I am starting a new thread on this topic to get general feedback and advice here.
I have schedule a cosmetic procedure to fix my tummy area after pregnancy damage as I feel this has greatly affected my confidence and our sex life.
Curious if anyone else or your OH has had cosmetic procedures done and has that been postivie for you in this area.
I have not had such surgery, but as a HCA on a cancer ward I can say with all honesty that surgery to restor a persons apear ended to a level they are happy with can have huge benefits in terms of confidence positivity and happiness.
The most common is reconstructive breast surgery, giving a woman back her cleavage, it's East to see how this makes her more confident and happy.
I hope your surgery goes well. Make sure you take non perfumed shower gel and that you pack dresses to wear no waist bands for a week I would say. When is your scheduled?
Good luck.
I had my boobs done about 18 years ago, but I had them reduced!
I had 71/2 lbs in weight removed, They made my life a misery, the pain was unreal, I had constant backache and no sexy undies..........now I'm not tiny dd/e but so much happier
I feel if you want and/or need surgery then go for it! Personally, I'd like to get my nose done as I find it's a little on the chubby side but apart from that nothing else. I know people who've hd boob jobs, so e have loved the results, others haven't and got the procedure undone.
I hope your surgery goes smoothly & wish you a speedy recovery! ^_^ x
I'm in desperate need of a tummy tuck for my little apron (pooch) going on. My one and onlt pregnancy expanding my waistline to a whopping 68 inch!!! :(
Well, you know I have had a similar surgery in mid-July.
I did not need the muscle/hernia repair (as you know, my surgery was to remove excess skin I had ended up with after a 100+ lbs weight-loss - being an aging virgin, I have obviously never been pregnant; it is likely that should I ever have a baby I mind need yet another surgery...not a joyful prospect but I guess I would be willing to go through the ordeal again), so the healing has been a bit easier for me.
The only actual complication I had was that during the first post-op night I lost about 0.75 l of blood - I had drains in, and the nurses kept on coming to check on me, and to replace those plastic bottles that collected my blood. The anaesthesist decided against giving me a transfusion, though, saying that I was otherwise strong and reasonably healthy, and that my body should manage. (It is quite interesting to note that after this blood loss my resting heart rate skyrocketed from my usual 42-46 range to about 70 - this is apparently normal when you lose blood. Three months on and being allowed to exercise again, it has dropped to the 42-46 yet again.) Seeing I always have lowish blood pressure, I developed seriously low bp during that interesting post-op night, I had about 89/48 and I managed to faint in the bathroom. I am embarrassed to say that I came round moments later, lying with my head inches from the loo, and with my legs being held up (to help my blood to get back to my head) by a nurse. I kept on apologizing, feeling like a real idiot.
I got released on day three (my bleeding, mercifully enough, stopped on the second day post my surgery), having been provided with some antibiotics and painkillers (and I actually only took four of the painkiller pills - I am told that if you have your muscles repaired as well, the pain is a lot worse, though). I got a "fabulous" and sexy compression garment that felt like a turtle's carapace (and I wore it for full 8 weeks - it was ever so magnificent that we "enjoyed" a seriously hot summer; unsurprisingly enough, I bought a second carapace because it was necessary to wash and dry the garment(s) every other day). And I was told not to attempt any dieting at that point. Each evening, I had to spray the incisions (the long, hip-to-hip one, and te small one around my new navel) with a medical disinfectant. Over the course of the first week, I developed three small haematoma above my incision - I kept on applying a small amount of ointment on these areas, and they subsided nicely. No real problem there.
I had a first check-up on day 6 and everything was pretty much okay. I was a bit tired but that was to be expected, I suppose. The only other tiny complication I had was self-induced - fearing infection, I kept on scrubbing myself with bars of Dettol antibacterial soap and my skin went incredibly itchy and dry - it looked like a weird rash of sorts. Instead of harsh Dettol one, I bought a couple of bottles of liquid soap suitable for newborn babies and within three or four days, my skin went back to normal. My bit of advice - hygiene is a great thing (I am a bit of a hygiene freak) but do not overdo it.
I was not allowed to exercise for about 8 weeks but, mercifully enough, I was told to walk - within a week I was able to make 10,000 steps a day. Not wishing to put on extra weight (right after the surgery, I was actually 10 pounds heavier than I had been before, but it was mostly the immense swelling!), I kept on making a good, long walk every evening (I generally did 10-12 miles or so). The swelling kept on subsiding, though it still comes back a bit; I am told that even months after the surgery you can swell, particularly after a vigorous physical activity or after a very salty meal. It simply takes months until the nerves in your skin (particularly just above your incision) heal properly.
I have been using silicone strips over my scar - three months on, it has slightly faded, and it is much softer to touch. Sometimes it looks a bit lighter, sometimes a bit darker. The central bit is still a bit stiff (and I can hardly feel anything just above the middle part of the incision - this is, I am told, also normal). On my left hip, the edge of the scar is smooth, and it seems to be healing nicely. The right edge is, however, very slightly raised and there appears to be a tiny imperfection - the doc has told me that if this is still there one year post-op, he would do a very minor touch-up surgery (with just a local anaesthetic) to repair this tiny issue.
How do I feel? Mostly okay; there is that bit of numbness above the central part of my incision but it is nothing too awful; one can get used to it. Frankly, I am glad my pouch is gone (when I wear jeans, there is no horrible bulging in my lower tummy area, when I jog there is no disgusting bouncing, and there is no aful "under-pouch" build-up of sweat - these issues used to bother me immensely, and I am glad I am rid of these - the surgery was worth the discomfort and the money) but if I speak truly candidly, I kind of doubt it has made me more "sexy"; as far as I know, many guys find these scars incredibly off-putting, and, ehm, I also still have loads of stretch marks (as in LOADS, and all over my body). I feel much more comfortable when I exercise and I even look a bit better when I wear clothes (this is pretty amazing - and it is a reason why I would be willing to go through this ordeal again) but I still feel hideous when naked (my experience has taught me that no surgery can actually make me attractive); I know I am going to stay single for the rest of my life, and I am learning to live with it.
That is my experience in a nutshell - if you want any extra info on how I coped with this or that post-op discomfort, do not hesitate and ask away ;-)
(BTW - I am incredibly sleepy, this post is bound to be riddled with typos - I sincerely apologize for having made your eyes bleed. Actually, I hope it is all written in English - too tired to check, though, lol.)
I actually feel guilty spending this money on myself. I don't know why but I feel bad about it... but my partner told me my happiness is worth it.
Brionna... thank you, I appreciate all your input here. A big part of my surgery has to do with repairing the muscle seperation so I am scared by the pain factor but feel it should be worth it long term.
Brionna you really had some journey. X
I actually feel guilty spending this money on myself. I don't know why but I feel bad about it... but my partner told me my happiness is worth it.
Brionna... thank you, I appreciate all your input here. A big part of my surgery has to do with repairing the muscle seperation so I am scared by the pain factor but feel it should be worth it long term.
Do NOT feel guilty spending money on yourself. You have gone without things like luxuries and holidays to be able to aford the surgery. You spend your money on what you want, and the surgery is going to make you more posative for years to come.
Dont fear pain, it is your body telling you something is wrong. If you don't feel pain you do too much in most cases. It can be managed, there are a whole world of pain killers out there. But remember when you don't feel the pain it is still there telling you to take things slowly. You are going to be fine.
I've had my boobs done. Nothing major but I was flat Chested before so it made a massive difference to hoe I felt about myself.
I don't flaunt them or wear revealing clothes but I just feel happier in my self now :)
I actually feel guilty spending this money on myself. I don't know why but I feel bad about it... but my partner told me my happiness is worth it.
Brionna... thank you, I appreciate all your input here. A big part of my surgery has to do with repairing the muscle seperation so I am scared by the pain factor but feel it should be worth it long term.
You need to have the muscle separation repaired AND you feel guilty? I think you really shouldn't worry about spending money on yourself. Your partner is quite right!
Pain is not particularly enjoyable, and the necessity to take it easy for a couple of months is not gun, either - lifting anything that is heavier than about 12 pounds is out of question for rouhgly 4-6 weeks, and, during this period of time, you should not let your heart rate go above 100-105 bpm (on the other hand, you should walk; even during the very first days you should shuffle around your bedroom, even if you have to lean on someone for support - it may be embarrassing, I'll grant you that, but it is definitely better than developing blood clots), either - it might cause extra swelling and, in rare cases, even bleeding.
Thankfully, there is loads of painkiller pills available these days, and there is no shame in taking them for a week or two. I am absolutely certain you will manage just fine!
The muscle seperation is pretty bad / they are estimating 2 1/2 inches vertical and there is some issues around my csection area as well. OH is planning to be home with me the first few days until I am up to a solid shuffle. Thinking about some additional pillows for the bed since we do not have a recliner.
I told a good friend what I was doing and they thought I was joking and then told me how doing something like this is a huge waste of money and not worth the risk and I should just realize that I am a mom and get over the damage. Frankly I think it is hard for others who do not have this type of damange to completly understand that despite lots of working out and body fat reduction I can reattached my adbominal wall and fix loose skin.
I think that is wearing on me to most right now to realize a good friend is not supportive of my decision but maybe they are just jealous that I have the means to fix this. But this is a result of me saving up and making sacrifices in other areas to get this done... it is not like I am rolling in it.
Also, i cant seem to work up the courage to tell my parents. I think I will just tell them it is about muscle repair from c section and leave it at that. I dont really want them over here to see me during or the first few days after it.... but if I keep it from them they will be hurt.
Then you can truly "justify" this sort of surgery; a separation like this can actually keep on getting worse and worse (ironically enough, some forms of exercise can actually cause further damage - but I am sure you know it). In this case, there is definitely no other solution than a surgery.
Definitely get some extra pillows! And be prepared to stoop (you are likely to feel a bit foolish once you realize you have to walk like a very old lady but don't let this keep your spirit down, you will walk - almost - normally within a week or two).
I guess that you are right that your friend might be a bit jealous, plenty of people - even though they arre not truly "evil" or anything like that - are green with envy when they learn someone is going to have something (no matter if that something is a cosmetic surgery, high-end TV set, expensive handbag, or a vacation in the Caribbean) they personally cannot afford. It is kind of uncomfy to know that they cannot get over it but, well, there is not much you can do about it. (Just remember that there are some people out there who give you their wholehearted support and who hope your surgery will actually help you feel better. )
It is true that there is also a bit of risk. I actually know someone who has lost their little brother during a minor surgery (corrective surgery of an eyelid); it turned out the boy had an immensely rare allergy to anaesthetic (it is apparently some hereditary genetic disorder that runs in their family - for them, an injury that would require an emergency surgery during general anaesthesia means practically a death sentence *shudders in horror*), and he died on an operating room table... Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to insist that the clinic really runs all available blood tests (even extremely rare disorders like this are detectable). And I would only go to a clinic where you stay for a couple of days post-op (and where they actually keep on checking on you every hour); particularly during the first night, loads of stuff can happen - blood-loss (that happened to me, too, as I have already mentioned, though mercifully enough it was not that severe - current Czech Minister of the Interior, that is like a Home Secretary in the US, had a tummy tuck with hernia repair done a couple of years ago, and he was in a hospital where they did not keep on monitoring his body functions properly, he developed internal bleeding and lost 5 litres of blood - now that is scary!) or post-anaesthesia issues.
It is good not to be naive and to count possible problems into account - but do not overthink it! When you are in more or less good shape and when you go to a hospital with experienced and conscientious medical personnel, the risk is not THAT high (and when you think about it, driving is risky, getting on an airplane is risky... and so is getting out of the bathtub in your own house).
In my case, it was pretty obvious I had to tell my parents - seeing I do not have a partner or anyone else who would help me out during a time like this, it was pretty obvious I would have to recover at my parents'. And I had to ask my Mum to give me a bit of help, it was a little too difficult to clean the incision by myself. I do not really know what is your relationship with your parents like; if I assume it is kind of okay, I would tell them - but I would put emphasis on the fact that your wonderful OH will be taking care of you, and they do not really need to worry. When lying down, you will have a plenty of time to call them.
I have a good relationship with them but something like this is not something my mother would ever understand and I know she will judge me for spending money on myself in this way.
Thanks for your thoughtful replies and support Brionna. I know I wont be "perfect" and there will be a large scar but I would just like my clothing to fit properly and be in properotion of the rest of my body. I think I have realistic expectations.
I had a multinodular goitre (enlarged thyroid) for at least three years. I found it unsightly, didn't like not being able to wear button up shirts (it bulged out so I couldn't do up the buttons), hated how it felt and hated people asking questions about it. In the eyes of the endocrinology team, it was just a cosmetic issue but to me it was a big deal. I hated having to look in the mirror and see the weird bulge, and it made my neck a completely different shape. As it increased in size, I became more and more unhappy about it.
After breaking down in tears in one of my appointments, the endocrinologist agreed for me to see a surgeon to discuss possibly having it removed for cosmetic reasons. As it happened, during the tests to prepare for surgery we discovered it was actually compressing my oesophagus and was much larger than they had previously thought (I had complained about compression symptoms but I was made to feel like it was in my head). This meant surgery was now indicated for physical health reasons and, even if I had chosen not to go through with it immediately, at some point in the future I would have had to as it was continuing to grow (and the surgery would have been more complicated if I waited).
I had my thyroid removed in August. Although the main purpose according to the NHS was to reduce compression symptoms (I can now swallow food without it getting stuck!), the biggest positive for me has been cosmetic. My neck is now a much nicer shape and my posture has improved because I am not hunching over to try remove the pressure on my trachea. I do now have a scar across my neck (just under 2.5") but it is much better than a goitre and will fade.
If I'd had all the tests and they had said it was purely cosmetic, I would probably still have had it done because I hated how it looked and felt so much. I probably would have thought about it for a lot longer though because it was a three hour operation on my neck (I am so glad I didn't look up the details of what they did until after 😟) and there are risks (some serious and permanent, although rare).
When it was just cosmetic a lot of people told me not to do it. I guess to someone who isn't personally affected by it they don't know how distressing something which is "just cosmetic" can be and the risks seem unnecessary.
My recovery has been far slower than I expected (with no thyroid, my thyroxine levels crashed and even now I'm on a higher dose of thryoxine, I'm still very hypothyroid) but I'm hopeful that in the next couple of months things will level out. I don't regret having it done at all 😊
I also really hate my face (especially my nose) but for some reason I wouldn't have surgery on my face. Perhaps because it has always been that way or because people don't ask why you are ugly but they do ask why you have a weird lumpy neck? I don't know. I've kind of come to terms with being strange looking.
Sorry for the ramble...basically what I am saying is that if it is affecting your life and happiness then that is a good reason to have it done. Your mental health and happiness are just as important as your physical health.
thank you friday13 for sharing your story here and thank you for your support. It is so hard to explain because not all women have this type of afteraffects of pregnancy and I swear if one more person asks me why I cant loose the baby weight I will scream. This is not about weight loss, I actually weight LESS now than when i got pregnant, it is about this awful buldge of muscle seperation in my mid torso and the extra skin...
^I hear you on the "helpful" people!
"I think you got this because you don't eat meat" (thank you Dr Grandma 😝)
"I read an article that says it is caused by iodine deficiency. You should eat more iodine and it will go away." (Thanks Dr Dad but my actual doctor told me not to and that it is likely genetic because of my age and how fast it grew).
You've obviously thought about this a lot. You've gone without things to save up for surgery so it is clear it is important to you. Your husband supports your decision and wants you to be happy. Yes, in an ideal world we'd all be totally happy with our bodies, whatever they looked like but as nice as that would be, it isn't easy. You have the option of doing something to make you feel more confident and happy. You aren't going under the knife for a full makeover that will leave you unrecognisable, you are just repairing some of the damage childbirth caused. I find it hard to understand why anyone would have anything negative to say about your decision unless the risks of surgery were huge.
To suggest you should accept it as part of becoming a mother is ridiculous. Pregnancy and birth (vaginal or section) are traumatic to the body, and it's alarming how many women don't know what can happen long term to their body as a result because too much of it isn't talked about enough until after it's happened. Be it muscle separation, prolapse, incontinence etc, it is an injury, and there is no shame or selfishness in getting those injuries fixed. If you broke your leg in a car accident you wouldn't feel selfish or that it was a vanity decision to get it fixed, and people would be totally understanding, birth injuries shouldn't be viewed any differently.
Mrs TB149 had a boob job. I didn't have an issue with what she had, in fact I loved her boobs but she had come to hate them. To be fair they had sagged a bit and having children and breast feeding does them no good.
Anyway, she had them lifted and small implants too, which took her to a 34E (she was a 34DD already) and she loves them! She has a lot more body confidence as a result and for me that's a bigger benifit to our relationship than the fact she now has amazing boobs!
Good luck with whatever you decide but I don't think you'd regret it.
VirginAngel, thank you.... very good point made. some women don't have these issues but many do and to be told just to "get over it" when it affect you everyday is usually from someone whose body didn't respond like mine did.
OH says over and over he will also benefit and yes he will because I wil feel more confident after i heal.