I've never been able to experience an orgasm, either on my own or with my partners assistance! we have AMAZING sex and i still thoroughly enjoy it but I find it hard with me not really having an 'end point' and my partner feels this too. Anyone else experience this?
I've never managed to orgasm with my partner and we've been together for over 10 years. I pretty much just accepted that I can't do it. I'm still hoping I can do it with the help of my toys, though.
I could only orgasm by myself with my own hands but then I started using toys out of curiousity a few months ago. I couldn't climax at first but the more I relaxed and got used to them, the easier it became to reach orgasm. It's all about taking the time on yourself to see what works for you. You don't have to go in all "gung ho" trying to make yourself orgasm straight away. Thinking about it too much will only make it less likely to happen, I feel.
It sounds like you are enjoying the sex but you just need that extra nudge to knock you over the edge. Have you tried using toys to assist you? If so, what type? Eveyone is different and responds to different kinds of stimulation. Many women cannot climax from penetration alone and so need clitoral stimulation, too (like me).
Afternoon and welcome. When you have masturbated have you used fingers or toys? If you have never used a toy, that is something that might be worth exploring on your own to work out what works best for you (I believe LH have guides to help you to make an informed choice with this). If that does the trick for you, then you could in time introduce toys (in a variety of forms) into your sex sessions with your partner if he would be ok with this.
Best of luck.
Hey Sirsbrat and welcome, it’s a hugely common thing to struggle for all genders when it comes to sex with a partner. Even if you love them to bits and they hit all the right spots it seems frustration and worry and guilt and other stresses seem to stop us from going over that final hurdle. We’ve all had that moment when someone is between your legs and it feels amazing and then you start to think “I’m taking forever” and then it just seems like you can’t even focus on the orgasm. This is one of the biggest problems when it comes to actually reaching that big O. Try and not think of that as the end point, the more you focus on it the more frustrated you will be when it takes a little longer than expected. So try and relax and enjoy the moment. Have you tried sexy talk? Like using pet names or possibly acting out a few fantasies?. Some people need an extra push physically so either using your hand on yourself while your partner penetrates or using a clit vibe such as a bullet or wand, also using a butt plug can tighten things up and feel incredible if you have tried a bit of bum play before. Other things you can try is your partner doing some groundwork before you get into the action, let him kiss and touch you and build you up before spending some time between your thighs and getting you all flustered with his mouth and fingers, once your really hot and bothered then go for the final hurdle fast and hard or slow and deep whichever works for you. Positioning is also hugely important, one position which a lot of people love is the flat iron where you basically lay flat on your tummy and arch your butt up a little, let your partner enter you from behind and keep your legs closed. This tightens everything up and feels deep, it also hits the front wall which will stimulate your Gspot. One other hugely important thing is communication, talk to your partner about what you like and don’t like. If he says something which is distracting or doesn’t have the right rhythm then let him know. I know it can be daunting to tell someone that you want it faster or whatever but once your teaching the big Os he will feel just as satisfied as you. Communication is key!
My ex struggled with orgasms from time to time and she found as LIL KNOWN 69 said that a bit of anal play helped, so if you enjoy anal actives then it’s worth a shot
LIL_KNOWN69 wrote:
Hey Sirsbrat and welcome, it’s a hugely common thing to struggle for all genders when it comes to sex with a partner. Even if you love them to bits and they hit all the right spots it seems frustration and worry and guilt and other stresses seem to stop us from going over that final hurdle. We’ve all had that moment when someone is between your legs and it feels amazing and then you start to think “I’m taking forever” and then it just seems like you can’t even focus on the orgasm. This is one of the biggest problems when it comes to actually reaching that big O. Try and not think of that as the end point, the more you focus on it the more frustrated you will be when it takes a little longer than expected. So try and relax and enjoy the moment. Have you tried sexy talk? Like using pet names or possibly acting out a few fantasies?. Some people need an extra push physically so either using your hand on yourself while your partner penetrates or using a clit vibe such as a bullet or wand, also using a butt plug can tighten things up and feel incredible if you have tried a bit of bum play before. Other things you can try is your partner doing some groundwork before you get into the action, let him kiss and touch you and build you up before spending some time between your thighs and getting you all flustered with his mouth and fingers, once your really hot and bothered then go for the final hurdle fast and hard or slow and deep whichever works for you. Positioning is also hugely important, one position which a lot of people love is the flat iron where you basically lay flat on your tummy and arch your butt up a little, let your partner enter you from behind and keep your legs closed. This tightens everything up and feels deep, it also hits the front wall which will stimulate your Gspot. One other hugely important thing is communication, talk to your partner about what you like and don’t like. If he says something which is distracting or doesn’t have the right rhythm then let him know. I know it can be daunting to tell someone that you want it faster or whatever but once your teaching the big Os he will feel just as satisfied as you. Communication is key!
+1
Amazing advice as always, thanks for this. x 😉 😊
I love the 'flat iron' position myself, but unfortunately still don't orgasm!!
Butt plugs are ace, I will wear one when using a toy and/or fingers for clit stimulation. x
Thankyou so much for all the replies! Really wasnt expecting so many.
I definately feel I get closer to orgasming (/ generally enjoy myself more!) when with my partner as having him in control really increases the pleasure for me. I fell like I/ we have tried the mojority of everyones suuggestions. Weve tried a fair amount of different toys and bondage and anal and clit stimuulation both definately help me!
I definatly think I need to stop thinking about it so much (I'm getting there, im also at the point where I dont think I'll ever orgasm and am just focusing on enjoying it so this will probably get me there anyway!) and the flat irn position definitley sounds interesting! wevve tried a range of different ones but not that one, were both very open and communicate about things easily so I'll suggest we give it a try.
Thanks again all!!  x