service.
I share your concerns about safety but think that people going into these things having researched and shared knowledge is better than going into it with no info.
I dont think it has so much become too pc, as, as others have said become more openly spoke about...but also bondage covers such a wide range of things.
So what one person considers enjoyable may be very low down on bondage scale to others. So I agree with others the main key to this is to talk, and anyone who is experienced in bondage would be doing this anyway.
I like to dabble in a little bit of bondage but nothing too serious, which suits my OH, however one of my exs was into it alot more than me and alot more experienced. He introduced me to it, and to start with all we did was talk about it then he gradually tried little bits until I said no. We never got very far before I found it too much though and he respected that. Now I am with my OH and furthest we go is tying me up during sex or maybe the odd spanking. My ex is with a girl who is heavily into bondage so it all worked out in the end.
Now back to your thread as others have suggested its not necessarily too pc as more accepted and aslong as communication is their and people agree on what is happening no one should get hurt, that is the reason for safe words is it not? To stop it going too far xx
There not their ooops x
For me being blindfolded is a huge no, having come back from the operating theatre blind, I only have sight in one eye, no way did I ever want that in the bedroom, used to love it when hubby held me down by the wrists, today we have two spankers which he gives me a spanking. Pity we can't go further now but that's life.
I believe that this question can't be easily replied to on many levels, and not just on peoples experiences, or set levels.
I'm sorry suzi69, but that' how I feel. As a professional within the area, I also understand people opinions, concepts, likes, limiots, etc alter from day to day. From influences outside thier body and sometimes within. One can never juydge from first experience, nor judge with what someone may try due to a book or other media. BDSM as like any activity, whether it be sexual or not, is complex.
And what you have done is categories it. When it is something which truely can't and will always overlap into other areas of ''play''.
From a couple of days on a sex dating site I have noticed that a lot of women tick S&M as an interest, when what they really mean is that they flicked themselves off after reading a bit of 50 shades. Makes it a bit harder to find those with a genuine interest!
Its good because pretty tame stuff that previously was not discussed or got the response of 'your weird' or awkward silence, can now be discussed and experimented with.
It could be theoretically bad if one persons thoughts on what it entails differed from their partners, but that's always been the case with even the most vanilla sexual contact. Communication and respect allow consentual boundaries to be drawn. A brief discussion will show what is meant.