this is prob going to sound a really stupid question but do other people switch / take turns with their partners being subs and doms? I know there are many who will be eaither or.......
Now currenltly i have two main conflicting fantasies. one where i would argue i am the sub in the relationship and one where i am the dom in the relationship.
just wondering if there are many people out there like me who enjoy Both being a Dom and Sub? or am i just strange haha.
I'm with Gunther on this, personally I hate labels, but others need them, horse for courses I guess. I just like what I like when I like it, it varies, a lot, so labelling me is problematic...
However if forced to choose, I would say having always thought myself as mainly sub, seems actually I'm probably more of a switch too... Best of both worlds some say, indecisive say others, who cares, as long as you and your partner enjoy it :)
maybe the problem starts when you put on a label like sub and dom in the first place
Why is that? I think those terms are all right and describe what some people enjoy with their partners.
maybe the word "problem" was a bad choice, what i meant was the words sub dom top bottom mean different things to different people and from time to time likes and dislikes change. As soon as you use the word dom or sub then you need another word for switch. We do stuff which alternates between domination and submissive but we dont use words like dom and sub, its just what we enjoy doing.
maybe the problem starts when you put on a label like sub and dom in the first place
Why is that? I think those terms are all right and describe what some people enjoy with their partners.
maybe the word "problem" was a bad choice, what i meant was the words sub dom top bottom mean different things to different people and from time to time likes and dislikes change. As soon as you use the word dom or sub then you need another word for switch. We do stuff which alternates between domination and submissive but we dont use words like dom and sub, its just what we enjoy doing.
I think labels can help people sometimes to identify with something. Yes, they are artificially made. But they can be helpful. They can be tricky, at some points. And may lead to creating new labels, yet they can help people in situations, when they are eg. exploring their personalities.
And yu dont have to use it in relationship. But eg. when I found out about my sexuality, the labels did help me to identify myself. Even without using the words Dom and sub with my partner.
Thanks Lavelia point taken, clearly they are useful but maybe best not to get too hung up on over precise definitions.
As an example of my point my OH loves oral from behind while stood up, I think it is called the butler position, this is sometimes used by dominatrix to dominate a sub. However I dont feel dominated or submissive doing it, its just a different position that she likes.
Thanks Lavelia point taken, clearly they are useful but maybe best not to get too hung up on over precise definitions.
As an example of my point my OH loves oral from behind while stood up, I think it is called the butler position, this is sometimes used by dominatrix to dominate a sub. However I dont feel dominated or submissive doing it, its just a different position that she likes.
I this case its not really about being Dom or sub. It is also about the whole context. Eg. following orders, punishment for disobeying, etc. When one partner has consensually power over the other, can be in bedroom only, but can also go into different parts of life. As far as both partners are happy and comfortable with.
I am not that much into that. And I am very very mildly into bondage, although there are hints of it in my sexuality.
And noone said to take the labels strictly. Just that they can be of some use for people.
I think it's totally normal to switch between sub and dom at times. Ususally I'm quite sub but every now and then I enjoy being a bit more dom for a while...... You need a bit of variety! Things can get too boring if you stick with the exact same thing all the time.