Melt-In-Your-Mouth, stand your ground! Don't let him grind you down.
I'm sure he's a wonderful loving man, but you need to remind him that you are his equal. Otherwise start picking at him every time he cooks, wears pastel colours, does something to his hair or listens to light music, etc, since these are "women's" things to do!
Anyhow, sounds to me like he is just jealous! How about talking to him about getting the tat done somewhere only he will ever see... Or some other way not to draw attention! Maybe you could even get him to help you pick a design, or include something personal in it. (maybe not his name, that's never a good idea...)
at the risk of making my husband sound like a bigotted prick he doesnt like tattoos on women because he says they look trashy and cheap. Hes russian and says that its not really accepted that women get tattoos as they are for men. Also he had a big rant about who is gonna read it on my back and it'll just attract male attention if i show it.
But he believes it's not sexy so why would it attract men?
at the risk of making my husband sound like a bigotted prick he doesnt like tattoos on women because he says they look trashy and cheap. Hes russian and says that its not really accepted that women get tattoos as they are for men. Also he had a big rant about who is gonna read it on my back and it'll just attract male attention if i show it.
But he believes it's not sexy so why would it attract men?
Adx
LOL!!! maybe they'll think im easier to pull cos i got a tat!! Hes such a dickhead lol!
His reasons are not valid. As much as you love each other, it is your body and you have the right to deciede what to do with it, and if that is a tattoo then so be it!
His reasons are not valid. As much as you love each other, it is your body and you have the right to deciede what to do with it, and if that is a tattoo then so be it!
at the risk of making my husband sound like a bigotted prick he doesnt like tattoos on women because he says they look trashy and cheap. Hes russian and says that its not really accepted that women get tattoos as they are for men. Also he had a big rant about who is gonna read it on my back and it'll just attract male attention if i show it.
But he believes it's not sexy so why would it attract men?
Adx
LOL!!! maybe they'll think im easier to pull cos i got a tat!! Hes such a dickhead lol!
He's behaving in an odd way - the fact that he's outright said "no" rather than "I don't like them, but it's up to you" it seems very controlling to me.
His reasons are not valid. As much as you love each other, it is your body and you have the right to deciede what to do with it, and if that is a tattoo then so be it!
Just do it, he cant do / say much once its done.
OOOOOOOOOOOOH u naughty things leading me astray LOL! Ur like the devil on my shoulder but i have to admit this was kinda the way i was thinking. JUST DO IT! LOL!
LOL! the thing is, he is not even willing to listen or change his views, so if this is his reason, to me, it seems unlikely that it will change.
Once it has been done, there is nothing really that can be done, its there and he would have to get used to it. But it does depend on how far you are willing to go with it all.
If it is something that you know you want and you really really want it, then it is something you will have to consider.
It is not fair to have double standards. As it was mentioned before, you are equals.
I say go for it, i have a tattoo then had it covered with a different design, anyway, my OH didnt want me to get one but it was up to me, i wont let him tell me what i can and cant have! Now its done theres nothing he can do about it.
Personally I hate tattoos on men and women ,and have never seen one that I thought was sexy ,particularly that mess Cheryl Cole has just had done . Double D
i love tattoos, after years of wanting one and with the help of violet i got my 1st , a couple of months my second and already planning my 3rd, i personally think tattoos are hot on women violet has 1 on her wrist and a few more planned, all her tattoos will be personally designed by herself so they mean something to her. i say get the tattoo do wat you want to do
I see this rather as a mutual attitude issue for your marriage as a whole. Personally, I would not want to do anything to which my wife seriously objected. I know that the feeling is reciprocated and I believe that is how it should be to get the most out of marriage. We are two very strong-willed individuals so it's not always been so self-sacrificing but it is way better now that it is.
How does he respond if you ask him not to do something he wants to do? Does he go ahead anyway or is he inclined to bow to your request? If the answer is the former it explains/justifies your "do it and be damned" attitude but perhaps it would be better for the long-term if you instead negotiated a more conciliatory approach to the things you both do. Better, perhaps to forego the tattoo and, in exchange, get him to change something he does that you don't like.
I'm not sure I entirely go along with the "my body, my business" position in marriage. It's supposed to be a bond for life in which each gives themselves to the other though, obviously, you can mutually agree that your marriage is something less wholesale and, perhaps, less permanent if you like.
BTW - I'm not sure the fact that he has tattoos necessarily makes him a hypocrite on this issue. Consider for a moment if he decided that he wanted to wear lipstick, eye make-up and high heels - would you accept that your wearing such things totally invalidated any objections you might have?
I see this rather as a mutual attitude issue for your marriage as a whole. Personally, I would not want to do anything to which my wife seriously objected. I know that the feeling is reciprocated and I believe that is how it should be to get the most out of marriage. We are two very strong-willed individuals so it's not always been so self-sacrificing but it is way better now that it is.
How does he respond if you ask him not to do something he wants to do? Does he go ahead anyway or is he inclined to bow to your request? If the answer is the former it explains/justifies your "do it and be damned" attitude but perhaps it would be better for the long-term if you instead negotiated a more conciliatory approach to the things you both do. Better, perhaps to forego the tattoo and, in exchange, get him to change something he does that you don't like.
I'm not sure I entirely go along with the "my body, my business" position in marriage. It's supposed to be a bond for life in which each gives themselves to the other though, obviously, you can mutually agree that your marriage is something less wholesale and, perhaps, less permanent if you like.
BTW - I'm not sure the fact that he has tattoos necessarily makes him a hypocrite on this issue. Consider for a moment if he decided that he wanted to wear lipstick, eye make-up and high heels - would you accept that your wearing such things totally invalidated any objections you might have?
If my husband really didn't want me to have a tattoo i wouldn't have one but i'm lucky as my husband loves them, i had a dodgy Chinese symbol on my ankle, i'm going to have that covered with one in memory of my baby.
well firstly thanks everyone for the response. It seems with this topic as with most things in life opinion is split. I know ultimately it is my decision and he couldnt technically prevent me from doing it but i cant get past the issue of him somehow finding me less attractive if i got it!
I do have very low body confidence and really struggle to accept how i look! Because of this i think it wud make no sense to get something done that i know he doesnt find attractive. BUT (yes there is always a but), I am starting to get my spoiled brat mentallity on and keep thinking 'i'll show u who cant get a tatoo'!!!!!
I did try and speak to him about it again last night but he was much the same 'I said no' He also said what kinda husband wud he be to let me do something to make me look uglier and then had some rant about me shaving my head and piercing my face just to get the whole look!
I personally think hes lost all proportion on the issue and is just digging his heels in on principal!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR fuckin men! i shoulda just not asked in the first place LOL
well firstly thanks everyone for the response. It seems with this topic as with most things in life opinion is split. I know ultimately it is my decision and he couldnt technically prevent me from doing it but i cant get past the issue of him somehow finding me less attractive if i got it!
I do have very low body confidence and really struggle to accept how i look! Because of this i think it wud make no sense to get something done that i know he doesnt find attractive. BUT (yes there is always a but), I am starting to get my spoiled brat mentallity on and keep thinking 'i'll show u who cant get a tatoo'!!!!!
I did try and speak to him about it again last night but he was much the same 'I said no' He also said what kinda husband wud he be to let me do something to make me look uglier and then had some rant about me shaving my head and piercing my face just to get the whole look!
I personally think hes lost all proportion on the issue and is just digging his heels in on principal!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR fuckin men! i shoulda just not asked in the first place LOL
I'm sorry, But seriously... This is unacceptable! If I said this to Lady-J, I would expect nothing less than a slap across the face and some serious silent treatment/cold shoulder.
Really, I just don't get how he's being this way, I mean,married couples should compromise etc etc. Not oone rule for one and a totally different one for the other.
you are equal to him and he should respect that. Period!
