Hi everyone , newbie here
I was hoping to ask some advice if that’s ok?
I started chatting to a guy on instagram a few months back, I came across his page randomly and thought he was cute and we got chatting & flirting, well about a month and a half into chatting and me suggesting a meet up he confessed he had a girlfriend! (i had seen a photo of him with a girl on his page but it was from about a year ago and he rarely updates new photos so i figured it was an ex) I have to admit even though it’s nothing i’m proud of I was invested in him at this point and still wanted to meet (again i know it was wrong of me) so we continued to message for another few weeks then out of the blue he stopped responding, i messaged a few times and nothing but it says he read them, so i figured he wants to make it work with his gf which is totally fine and a sign i should move on anyway, find someone available! but the bit that’s really confusing me is he still watches all my instagram stories, like for weeks now, if i put up multiple ones a day he’ll watch multiple times and i don’t get it! surely if he’s not interested anymore or decided not to message me he would completely vanish off my page especially if he won’t reply to me, im just super confused, i aim to move on but i’m so confused by this that i’m feeling a bit stuck! i guess understanding the situation might help me move on but i’m very confused
Bah! The text messaging and instant messaging are only based on convenience. Talking to folks real time is where it’s at these days.
oh i agree and next time i’ll try meet someone in real life instead of online
Totally up for it.
I wouldn’t read too much into him watching your stories. He’s either trying to get you to keep messaging him (and stroking his ego) or he’s kinda into you but not enough to leave his gf. Either way, it’s not gonna end with you guys together
Sadly I have to agree with what other people have said. I find a lot of guys online who are in relationships just want you their as someone to talk to, to basically build their ego up. He is probably still
Looking at your stuff because he does fancy you but also wants to keep his home life in tact as he probably knows you will want to take it further in the future. He is also probably talking to a few others. I’ve met many of guys like that who have ghosted me then found out later their in relationships.
In future I would stay away from it as it’s not worth the drama or heart ache.
Thanks Deanna
your advice seems spot on and I’m ready to move on from the situation, I do just think the whole watching stories part is really weird because if I had decided I didn’t want to continue something with someone the last thing i’d be interested in is always looking at their stories, like what do you gain? wouldn’t it feel more frustrating, maybe is it a guy thing? just really confusing
Just block him then you won’t be confused any more. He’ll watch you like he’d check someone out on the street. He likes the attention you give him but he’s not going to leave his gf for you. If anything he’d cheat and is that the type of man you want? Someone who isn’t trustworthy?
Learn to ask sooner if they’re in a relationship, bc if you don’t ask, they won’t always tell.
It sounds to me as if he like the idea of having a ‘secret’ from his girlfriend but without any of the risk of an actual relationship
Wait a minute you are putting things on instagram that he is watching, isn’t that what it’s for? anyone can watch it, I think you are reading too much into it, he probably liked chatting to you but thought it was wrong so stopped chatting to you and now is using Instagram for what it’s for.
Being an oldie I don’ fully understand instagram etc but it does sound like he is wanting to keep checking up on you but at the same time continue with the girlfriend. I suspect if you posted a few things re new boyfriend of yours he would probably disappear. I probably thinks at the moment you are just waiting for hm.
I’ll leave my personal opinions out of this, but just to add to what others have said - I was given some good advice many moons ago: someone who is willing to cheat for you, will likely cheat on you.
Being someone who was played not so long ago, don’t be her, “that” woman. You’ll be everything, then you’ll be nothing. Mine was quick enough to want to tie me down (not literally, but also literally). He sent me gifts, told me how much he loved me and he would leave his wife for me, how he only married her because she was the only one who would have him (yeah, I know, MASSIVE red flag). Then, once his divorce came through, he moved on from me and treated me like I was nothing.
He started off great, then he started nitpicking me and putting me down because he was deeply insecure. He acted like I was crazy and like I was the one who was obsessed with him, even though he’d been sending me emails telling me how much he misses me, and how “amazing” I am. I was trying to move on from him, but he wouldn’t let me. I’ve now had to create a whole new email just so I can.
As others have said, he’s on instagram, so chances are good it’s an ego game. He could even be using you to bully his girlfriend and show her that other girls want him too. If he can do that to another girl, what’s to say he won’t do that to you?
Watching your videos could just be because he thinks you’re hot. I don’t know you or his preferences and so this is all speculation, but he could just find the fantasy of you hot, and that’s all it is, a fantasy. But you are real, and you may well have qualities that he won’t like. I did, and when I showed them I got criticised, mocked, put down, ghosted for weeks on end and blamed. Is that really what you want? You deserve better - much, much better.
Don’t fall for their tricks, realise your worth and focus on living your best life. I haven’t used Instagram in ages and it’s for a darn good reason. Good luck out there 
I’d think nothing of it as it’ll only cause you more confusion… clearly the facts are he is in a relationship so isn’t looking to leave his GF, he probably got talking with you and flirting cause it gave him a rush again of how it felt when dating but knows it’s wrong of him, hence why he’s stopped communicating with you but he watches your stories as a guilty pleasure knowing that your still there and how easily he could just message to start things up again.
The best advice I would probably give for you and your mental wellbeing is to focus on someone else who’s single and forget about him as anything he’ll give you will only be fantasy to play about with your heard strings. Chances are eventually he might message again to have a flirt and then ditch you once he’s had his fill 
Hmm stringing you along slightly…
Use your time wisely and move on… Let him chase you for a while
Do not let him chase you! Do not let him have any part of your energy, block him, do not be the girl that goes after someone elses partner to make yourself feel wanted. You’re the easy option, and thats not what you should want for yourself.
Maybe your instagram is a riveting, thrilling watch full of daring feats and risk or a portal to useful, educational information that makes him feel intellectual and educated beyond any level he thought he could comprehend?
Edit - i have zero idea what instagram is but know vaguely its some kind of online platform where the majority of people sharing random cak about their breakfast, gym workout or videos showing how great they are.