HI everyone, need a bit of relationship advice...
I've been with my partner now for over 4 years. We have never had a great deal of sex, however for the last year or so, I've found myself becoming unattracted to him. I've recently lost weight and am becoming more body confident, so I believe that possibly could have something to do with it. I'm so horny! I'm in love with him, just not physically. I hope this makes sense
Please help!
TIA x
It does make sense you have to do what you need for you first if your not attracted to him in a physical way then just take it for what it is at the mo and see if it changes or not , I think most couples go through this phase. A bit of self pleasure nay keep you occupied.💋
Do you want to be in love with him physically or do you think that will never happen?
Is your lack of physical attraction down solely to his appearance, which you believe could be improved as you are trying to do with your own, or due to the boredom of familiarity and the need for something new?
Gazza 64 wrote:
It does make sense you have to do what you need for you first if your not attracted to him in a physical way then just take it for what it is at the mo and see if it changes or not , I think most couples go through this phase. A bit of self pleasure nay keep you occupied.💋
Thank you :-)
MaD_Couple wrote:
Do you want to be in love with him physically or do you think that will never happen?
Is your lack of physical attraction down solely to his appearance, which you believe could be improved as you are trying to do with your own, or due to the boredom of familiarity and the need for something new?
I don't believe that will ever happen. To be honest, I wasn't that attracted to him in the 1st place, but looks weren't important to me then (I think it was because back then, I wasn't very body confident myself)
He's already told me he's not willing to change his appearence (ie go on a diet)
Then you have to fo whats best for yourself hun 😘 he doesn’t sound like he is being very thoughtful towards your needs and if you are looking after yourself then keep doing whats best for you, 1 way or the other it will work itself out good look again btw only my opinion 💋
Thank you very much 😙Gazza 64 wrote:
Then you have to fo whats best for yourself hun 😘 he doesn’t sound like he is being very thoughtful towards your needs and if you are looking after yourself then keep doing whats best for you, 1 way or the other it will work itself out good look again btw only my opinion 💋
Licious27 wrote:
I don't believe that will ever happen. To be honest, I wasn't that attracted to him in the 1st place, but looks weren't important to me then (I think it was because back then, I wasn't very body confident myself)
He's already told me he's not willing to change his appearence (ie go on a diet)
Hate to say it but this doesn't sound like much of a choice to me.
If he doesn't make you happy and is unwilling to make any concessions in your relationship it sounds like there isn't really a relationship there at all. It's more like a bloke who feels like he doesn't have to make any effort at all because you are already his.
That kind of attitude is going to lessen the body confidence you have clearly worked so hard to achieve. I think you already know what you have to do so I would say go for it.
There are many men who would appreciate the effort you have gone to and want to keep you happy by helping you grow together as a couple.
You may also be doing him a favour by jolting him out of the rut he is in.
no worries licious27 maybe you just reached a point jn life and its all upto you 💋
Hmmm Is there anything about you like besides his outer appearance? Is he funny, caring and loving? To me having a awesome personality, be loving etc trumps physical appearance. Maybe focus on the positive aspects about him, not so much outer appearance. Someone can be unattractive on the outside but can have a good heart, someone could be attractive on the outside and be completely vile and nasty on the inside. But unfortunately it’s his choice if he wants to loose weight. He may feel you aren’t accepting him for him, looks and all.
Kicking him to the kerb because you now think you're more attractive than him seems a bit harsh. I think you'd be very upset if your positions were reversed.
If you're having second thoughts about your relationship then talk to him about it sensitively, but if he's happy with his appearance then he doesn't have to change if he doesn't want to. I'd say that relationships are about far more than how pretty you are, or how thin, but it's up to you to decide if this one has run its course or not.
I second what Ian said, just because you have improved your appearance, hasn't changed the personality of your OH. Appearances are superficial at the end of the day.
Didn’t see kicking you the curb comment and agree with above, seems harsh. Good that you improved YOU. But looks aren’t everything, being shallow is also unattractive. Imagine if it was other way around? Sometimes we have to look and evaluate from other persons perspective also.