Heya... I'm a fat person myself (about 19 stone) and people have given me a load of crap for it. This is a nice community so I want some honest answers. (please read the entire thing before you post)
I'm pretty curvy, a nice skater skirt can hide my belly, my fiance says I'm hot he loves me and finds me attractive (you guessed it, I find it hard to believe). I've tried my hardest to lose weight, I'm depressed for personal reasons, I was sexually abused when I was a kid, I recently had to go to a court case for it and it's messed me up and made me gain about 4 stone (I was 15 stone before).
It's pretty hard being overweight because everyone makes you feel like a lower classed person all the time when I don't think they understand... some people try their hardest to lose weight it's just the way some people are born (I'm pretty sure something's in my genes, everyone in my family is overweight). I guess recently I sort of eat healthy... I eat healthy 400 calorie ready meals (I can't cook), my daily intake is about 1400 calories, I eat fruit and I drink juice... I try exercising although at the moment it's at a low.
I also have major anxiety that makes it hard to get out the house, I'm scared I might get lost, I've never used a bus on my own or walked anywhere other than the shop right next to our house. I don't talk to anyone but my family and my fiance, I'm very socially awkward (I have aspergers) and so very shy, but I'd say I'm very talented with things like art, photography & IT.
Out of all the problems I have I think wanting to be accepted but being fat is the biggest problem I have, and it's been there all my life. I just want to know, is it really that bad of a thing? Do I deserve everything I get just because I'm fat...? I hate society and I hate the way people look at me and I try my hardest, but it's not good enough.
I am not sure what 19 stones is in lbs but i think plump women are very sexy. And if you dress wearing sexy clothes it will really hel out get out of the sweat ants and moo moos but some stockings on and some tight jeans, wear some makeup. you will tghe guys looking at you in a different way. If you dont dress sexy and look like a slob they wont give you a look also other ladies will check you out and your mate will really enjoy the looks you get. just let your hair down dress up put some sexy paint on the lips and eyes and look out the fun will start.
So sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time. Everyone deserves respect regardless of size. I really hope you can find some closure for what has happened in your past. Perhaps speaking to a councillor or your GP may help. You can sometimes speak to someone on the phone rather than having to visit someone in person. Just let them know your situation, and I am sure they will help you. Sending lots of hugs Hun xx
Everyone's beautiful, and no one is perfect. You'll find people dump on you because of their own low self esteem. Women are trained from a young age that you have to look a certain way to be beautiful, but no one looks like that! As long as you're healthy who cares? Wear what you want. Once you accept yourself, you start holding yourself different and walk with more confidence (or just pretend you're confident, they don't know the difference) people stop, because they think they can't get to you. Like bullies in a play ground, ignore them and they'll go away.
Im not accepted for a different reason, I'm bi gender, but only just figured out, so as a kid I didn't behave like the girls, I didn't do my hair and makeup every day and people bullied me (even my family) because I was a freak, I tried so hard to fit in, but I didn't, then I went boxing, surrounded by men, the only girl, and it was the first time I'd ever fit in! Then I cut my hair short to make it easier to wrestle and people stared and asked me why I'd done it like I'd done something crazy, even my bestfriend was calling me a dyke in front of everyone. I realised I was never going to be accepted, and accepted that, I don't care if I'm different, my OH loves me for me and has accepted me so who else matters? No one. I have one friend my OH, that's it, and it's the happiest I've ever been!
You don't need to be accepted by anyone but yourself
Not to everyone no, but then slim people aren't attractive to everyone and the same goes for tall, short, dark haired, light haired . . .
I'm a big girl so I can say from experience that fat people are considered sexy by a lot of people. On the rare occassions I go out, I make a real effort - hair, make-up, nails, lingerie, sexy outfit and stacked heels and I always get as much attention as the other girls who are slimmer.
My husband of 16 years sees sexy when he looks at me, even when I don't. I think sexy is as much a state of mind as a physical thing. If you don't find yourself sexy no-one else will. You need to accept your body for what is and learn to love it, or if you can't you need to change it. If you find it hard to lose weight (which I do due to medical conditions) you can always ask your GP for advice.x
Everyone will have an opinion on what is socially acceptable and just from my experience its very rare its a man who sees bigger ladies as a bad thing. I am big myself at over 14 stone but have been bigger and a lot smaller and I had prejudice at all sizes. You may have your personal problems but you have your family and fiancee who obviously love the way you are so I wouldnt stress about it at all. I was criticised because I have had sugar daddies for the last few years because people think they would want young tiny gorgeous girls but im quite plain, 27 (so not the youngest person) and a big girl but I have learned to embrace it and the men love my figure. I think we criticise ourselves way too much.
There's nothing wrong being any size or shape; the only thing about being bigger is potential health issues (though underweight people get their health issues, too).
However, once you come to terms with who and what you are, you should be able to see more clearly for yourself what is important. What makes you sexy isn't your size and I've known plenty of lithe women who look as if they ought to be sexy but in fact have no hint of actual attraction about them.
If you decide that being a different weight would make you happier (not other people, just you) you can tackle that issue. But it's down to you. If you like being the size you are, that's fine, as long as you can get upstairs and do all your stuff without being knackered. If you feel being bigger is holding you back, you can either accept that or deal with it in your own way in your own time. In other words, we can tell you it's OK to be big, but if you, deep down, don't like it, it doesn't help. Only you know that.
Of course larger girls can be sexy. Sexiness isn't purely based on your shape, it's so much more than that.
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Your story is sad and upsetting but not uncommon. There's a lot of people - men and women - with similar stories, but they cope, they work on their problems, and they get through life. It sounds like you're doing this too and I take my hat off to you.
There's no successful quick fix for you. Your weight isn't purely about your diet, and I would suggest you seek help from your GP or a counsellor to work on your other issues. As you come to terms with these and you get yourself in a better place, you'll have the confidence to work on your diet.
But don't feel you have to diet to please other people. Your first thought should be for you and what makes you happy. Of course, you should consider the impact that being overweight has on the rest of your health, but don't feel pressured.
Your fiancé loves you as you are, believe him when he says it. We're all beautiful in different ways. Embrace life, have fun, and enjoy everything. I wish you the best of luck.
Confidence is what makes a women sexy. I have friends who are cuby but they have so much confidence and men love them for it. I also have friends with what fashion magazines works describe as the perfect size 6/8 figure but because they lack confidence tegu walk with there shoulders down and to be honest you wouldn't even notice them in a crowed room because there is nothing about them that's makes them stand out. Personality and confidence are the two main things that any man or women needs. If you can stand up tall, wear clothes that make the most of what you have and most important hold a conversation with someone or make tem laugh.... Then in my opinion there is nothing else you need.
I understand that it's not going to be as easy as - but to hell with what everyone else thinks. So long as you yourself are happy and healthy, then who gives a crap what narrow minded people think?
I do understand though, it is a nightmare and it's horrible. People can be so cruel. Being what they classed as Chubby in high school was the worst thing I had ever been through when I would go to class kids on the corridoor would throw themselves on the floor and shout earth quake. I hated walking to class. I wouldn't eat (and still won't) in front of people, I wouldn't have anything to eat in school because eating seemed to fuel the 'Oh look she's getting food we better be quick she'll eat it all' shit. I actually ate less than they did. Even now I won't even go in to the shop and buy a chocolate bar or anything considered 'fatty' - I won't go in to a buffet style resturant where you help yourself because I still feel like I'm being taunted by those people.
The best feeling I ever had was losing all that weight over the summer and going to the leavers ceremony to get my GCSE certificate. Never had I felt so comfortable within my own skin walking up there.
I think really you've got to be happy with yourself. And if you are then I don't see what the problem is. You're not hurting anyone. I'm afraid people aren't going to change though, there's always going to be people that will be cruel for any number of reasons. You'll have to learn to be happy with who you are and how you look, or change it until you are. Not for them. But for you. x
Of corse.. Some men don't like skinny women the same as Some Don't like big.
It's great you've found someone who thinks so much of you, forget what others say or think and embrace what you have got. As long as your honest and he knows how u feel you have nothing to worry about, go buy yourself some lush new undies and have fun! X
Us larger ladies are just as attractive as those with 'perfect' bodies. Size doesn't matter. It is what is inside that counts and it shines through your skin. I think it's confidence that makes a person beautiful or not. If your a complete b**ch, it shows and wether your 'perfect'thin, or chubby it shows.
something I realised recently was that only you have to believe you are beautiful and the one person who makes your heart sing for life to be beautiful.
Everyone's beautiful, and no one is perfect. You'll find people dump on you because of their own low self esteem. Women are trained from a young age that you have to look a certain way to be beautiful, but no one looks like that! As long as you're healthy who cares? Wear what you want. Once you accept yourself, you start holding yourself different and walk with more confidence (or just pretend you're confident, they don't know the difference) people stop, because they think they can't get to you. Like bullies in a play ground, ignore them and they'll go away.
Im not accepted for a different reason, I'm bi gender, but only just figured out, so as a kid I didn't behave like the girls, I didn't do my hair and makeup every day and people bullied me (even my family) because I was a freak, I tried so hard to fit in, but I didn't, then I went boxing, surrounded by men, the only girl, and it was the first time I'd ever fit in! Then I cut my hair short to make it easier to wrestle and people stared and asked me why I'd done it like I'd done something crazy, even my bestfriend was calling me a dyke in front of everyone. I realised I was never going to be accepted, and accepted that, I don't care if I'm different, my OH loves me for me and has accepted me so who else matters? No one. I have one friend my OH, that's it, and it's the happiest I've ever been!
You don't need to be accepted by anyone but yourself
thats so not true!! you have ME!!
I dont have friends that I meet all the time or anything like that. Women are far too faced and bitchy. I have online friends and I have hubby and I'm happy.
If your other half finds you attractive who cares what other people think?
To be honest i have had simillar issues that you are going through with my wife however we have been married for 18 years this year and have 3 kids. If i was to be truthfull alot is down to confidence and the answer to that is your fiance he has chosen you out of billions and he chose you for yourself and how you make him feel. That is a very special gift and one that not everyone has as for the rest of it as long as you both work at it together you will slowly build your own self confidence back up and then when you look back in a few years this will seem like nothing more than a little blip in the past. You have the ability to regain your confidence it will just be one step at a time and to answer the question i find larger women much more attractive and far sexier than thin women. Personally i find that larger women are more passionate or at least the ones that i have been involved with in the past they have also been more sensitive and caring than their counterparts all the best.
In answer to your question, can fat people be sexy, yes they can. But that doesnt help you see yourself as beautiful, sexy, desirable.
Im a skinny woman, about a size 6-8. While to some people i may be attractive, to someone else im all bone and not comfortable to snuggle up to. I have adult acne, and stretch marks, but despite my flaws my partner loves me and wants me.
You have a fiance and a family around you who all love you in their own way. I found dressing sexily and applying a layer of false confidence, helped my real confidence grow. Although i may never be happy with what i see in the mirror, i now accept that there are people who love me for being me and i am attractive to a certain group of men.
As humans we all have our preferance on the partner we choose. For example, my partner has a beard, most people hate it, but i like his beard. He has a shaved head, normally i wouldnt go for that haircut, but the person below the looks blows my mind and i love his personallity and the way he treats me. I now find his shaved head sexy, but on another man it wouldnt do anything.
For now you need to try and build up your confidence, find one thing you love about yourself, then two, three and so on until you love all of yourself. I know its easy for my to say than to do it. I know its not easy as ive been there and done it, but now i love my eyes, its a start of me loving myself and you can do it too.
