My recent thread has been removed. I completely understand why (age at which the incident happened and grafic content).
I just wanted to say a huge thank you to all who offered supportive and encouraging words. However, if anything I now feel worse. I'd planned to show oh the thread and your responses. He's not good at emotional stuff and I had hoped that if he could read your responses he'd maybe realise just how much something like that affects people and how I'm finding it so difficult. I've missed my chance and I know that I'll never be able to tell him to his face.
I'm hanging on to the fact that maybe posting all of it will be able to help someone else xxx
I can understand why it was removed, but it might be worth getting in touch through 'Livechat' and asking if the mods actually keep a copy of threads - they may be able to e-mail it to you? Just a thought xxx
You're a strong strong strong lady! And I'm sorry it got removed. I and apparently many other people in the forums have been through the same type of experiences. And we all love you. And if one day you do decide you can tell your OH he will love you just as much as he does everyday! Always here for you Terri!
I empathise with you Terri .I take it you didn't get chance to print it off before it got removed ?
Why don't you contact Love honey and see if you can reword it . Instead of quoting your age state "In my younger days" and perhaps less graphic.
I am sure they would understand that its needed as part of your healing process.
As an idea draft them a version by E Mail first and let them edit it .
Another virtual man hug coming your way
Scorpius12 wrote:
I can understand why it was removed, but it might be worth getting in touch through 'Livechat' and asking if the mods actually keep a copy of threads - they may be able to e-mail it to you? Just a thought xxx
Totally agree with Scorps. You need this as part of your healing process. You were brave enough to broadcast your trauma. You did what your therapist recommended . I'm sure Lovehoney will be sympathetic. These forums are for support after all. Good luck. X
Had just finished reading the thread when it was removed, so didn't get a chance to respond there. Virtual hug to you Terri, and to everyone else. Brave and strong.
Because I'd just finished reading it, I have page 2 still open in another browser tab. If you'd like a copy/paste of it I am happy to provide.
Sorry i missed your thread hun.someday youll find the courage maybe show him this thread to get communication flowing?.chin up sweety your powerful wonderful woman .i kniw talking bout something hurtful is hard but we all kniw u can do it and behind you and hete to help the heing xxx hope your ok hun xx
Thank you to you all. I've contacted Lovehoney and they are willing to email me my original post so that I can amend it - but I've said no. It's taken me several attempts to be able to bring myself to put what happened on here and it's just made me feel worse now. I'll just leave it be xx
Terri you were so brave to start that thread. I believe that you got some brilliant advice from forum members.
Also your story inspired alot of us members to detail our bad experiences. I'd never of dreamed of writing/talking on forum or to anybody until I saw your bravery. So a big thank you for helping me and I'm sure the other posters feel the same.
Sending you big virtual hugs xxx
Oh I'm sorry Terri :( I can understand why it was removed, but also I'm surprised the mods didn't just edit your post to take the age part out of it. Unless someone reported it, who knows. :/
I am sorry that you feel worse Hun, but I still think you've done a really good thing. You saw how many people came forward after you spoke out, some even said it prompted them to talk to their kids about stranger danger. You helped a lot of people out, and did a brave thing. I think it might be good for you to talk to your OH or take live chat up on their offer, even if initially it feels worse, in the long run it will probably help tremendously.
You've got to do whatever feels comfortable for you though, and go at your own pace. I hope you're feeling a bit better soon for having spoken out xxx
Hi Terri, I didn't see what happened, but I hope that all will go well for you - it sounds like you've done a very brave thing and I hope you have the answers you wanted :)
All the best! x
Only you know what is best for you Terri. Whatever your decision I hope you find peace. X
Hey Terri
I still have access to the original thread. I'd be happy to copy and paste/screenshot the post and replies to you over email?
x
Terri JJ wrote:
Thank you to you all. I've contacted Lovehoney and they are willing to email me my original post so that I can amend it - but I've said no. It's taken me several attempts to be able to bring myself to put what happened on here and it's just made me feel worse now. I'll just leave it be xx
I would still get a copy emailed over even if you don't want to reword/repost, it took a lot for you to write it all down so having a copy means you won't have to do that again. It would mean you could put it away somewhere on your PC and have it sitting ready to show your OH or anyone else if/when you summon the courage to do so, you wouldn't have to sum up double the courage to write it again and show them. If that makes sense?
I guess what I'm saying is you did well to get it all out so don't let that go to waste, get a copy and then you can take it from that point rather than having to start all over again. You don't have to do anything with it now, it just gives you the option to in the future.
Terri,
I would encourage you to keep a copy in your email. You may not feel strong enough today to do anything with it, but you can retain it for future to possibly share with OH or even you therapist or others.
Something I did once when I had a lot of anger towards a "situation" was writing a letter to that "person" and I read it out loud in a park setting, tore it up and burned it. You may find something like that healing as well.
You are a beautiful woman inside and out, dont forget that.
Thank you very much, all of you :)
I have a copy of the original thread and all of your replies. I'm going to have to take a few days to decide what to do but I'm hoping I can find the strength to show it all to oh and maybe my sister too - we are very close.
I don't feel so alone anymore - hope that makes sense. I can honestly say that I never imagined that I would ever even consider telling anyone, but you have all helped me to do that :) I think I'm going to maybe let them read it though - don't think I can actually tell anyone to their face.
PS - If I'd know I was going to get so many 'manly hugs' I would have posted it a lot sooner ;) ! xx
This is an amazing forum full of very sincere and very lovely people ! X
Terri,
I am so glad you have a copy retained to hopefully help you in your recovery process. You may find, especially with your sister, that she has known something was wrong all these years and just didn't know how to help or reach you hon. Don't feel pressure from any of us on what is best to do next, only you (and hopefully your therapist is continuing to help) know when you are ready to address it with others.
For you and the others who posted on that thread that they were also victims I pray for healing and peace for every precious one of you ladies. For those ladies who have not sought theraphy for this type of thing I would encourage you to seek it out if you can.
Oh sweetheart you are so strong! I'm so amazed that you took time to say thank you :)
If you have twitter add me on mbe92_ and we can chat about my current theraphy for rape and sexual assult. I can hopefully help you a little as well :)
Sending love to you sweetheart. You can get though this and i know its hard. Like i know for a fact i still have broken days...the other day a screamed at some poor guy on the bus because he sat next to me and was wearing the same aftershave that my attacker did. I cried so much although thankfully he understood and said it was ok. But i get it. I know you will get over this.
The only problem is like ive been learning recently you need to really address what happened and go into depth with it before you can start to heal. Im here for you every step x
Terri...you have made a huge step in healing yourself...and set in place a chance for others to also share and come to terms with a difficult part in your lives.
Take the emailed copy of the thread..and take it to your sessions...and take courage that you made a massive declaration.
Try your sister with it afterwards... You can get through this.
In where I came from...it was Domestic abuse and escalating violence... The thing we were all reminded of... We are survivors... And as a consequence.. We are stronger for going through what has happened.
You get steel only by putting iron back into the fire... It needs to be hot to get more strength.
Take that strength forward and feel proud of all you have a hieved Vince then.
Xx