Chastity Play / Experiment

Sex Tips & Talk
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I had x2 cages arrive finally today, not ordered from LH as they weren’t available (:(), one a short open steel cage (45mm length), the other slightly longer at 58mm.

Have popped the short one on for wear during the day. Is surprisingly comfortable despite my penis being somewhat squashed into it. Its much lighter than the dominix cage and the ring is ergonomically shaped, not round which also fits really well against my body. I haven’t purposely tried to become aroused yet to see how it reacts / behaves under pressure.

Given Mrs Sen’s initial reaction to my dominix cage was “it looks so squashed” despite there being enough length in that cage for my flacid penis, I can only imagine her reaction to this one will be of concern given how short it is.

On the plus side, there’s less pressure / weight on my testicles and they are hanging somewhat more freely

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I have a short stainless steel cage with a body formed ring and my wife prefers that as she describes it as ‘armourial’.

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My apprehension on Mrs Sens reaction was spot on. I showed her when she got home, she immediately turned away with an “ewwwwww” reaction “don’t show me that”. Went and changed it to the longer one and that was much better received.

Wore the long one overnight. Felt quite different from my Dominix cage, could really feel the ring around my penis/balls, felt like it was hugging me, but I can still get a finger comfortably under the 45mm ring, so its not too tight. Minimal discomfort with the new cage, less than I am used to which I was pleased with. It was only with an early morning attempted erection (about 5am I think) that I really noticed any sort of ring burn.

Both cages are much lighter than the Dominix cage. Initially I liked the feeling of the weight of it, but now having a lite cage on, I can appreciate how much more comfortable a lite cage is, no pulling downwards on your junk.

Have on the short cage for the day today at work, but I also have the longer cage in my bag just incase it gets too much, we’ll see.

Mrs Sen did say she’ll happily help with testing the limits of the cage and arouse me :slight_smile:

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I didn’t want to start a new topic and this seemed a good fit, apologies if it’s in the wrong place. I’m looking for some advice, I’m new to the forum and have used a different account as me and my husband both use our main Lovehoney account for buying our goodies!

My husband wrote me a letter a week or so ago confessing his submissiveness and that he wants me to put him in chastity and even wants me to take the lead in our relationship. It obviously took him a lot to admit it all to me, but equally I’m a bit upset he’s felt he’s had to hold on to this desire for years.

We’ve spoken briefly since his long letter and he’s said he wants to give me some space and time to consider, he’s given me a few suggestions of books to read, one being “A Keyholder’s Guide to Male Chastity” but I’ve turned to google, but it’s a minefield, found a couple of fairly useful sites such as the guides on lockthecock.com and spoiledwife.net but beyond that, there seems to be a whole lot of information, porn and stuff that is obviously very male driven. I’m not some latex clad dominatrix nor do I want to be, anything else out there for your average woman who’s been sprung with this?

I’ve always been really open and willing to try new things, we’ve dabbled in me teasing him a little before but nothing like this and I’m worried it’s just not me and that I can’t do it. I’m really not bossy! So right now, I have this letter, a chastity device that looks pretty scary that he’s left with me and I’m confused and not sure what to do next. Help!!!

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285

Shywife
My wife was very wary when I first broached this to her and much of the literature she read didn’t help as it jumps straight in with the assumption that you have or want a full on sub/dom relationship.

Once we got started she realised that it was actually quite easy. The important thing to remember is that this is his idea/desire so you don’t need to feel guilty about refusing him an orgasm or keeping him caged for days. He will love it. The upside for you is that he will give you all the orgasms you need as a compensation for the one’s he’s not getting.

I would suggest that, once he is caged, you start off simply by physically teasing him throughout the day/evening to keep him on edge. During your sessions together make him give you orgasms or make him watch while you do it yourself. You can stimulate him through the cage or remove it and bring him close to orgasm but stop before it happens. PIV sex but not allowing me to come is a personal favourite of my wife’s. The longer you deny him the better it will be if and when you finally let him come. Personally I get as much if not more enjoyment from being stimulated and denied as I do from coming.

A lot of the literature focusses on punishment and we’re not into this at all.

As regards taking the lead in the relationship start off slowly. Once he is caged, simply take the lead in deciding what you want him to do to you or what you want do do to him. Once you start you will find it is nothing like as intimidating as it first seems. You can then progress as far and as fast as you are both comfortable with.

I would suggest that you have a look at all the posts in this topic as both me and Senator are just starting out on this too.

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286

Shywife

In answer to another area of your post I understand that you feel upset that he didn’t confide in you earlier. All I can say in his defence is that, even after 45 years of marriage, I found it very difficult to talk to my wife about this partially, I suppose, out of embarrassment but mostly because I didn’t want to suggest to her that our current sex life was in and way unsatisfactory or less than wonderful. It took a lot of thinking about the wording and even then she was a bit put out at first.

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Hi @Shy_Wife

A lot to unpack here. Rockstart has given you some solid advice, I would just add, go at your own pace, don’t let hm “top from the bottom” with demanding teasing sessions or releases etc.

How long is it normally between his releases? If its say 2-3 days, perhaps start by stretching that out to double the normal time.
You could set up some sort of ratio (in your mind), he’s not allowed to cum until youve achieved x orgasms?
You could make him earn releases in other ways (back rubs / massages, housework, cooking etc).

There really are no rules around chastity, it is up to each couple to create their own journey.

Mrs Sen was apprehensive about the device itself (and even moreso since I showed her the short cage) over concerns for the physical well-being of my penis, how it squashes into the cage, the ring pulls on the testicles when an erection forms etc. For the most part, they are pretty comfortable, only becoming uncomfortable when aroused (which is the point of them) and overnight when you don’t have any control over erections.

I’d suggest starting him off during daytime, he will take time to get used to wearing a cage, a few hours at a time, then perhaps during a working day, then all day / evening and finally overnight. If he does wear it in the evening, use this time to become familiar with how it looks on, how it feels to touch / hold him in it etc.

There is another forum, chastitymansion that has a dedicated area for females (the men can see but not post) and the ladies are very helpful as many of them have been in your shoes.

When reading out your post to Mrs Sen this morning, she simply said “you just bought it”, which I guess I did, but when I bought my first cage, I had no idea what path I/we would go down. Even now after 3 months or so, we are still learning.

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288

Senator

At the moment I’m shuffling between cages.

I’ve been trying shorter metal and plastic cages and their weight is more comfortable but I find that after a while my foreskin, which protrudes through the cage, gets sore through rubbing against my clothes whereas with the longer Dominix and longer plastic cages this doesn’t happen. The trouble with the longer cages is stowing them comfortably inside my clothing so that nothing gets crushed or strained when I sit down, kneel down or drive.
I’ll continue to search for the Holy Grail though.

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Speaking for myself and possibly a fair few submissive men, we did not start out this way. It kind of grew over many years.
Subconciously we look for something in our partners and then when we realise what it is, we pluck up the courage to ask for it.
If you feel under pressure, give him a couple of dice and tell him the number he throws is the time in days he will be caged.

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I’ve really been liking the new cages. I haven’t passed the keys over to Mrs Sen yet as I’m still experimenting with them.

Given she doesn’t particularly like the small cage (thats a bit of an understatement at this stage) I am swapping between the two. Wore the small cage all day yesterday at work, was really comfortable. Removed it early evening for a Dr visit, then put on the longer cage for night.

Night time is really good in the longer cage, the body shaped ring really helps reduce discomfort during the night. The short cage during the day is also really comfortable, almost forget its there. Doesn’t catch on pants, I don’t have to adjust myself to sit down etc.

Maybe over time, Mrs Sen will become accustomed to the short cage (she was squeamish at my original cage to begin with) but I’m not going to force it. If I have a daytime/night time scenario, then so be it.

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It’s so weird how comfortable the smaller cages are when you don’t think it they would be. All the squishing and being much smaller than a normal flacid size. But they fit just right. Well, not the one I reviewed on LH, but everything else has been on point.

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I’m using two cages at the moment. A plastic one for comfort but a metal one for sex. My wife much prefers the appearance of metal cages.

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Last night I fingered her to two orgasms then she clipped on my nipple clamps and stroked me through the cage gradually adding weights to my nipple chains. She wouldn’t let me come and when she decided I’d had enough she stopped and made me watch as she used the bullet to give herself another orgasm.

Another good night.

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294

:woozy_face: I think I’ve just died of envy.

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This morning she kept me caged but fitted me with a vibrating butt plug. She then edged us both by using a wand alternately on my cage and her clit. She had 3 orgasms and I had 0. It’s been a couple of weeks now so I’m particularly hyper. She’s only got herself to blame when I think about sex constantly.

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Changed out of my short cage to the long cage on Friday night as Mrs Sen still doesn’t like the appearance of the short cage. Saturday morning was all for her, there really is something wonderful about focussing solely on your partners pleasure, seeing her relax and work herself into an orgasm. I’ve also really taken to giving her oral straight after her first orgasm, she is so sensitive but equally it seems to really get into it and it really builds her into the second.

Uncaged for shaving and was instructed to remain that way for the weekend. I passed over a set of keys to the new cages.

Sunday was allowed PIV and orgasm, was very strong, a real toe clencher.

Put on the short cage after my shower and tried it with the 50mm ring, clearly too big as when I was mowing my lawn late morning, it fell off. Back to the 45.

Slept in the short cage last night, was really comfortable. In the Dominix cage and the longer of the new cages, a portion of my night time erection forms and then the cage kick is, the ring pulls at my scrotum causing ring burn, but also the weight of the cage pulls down on my attempted erection, bending downwards and causes discomfort. With the short cage, there was no erection formed in the cage itself, so didn’t get the same downward pressure. Was till up twice to pee, but that in itself isn’t unusual (especially after a few beers and a glass of wine in the evening).

She saw me in the small cage this morning, didn’t comment or acknowledge it either way. I’ve told her how comfortable it is, maybe she just needs time to adjust to it.

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2nd night in short cage, best nights sleep in a while, only up once for a pee, even this morning when the alarm went off, the cage was being pushed down a bit, but not hurting. The tip was breaking through bars at the end so it did look a bit weird, but no pain.

After shower Mrs Sen entered the bathroom and immediately went “ewwww” when she noticed the cage, told her it had been on for 2 days and was very comfy. She didn’t tell me to change it or go on, I’m hoping she learns to accept it. Its nice not having the weight or length of a cage pull down too much.

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I’m sure she will learn to appreciate the lack of you getting up in the night. It’s an odd side effect of the shorter cages, but very beneficial if you are up a lot from nocturnal erections while caged.

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Uncaged this morning for the first time in almost 3 weeks (I think). We-Vibe orgasms for her then oral for me and finally doggy style PIV for both of us. I couldn’t last long but my orgasm was absolutely staggering. Far and away the best one I have ever had. I went on for what felt like ages.

Back in the cage now though.

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Wednesday night, was given permission to remove the cage for sport and leave it off overnight for free willy time and shaving Thursday morning. When I removed the cage (3 1/2 days straight) I did notice quite a bit of moisture in the creases of my flaccid penis and quite a funky smell. Whilst I wash thoroughly with soap and rinse with the shower head, the way the short cage constricts even a flaccid penis seems to trap moisture.

At the request of Mrs Sen, put on the long cage to see how it would fare for a few days.

Thursday night, evening began with some teasing of Mrs Sen, massaging her bum/boobs and sneakily dropping my hand between her legs to stimulate her clit. We had a session just for her, oral and strap on, but she didn’t orgasm, was starting to feel sickly in her stomach. I think she just agreed to the session to please me, which isn’t something I want, I just told her if she wasn’t feeling well, she should have said.

Tried to sleep last night in the long cage, no dice. Just couldn’t get comfortable with the extra weight over the short cage so ended up swapping back at around 2-3am, problem solved almost instantly.

Took it off again this morning for proper cleaning / drying. Spoke to Mrs Sen about the dampness / smell issue I discovered the other day, she agreed that daily removal for proper cleaning / drying is necessary, last thing she wants is some sort of infection.

Mother nature has visited now (her first since July) so won’t be any release over the weekend. I’m hoping things are settled by Wednesday (end of September) as otherwise, we are giving Locktober a crack and if I don’t get a release before end of month, it will be a very long time