Ok, so I've been thinking about this a lot recently, what with finally feeling confident enough to re-start my sexlife after the split with my Husband...
I was unfortuantely the victim of (close friends have described as pretty horrific) domestic violence when I was younger, this has left me with various scars on my body, which I am very self-conscious about. I recently slep with a guy who had described me as perfect, incredible, etc. etc.
I didn't tell him about the scars, as friends I've shown have told me they are not as noticable as I think, however he has since stopped telling me I'm amazing, perfect, and all the rest of it...can't help thinking it was the scarring.
So opinions please, should I have told him? Has anyone had a similar experience? And of course does anyone know an effective treatment for scarring?
I once slept with a chinese girl who had horrific scars on her back, dunno what it was all about but it didnt make any difference to me she didnt speak english so couldnt explain and I was more interested in other things lol. I have a good few scars myself I never thought of telling anyone. Shouldnt make any difference.
I think many guys stop giving over the top compliments when the relationship becomes steady
its a presonal choice to you as to weather youd of felt comfortable discussing why you have them id try not to worry yourself hun
i have 2 noticable scars just below my chest an i was worried about them when i first got with my oh id told him beforehand about them an he never cared an still doesnt
as for treatments have you tried bio oil its pretty good
I think scars can be beautiful and they tell a story too.
I had an ex who was covered in scars from self harm when she was younger. They were very noticeable but never stood out to me. I loved her and loved her body, including every single scar.
Be proud of your scars as everything you have gone through has made you who you are today
It really is down to you whether or not you tell him, athough personally speaking if I was the chap in question I think I'd want to know. It's all really down to you & whether you're comfortable talking about it.
I agree with gunther about most men stopping giving as many compliments when a relationship becomes settled. It certainly doesn't mean that he no longer thinks you're perfect & incredible, it's just that he doesn't feel the need to say it as much.
My ex was covered in scars & I was always so curious about them. Once I realised he didn't mind talking about them, I'd often say 'how'd you get this one?' or 'what was this?' & it seemed to make us closer, a sort of bonding thing. It's totally up to you whether you talk to him about it or not but I think he would definitely appreciate your honesty & it could really benefit your relationship.
I agree with what both gunther & afraid have said, I wouldn't worry to much about the fact he's eased up on the compliments. It probably just means that he's secure that he's got you now &, with it sounding terrible, doesn't have to try so hard anymore.
I don't think I'd describe it as secure, I haven't seen him since (but with reason), and I seem to have to initiate any conversation between, which is very friendly but in no way sexual...whereas before we slept together it often was. There was also a lot of picture swapping which has stopped totally on his part.
I may be totally wrong it could be something else causing a problem, he may not have even noticed them...but he won't give me a straight answer, and I wanted some views on the whole scarring issue anyway.
Thanks for your experiences, and views, please keep them coming...and yes I've tried bio oil it works a bit...but its bloody expensive, lol!
I think scars can be beautiful and they tell a story too.
I had an ex who was covered in scars from self harm when she was younger. They were very noticeable but never stood out to me. I loved her and loved her body, including every single scar.
Be proud of your scars as everything you have gone through has made you who you are today
luckylesbo so true
i have scars on my face from a dog bite when i was four i wouldnt get rid of them
I just pretty much don't draw attention to them, and thus no one else does too..I have enough noticable ones but in 9 years of being at work wearing short sleeve polo shirts no one has mentioned them. A bit like Jeremy Beadle had one hand smaller than the other but he always said not many people noticed because he just didn't draw attention to it. I'm not saying hide them or owt, just think of them as part of you
I just pretty much don't draw attention to them, and thus no one else does too..I have enough noticable ones but in 9 years of being at work wearing short sleeve polo shirts no one has mentioned them. A bit like Jeremy Beadle had one hand smaller than the other but he always said not many people noticed because he just didn't draw attention to it. I'm not saying hide them or owt, just think of them as part of you
That's what the friends I have shown them have said to be fair, I think the problem is I know they're there and so I notice them all the time (every picture put on here is carefully scrutinised to make sure you can't see them, lol!) even if other people don't
it doesnot matter what enyone else is saying as you still feel the way you feel about them. Yes oils will help them fade but i think you need to work it out for your self. Trust your friends, thay sound like that are telling you the truth. A freind of mine is working on a councilling dagree while she is nursing, she said that takeing some time out for your self and look at your self in the mirror and say that , you look good ( or something that you find works ) do this every day just a cople of mins aday or every 2 days until you are more confortable.
it will take time until your comfortable will your self and you never now it may inprove thing in you realshionships. (sorry about spellings iv not slep in 23 hour so i going to bed ) bye.