oh Mel i am worried about you
ill be fine hun, hopefully ill get some good tips out of the book ruth and carly sent me xx
sexymel88 wrote:
im trying my hardest, [...] although i did break my front door in the process of throwing him out yesterday
lol, that's trying pretty hard, I'd say! Trying hard to do what, is another question. :p I do appreciate your situation isn't funny, I do.
But I just had to laugh at the idea of yelling "Here, fix THIS!" at the other party, and breaking the front door by throwing him at it, lol. :)
Sorry. :p
Goodluck Sexymel.
TB
sexymel88 wrote:
ill be fine hun, hopefully ill get some good tips out of the book ruth and carly sent me xx
Is it possible your husband could read this book too, i don't know what book it is!?, but it needs the two of you to sort out the relationship and maybe if you could share something like a book the suggestions are coming from that and directed at the two of you so its less confrontational. Also do you have a support network around you, family, friends? You sound like you may be a little isolated and thats hard when you are bringing up a baby, i think thats where my marriage started to go wrong, as i had no family or friends around me and i think that puts more strain on your relationship. Hope you have a lovely weekend with your mum and good luck
Hi Sexymel, you know it's much easier to talk to strangers sometimes, so you know we're always here when you need us. I'm sure some of the lovely caring girls on here will be happy for you to give give them a phone call if you ever need a friendly chat, I'm suggesting women because I assume that's what you'd prefer...someone with a husband who can probably relate to you a bit more!
I'm obviously not an expert on the matter, but all I suggest is do pay attention to yourself, go back to being 18 again in the sense that dress yourself up a little bit, go out with your friends again do all the little things that you enjoy doing and that make you feel good. Just try and surround yourself with all the positives in your life and the things that make you happy, but be careful to make it not appear as though your trying to get back at your husband. That way it could spiral out of control. Just as long as it's for you with no ulterior motive, I'm sure it'll make improve the way you feel.
Hopefully your husband will realise that you're not dependant on him and start to appreciate you a bit more.
Hope everything gets better...and try and use Xmas and new year as a new start! x
Wishing you all the best Mel ... is joint Christmas shopping a possibilty???
TB
I won't pretend to know what u are going thru, but it sounds tough, i'm sorry.
Looks like u have 2 basic options.
1. End it, go find your dream guy or just be alone for a bit and let time heal...
2. Think of ways to get him interested again. Secretly act out one of his fantasies; buy some sexy panties; tie him up then tease him and give him head till he goes crazy; have him 'catch u' masturbating then let him have his way with u....
I know it's hard to tell whether he or she is worth it, when u are all caught up in the moment. But good luck, and believe in yourself!
sexymel88 wrote:
ill be fine hun, hopefully ill get some good tips out of the book ruth and carly sent me xx
Err.. open the door before you thrown him out maybe Mel !!
I can't even try to give solid advice, but I hope I'm not out of line by saying that if you weren't married I'd recommend leaving him for a bit even if you do just have a couple of weeks apart then go back. I'm not sure how easy that is in a marriage, but it helped me see the light in my last relationship. Things went weird, we agree to not see each other for a week or so and two days later I knew I couldn't be with him anymore. Obviously theres a lot more to think about in your case, but time apart might help.
Anyway- feel free to ignore me- I just wanted to lend my support. You deserve to be happy hon, whether thats making it work with the hubby or striking out again on your own.
Hi everone,
Thank you all again for your help, just to clarify, I broke the door by slamming it shut when he had gone back to work.
I though about what your saying Crayola but we spend enough time apart, I've not long since got him back from his course.
I am very isolated here, I have one very close mate who I tell everything to but to be honest I think she's getting fed up of hearing me go on about it, as I'm sure you all are!
I have started to read the book and I've told him there are chapters that seem to have been wrote just for us so I've told him I will point out the parts that I would like him to read, I will post a link to the book after I've wrote this!
I think we need time to ourselves, alone. I'm going to arrange a night of cinema/meal and get a babysitter as that could be one of the reasons why we're like this.
xx
sexymel88 wrote:
I am very isolated here, I have one very close mate who I tell everything to but to be honest I think she's getting fed up of hearing me go on about it, as I'm sure you all are!
Hi mel, i don't think anyone on here thinks like that and i am sure your friend doesn't either, everyone seems to be behind you all the way! You definately sound like you could do with the support so carry on venting as and when you need to! Hope you had a good weekend with your mum, think you are right about spending some alone time together, but you also need alone time for you too spoiling yourself. Its hard work being a mum at the best of times , and when you are isolated it makes it all that much harder!
Good Luck x
Hi Libby,
Thank you for your support hun, I think we did everything too young to be honest, I had my daughter at 16, married at 18, I do need time to myself and I have finally realised that. Shamefully, wherever I moved to I will be isolated, thats the way the army do it xxx
Do you know i can so relate to that i had my first son at 18 married a couple of years later, i had moved away from my family and friends (for other reasons had to get my head together) and when things started to go wrong i had noone to turn to! But then i actually think i would have left sooner if i had of had some support! All i can say is as long as you are both working at it then everything should be fine. I really do hope you get things back on track.
I have only really just started having me time, took a long time for me to realise i deserved it too!
x x
Yup I agree with this 'rant as much as you like on here'. You totally need to offload. It helps you address your situation and feel better so keep chatting to us and I hope things improve soon.
libby wrote:
Do you know i can so relate to that i had my first son at 18 married a couple of years later, i had moved away from my family and friends (for other reasons had to get my head together) and when things started to go wrong i had noone to turn to! But then i actually think i would have left sooner if i had of had some support! All i can say is as long as you are both working at it then everything should be fine. I really do hope you get things back on track.
I have only really just started having me time, took a long time for me to realise i deserved it too!
x x
I have been talking to him alot about it this weekend and I think he is realising that he has to start to work with me on it. I do feel supported to a certain extent, but in all honesty I feel more supported by all you lovely guys and gals than I do by all of my family.
xx
Thank you for the sound advice Ruth!! And I will put a review up soon for the book xx
sexymel88 wrote:
Hi Libby,
Thank you for your support hun,
Anytime hun, feel free to offload whenever you need to, i know whats its like!!(wish i had the LH forum then)
x x x
I think all of us on here being nosey buggers, combined with the fact that generally theres someone whos been through similar means that you'll always be supported no matter how often you rant. As long as you're willing to listen to us, we're more than willing to listen to you.