Because of my bad neck and back causing me to be able to sleep for only a few hours at a time and snooring both from my wife and I.
We decided that I should move into our spare bedroom to see if it helps either of us.
It the end yes it helped more than we imagined, I guess we were both resentful and at our wits end over the snooring issue, plus with me waking up screaming in pain was very stressfull for the Wife and our animals.
With me in my own bed I am free to get up when I need to when the pain becomes too strong to tolerate and I no longer wake anyone up because of my pain or snooring.
Overall we are both happerier and we wonder why it took so long to make this move.
If you snore or your OH snores or both of you snore and its a race to see who can fall asleep first perhaps one of you should move out if possible.
We sleep together however atm captain is sleeping downstairs because he has a chest infection and when he sleeps he's stared making this strange noise thay we think is related to his body relaxing and his chest infection causing air to get stuck.
He is the one sleeping on the sofa because I have a chronic pain condition so I need my adapted bed.
Browncoats I am sorry to hear of your situation. I hope things improve so you can get back to what used to be normal for you.
Do you like sleeping alone or would you prefer having your OH next to you to snuggle with when the need came up?
Tbh with fybro and chronic fatigue its not making that much difference. He gets into bed at the beginning of the night in the vain hope he can stay the entire night. So we still get snuggles
For 2 decades same bed. Only on rare occasions hub slept on a mattress next to our matrimonial bed.
Think for richness and poorer, for sickness and for health, we want to give each other the best of ourselves as long as we live. Knowing that love is not selfish, it is some of those moments that I am willing to give than take.
We have not shared the same bedroom for at least 10 years and it works well .My wife was a nurse that worked shifts so always had trouble sleeping which kept me awake .She had to retire early due to ill health and is a bit of an insomniac now and sex is off the menu so we are like house mates .
I like being in my own room where I can masturbate and get a good nights sleep !
When I was first diagnosed with a bad back I found separate beds helped as the slightest move from my oh could send me into pain. I've been unwell lately and whilst I've wanted the comfort of someone there when I've tried to sleep next to my oh he snores and it doesn't help at all, I just get angry and stressed do separate beds is the way for us. I think it's still important to have some shared snuggle time.
We share our bed, but often have different living patterns. Mr Spider is a night owl and I'm an early bird, so quite often I go up to bed early with my beagle for snuggles whilst he stays up playing on his computer.
Some nights we go up together and he brings his comp, but that often disturbs my sleep - but I put up with it as I like him there next to me and my pain meds usually knock me out anyway. I suffer chronic pain from my legs that have spasticity, and get terribly fatigued, so I mostly sleep in short patterns too, usually wake up after 4 hours (that could be cause pain meds have worn off). So I do go back to bed most afternoons for a couple of hours on my own.
Think I'm off track but I would like to share that part of hub which keeps our marriage intact all these years sleeping together. When we had our 1st born, hub will wake up every 3 hours and he will hold our boy against my breast. Trust me, I was very tired so was hub but he finds it a blessing to assist and I called him a night angel. This has gone on for my 2nd and my 3rd child too. I just feel that loving someone is has no condition and barriers. However it demands tender caring and going that extra miles for one another is important. I have sleep apnea for the last 10 years and I have to sleep with a mask connected to a machine. I do looked like an astronaut next to him but he never complained. He's happy that he can sleep well with an astronaut together on a same bed.
We normally start together, but I suffer from acute hearing and my wife snores. I'll often migrate to the spare room during the night.
I never heard of acute hearing, I am sorry to learn of this.
Not so long ago I had an issue with my hearing where loud sounds like when I make a cell phone call, the ringing in my ear piece would blast through my head almost like shockwaves it was completley torturous and I could even see the shock waves as it blurred my vision
Turns out my issue was caused by two arteries in my heart that got clogged 99 percent which took three stents to open again.
Sorry you have to sleep separated, for us sleeping together is one of the joys of a relationship. We always sleep nude, and always did with previous partners.
When swinging friends come to stay we often sleep swapped with them in different beds, it adds a nice touch of eroticism.
We tried to stay in the same bed for a long time even with these issues, yet the lack of sleep on both our parts for different reasons was causing resentment and anger.
So far it has been one of the best things we could have done for our situation.
My Grand Parents met in High School and both were each others first and they stayed married until the finally passed away, they slept in the same room but on sperate beds.
When I asked them why they are so happy after all these years they said it is because we never ever allow ourselfs to go to bed while we are mad each other.
If they had an issue they would work it out that day before sleeping.
They were together for over 60 years.
My Grandfather Died then my Grandmother died within a year I think from a broken heart.
OH and I are a bed every night. It is a superking size bed so we have plenty of space if we need it and we can get up independently without waking the other person, so I guess we are lucky.
I like a warn duvet with the windows open while OH likes a thinner duvet but we manage just fine. I can see the benefits of separate beds for some and it sounds like it works for you, but I like to know he is there, even if it is at arms length.