I'm after some advice on products or techniques for staying power. ( I have tried the Taurus spray but just feel that I struggle to maintain an erection)
I'm trying to rekindle my sex life with my wife but I have become very conscious that I do not last very long and am getting myself worked up about it.
Any advice greatly appreciated
Have you tried cockrings? They may help
I find masturbating a couple of Times two and one hour before sex helps but that's if you now sex is on the cards
Good luck
Cock rings! That is my best advice. There are so many to choose from. We like the ties for increasing time. Have you spoken to you wife about it?
Rosycheek, could you explain what you mean by the 'ties'.
I would like some help in this area myself 
Sorry if I'm hijacking the thread.
Of course, ones I mentioned are like these:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28652
This one is currently on offer.
What we love about them is you slide the toggle to a perfect fit and its easy to take off too. We have several cock rings now, we can't get enough! We have metal ones, disposable ones, vibrating ones, plether ones... But out favourites are the adjustable ones. They can be super discreet and don't do anything fancy except keep your erection. There are no bells or whistles, just make you last that little bit longer and allow you to keep going after climax
If all else fails try condoms to desensatise your penis.
Thank you all for your help and tips.
We have spoken and she says it doesn't affect anything, it's more a personal concern at the moment
To re-iterate what others have said - a cock ring works well. I know the issue you're worried about - and understand how it nags away at the back of your mind - and the worrying makes it worse.
I was a bit sceptical about cock rings (but now have a variety) but they do work. Additionally as confidence returns, you might find the problem goes away - so you end up using the ring for fun and not out of necessity.
Never tried ties - but might now in the light of RosyCheek's comment above.
On a different tack...foreplay...foreplay...foreplay...so that when the moment arrives there may be less need to last ages to give your partner her ultimate pleasure.
I find cockrings are good for making me last longer as it numbs me. Another method I use is masturbating close to the point of cumming then stopping and repeating a few times.
I know it can be disheartening but keep going.
As Reg90 suggest, you might want to try 'edging' when masturbating. Get right to the edge, then stop and take your hand away altogether for a few seconds. As you get practiced, try to get as close to the 'point of no return' as possible.
Obviously ejaculation during sex is a very different matter, but 'edging' can still help you increase control over your timing. (If you manage to 'edge' for an hour or more, you may also have the best solo orgasm of your life, so that's a bonus!)
Lots of great advice on here from the forum members.
From your last comment did you mean your OH is not concerned that you don't last long ? If that's the case just try to relax its not a issue between you. I'm not sure what age you are, but as you age things do slow down. Back in my 20s I'm pretty sure I didn't last that long, but on occasions now I feel my Wife's impatience 😃
I would try to focus less on yourself and focus on your OH. If you spend time on foreplay and bring her to orgasm first, no need for PIV, then she will be happy no matter how long you take when you do penetrate her.
My oh dosen't always last too long once hes inside me. He always makes a point of using his tongue, fingers and toys both anally and vaginally during loads of foreplay. I have usually had at least half a dozen orgasms by the time he actually enters me by which time I'm so sensitive that I orgasm again almost immediately. Sex is not all about how long you can 'last' its about making it enjoyable for both of you. And please.....dont worry...you'll make things worse and you wont be able to enjoy yourself if you're worrying. The advice regarding cock rings, edging etc is brilliant. Your wife clearly isn't concerned....just concentrate on having fun together xx
1 Like
I've had this problem a few times, especially with new partners. I've found Durex Performa condoms worked well, as did Extra Safe (because they're quite thick). When the circumstances allowed, I could also withdraw and quickly remove the condom when the time was right and then could re-enter and cum inside my partner, the condom having done its job of stopping me firing too soon. Hope this helps.
One lovely way for you both to relax during penetration is to try this. This usually works best after all the foreplay and your OH has had 1, or a few, orgasms. Get her to lie belly down flat on the bed and for her to get comfy. You can use massage oil or as my Wife prefers a gentle scratch/stroke on her back whilst entering from behind. Straddle her with your legs to each side so it frees your arms and hands. Your OH may need to guide you in for penetration as the angle is not terrific, but that is part of the plan as you will not be able to thrust much at all, just gentle rocking. Now distract yourself by making sure your OH is getting fully relaxed giving her a massage or a rub. Really focus on your OHs relaxation and pleasure and just enjoy the gentle sensations you will be getting. My Wife flexes her PC muscles sometimes rather than having any motion, this is a nice gentle feeling. I'm sure I'm not alone as a man in taking pleasure not from the ejaculation and orgasm, but the pleasure of such intimate physical closeness to the one I love. If you manage to last longer and your OH is nearly asleep, yep this can be a real problem, then just stretch your legs backwards using your arms to stabilise you can transition to thrust pretty well to "finish off". For me this position feels animalistic, primitive, and at this point my Wife is just ready to get to sleep so lasting is really no concern at all. I think this technique is called a "three handed" massage. Anyway I hope this idea may work for you. PS your legs can get a bit cramped, but somehow you will not notice this till after you have orgasmed, I think being aroused must act as a painkiller, probably all those endorphins and adrenaline 😀
I use the one RosyCheeks mentioned. I have to tighten it up just prior to cumming and it does hold it back but you can only do it so often and then boy stand back as the discharge will knock you over !
I'd don't think I'd last long if I was your husband looking at your photos Terri jj
3 handed massage, love it! Must try this :)More Sexy at 50 wrote:
One lovely way for you both to relax during penetration is to try this. This usually works best after all the foreplay and your OH has had 1, or a few, orgasms. Get her to lie belly down flat on the bed and for her to get comfy. You can use massage oil or as my Wife prefers a gentle scratch/stroke on her back whilst entering from behind. Straddle her with your legs to each side so it frees your arms and hands. Your OH may need to guide you in for penetration as the angle is not terrific, but that is part of the plan as you will not be able to thrust much at all, just gentle rocking. Now distract yourself by making sure your OH is getting fully relaxed giving her a massage or a rub. Really focus on your OHs relaxation and pleasure and just enjoy the gentle sensations you will be getting. My Wife flexes her PC muscles sometimes rather than having any motion, this is a nice gentle feeling. I'm sure I'm not alone as a man in taking pleasure not from the ejaculation and orgasm, but the pleasure of such intimate physical closeness to the one I love. If you manage to last longer and your OH is nearly asleep, yep this can be a real problem, then just stretch your legs backwards using your arms to stabilise you can transition to thrust pretty well to "finish off". For me this position feels animalistic, primitive, and at this point my Wife is just ready to get to sleep so lasting is really no concern at all. I think this technique is called a "three handed" massage. Anyway I hope this idea may work for you. PS your legs can get a bit cramped, but somehow you will not notice this till after you have orgasmed, I think being aroused must act as a painkiller, probably all those endorphins and adrenaline 😀
Thanks Sex Squid, great forum name by the way. Up to now I've not been able to give much sex advice as me and OH are very vanilla compared to most on the LH forum. At my age I'd like to experience more adventurous sex with my OH. We are talking about sex now at least and slowly opening up to new things, I've found the forum to be a great place for help, advice and very supportive.