A friend of mine has just started a relationship with a girl but she wants more in the way of kinnky sex, whereas hes very much your straight forward average sex bloke so for him its all new and strange so just posting this for any advice as to how he can start up as a dom and keep the relationship going :)
cheers for any advice :D xx
if youre against BDSM probably best not to read advice or give your own as it would only damage the confidence he has at the moment, thanks all :) xx
There have been similar threads to this so a search may be helpful in getting ideas.
I think one of the most helpful start to gaining confidence and becoming more of a dom is to blindfold the other person so it already starts off with you in control. Then you can try and give orders with the other person helpless and/or keep them guessing- a good way can also be to introduce some bondage gear.
Here are some advice from the Lovehoney blog-
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2007/05/30/first-time-bondage-and-domination/
Love this intro blog post about BDSM by Hella. It really puts to rest most BDSM myths - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2010/08/13/bdsm-for-vanilla-lovers-introduction/
This is a great beginner's kit but is unfortunately out of stock at the moment- http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19289 but some cheap ol' bondage tape would make a nice initial accessory.
Hope that helps. =)
thankyou :D xx
starting off as a dom* sorry all :') x
I had the same situation with my partner when we started going out -- luckily, he turned out to be super kinky, but had never had kinky sex with anyone before! So there was a steep learning curve for us. The main thing we found to be helpful was communication. Nothing left unsaid! Talking about sex before and afterwards, letting my new Dom know what I liked, what I didn't like, what made me feel submissive.
This might seem counter-intuitive -- telling your Dom what to do -- but you can't develop a power dynamic with a click of your fingers, especially where S&M is involved. Safety is the most important thing, so until they get to know eachothers' limits, likes & dislikes, there's going to have to be some topping from the bottom!
A great resource is Fetlife -- it's a brilliant community for kinksters, and while there are a lot of people who say you can't become a Dom (lots of Doms believe that you are born dominant, it's not something you can develop) there's lots of friendly kinksters on there willing to give advice.
Another hot tip is PORN! Lots of porn. D/s porn, BDSM porn... Kink.com is a great place to start. Watch it together, point out things that you think are hot, that you'd like to try, things that you DON'T like and DON'T want to try!
Best of luck to your friend!