Hi I want to get into the dom/sub realm with my partner with him as the sub but need some guidance. Any advice would be welcome.
Hi badgersplaymate - if you want drop me an e-mail - I can send you a couple of web links and some info. that may be useful to you :) xx
Some tips to get you started:
Communicate:
Speak with him and develop a list of things you would like to try and ask him to do the same. Also come up with a list of hard limits; things you (and he) most definitely so not want to try. Discuss what fantasies you both have and you will get a better idea of what will work for the both of you and what will not. Create a safeword that he can use should he want play to stop. We use two. one to indicate that I need to slow down as he is reaching his limits and another to indicate "stop now and untie me" Communicate all the time. before, during and after. Discuss what worked and what didn't and you will develop more trust and be able to build on your reportoire together. Always play safely, sanely and consensually.
Research:
The web is a great place to find out information on BDSM or specifics, like how to tie knots, how to spank and well, almost anything you need to find out about. When researching, always bear in mind a few things. Firstly, there is no "One True Way" to be submissive, dominant (or any other thing you can think of) all that is important is what works for you and makes you two feel good. Don't let anyone tell you that you are doing anything wrong (Unless you are attempting something dangerous without knowledge) enjoy your activities the way you wish to enjoy them. Do lots of googling. Maybe join Fetlife (An online BDSM community rich in articles, stories, forums, communities and people who have been involved in BDSm or kink for a while) and soak up their knowledge. Always be wary and question everything though. Even if said advice comes from a (Self proclaimed) expert. It is the internet after all.
Don't jump in at the deep end:
Although this is all new and exciting, it is best to start slow and gradually build up your confidence, abilities and skills, rather than one or both of you getting hurt (physically or emotionally) The pleasure is in the journey afterall. Starting slowly and communicating is the best way to go imo. Always make sure you are playing safe and not biting off more than you can chew. this includes such things as practising hitting with paddles and whips and even testing them on your own body first, to get an idea of what they feel like and how hard to hit, ensuring bindings are not too tight or difficult to get out of (keeping scissors handy, just in case) and so much more.
If you have any specific questions (like, where can I learn to tie knots or how can I dirty talk or what does a flogger feel like compared to a paddle, etc etc) just ask us, we will do our best to answer them!
hi just a quick question how do u bring up the subject you want a guy to be more dom with you?
little-miss-kink wrote:
hi just a quick question how do u bring up the subject you want a guy to be more dom with you?
I'd start by asking if he wants to tie you to the bed and see where it goes from there.
lol i dont have a bed have a mattress lol oh well tiein me up seems fun :)
Scorpius12 wrote:
Hi badgersplaymate - if you want drop me an e-mail - I can send you a couple of web links and some info. that may be useful to you :) xx
I may use the fountain of knowledge Mrs Scorpius wheres your email ?