Who masturbates over their ex?
Not me. Do you?
Yes. Is that weird
Personally I think that's something that needs to end with the relationship so you can move on, so no I don't. I'd feel like I was violating them tbh, I know most relationships don't end with an explicit 'you can't masturbate to me anymore!' but it's a pretty logical conclusion to me that the consent left with the relationship so I'd feel that's a no go. But I guess it depends on the nature of the relationship/break up!
On the grand scheme of things, not particularly. Just not something I've done.Johnny909 wrote:
Yes. Is that weird
Nope. They're an ex for a reason and, for me, my exes become the epitome of unattractive, so I think even if I tried, I'd be turned off rather than on.
Sounds like you may have latent feelings about your Ex. Maybe they are the one that called it off ?
For you to move on you need to get over this and any thought of a sexual activity with an Ex needs to be left well behind.
Lovebirds_x wrote:
Personally I think that's something that needs to end with the relationship so you can move on, so no I don't. I'd feel like I was violating them tbh, I know most relationships don't end with an explicit 'you can't masturbate to me anymore!' but it's a pretty logical conclusion to me that the consent left with the relationship so I'd feel that's a no go. But I guess it depends on the nature of the relationship/break up!
I agree with this. I’d feel the same.
Agree! I haven't wanked over any of mine. Definitely turned off by them.Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:
Nope. They're an ex for a reason and, for me, my exes become the epitome of unattractive, so I think even if I tried, I'd be turned off rather than on.
I couldn’t think of anything worse to be honest, my mind seems to see them as grotesque after a break up. I just get very negative thoughts and want to be as far away as possible. I guess that’s just how my brain saves me from ever feeling I wanted to go back. If you still find an attraction then you won’t get over them very quickly and it could be very unhealthy
LIL_KNOWN69 wrote:
I couldn’t think of anything worse to be honest, my mind seems to see them as grotesque after a break up. I just get very negative thoughts and want to be as far away as possible. I guess that’s just how my brain saves me from ever feeling I wanted to go back. If you still find an attraction then you won’t get over them very quickly and it could be very unhealthy
I am just wondering if I am odd here ? I havn't ever had that experience when I have broken up with previous partners.. I have always left on good terms and still bump into some of my Exes occaisionally,3 different ones over the last 12 months and bearing in mind I have been with my current partner now some 29 years , thats quite a lot. I certainly dont have any latent feelings about going back with them though .What we had was good at the time but we all have moved on .
Not weird at all mysteron, we all have different feelings and even though I’m fine with my exes in certain ways I’d give them a nod to acknowledge they exist but wouldn’t strike up a conversation. I had some amazing times with them, a lot of personal jokes and other experiences, but as far as my own mental health is concerned i have always backed off and cut everything quickly. I think of the negatives over the positives because they are exes for a reason. We’re all adults so of course we should be able to pass our exes on the street without running into the nearest bush, but if you left in bad terms then it’s very much the opposite.
I however find masturbating over an ex something I couldn’t and wouldn’t do as they are in the past and I feel if I linger in that state of limbo I would get attached. But as long as your not harming anyone then i guess it would be okay, just a little bit intrusive
LIL_KNOWN69 wrote:
Not weird at all mysteron, we all have different feelings and even though I’m fine with my exes in certain ways I’d give them a nod to acknowledge they exist but wouldn’t strike up a conversation. I had some amazing times with them, a lot of personal jokes and other experiences, but as far as my own mental health is concerned i have always backed off and cut everything quickly. I think of the negatives over the positives because they are exes for a reason. We’re all adults so of course we should be able to pass our exes on the street without running into the nearest bush, but if you left in bad terms then it’s very much the opposite.
I however find masturbating over an ex something I couldn’t and wouldn’t do as they are in the past and I feel if I linger in that state of limbo I would get attached. But as long as your not harming anyone then i guess it would be okay, just a little bit intrusive
Yep fair comment.
I think your last paragraph possibly hits home IMO about the Opening Poster. IMO he could have latent feelings about his Ex and the only way again IMO is for him to move on is to place his EX firmly behind him .
No doubt when he finds a new partner then this sexual fantasy he has about his Ex will surely dissappear as a distant memory.
I think when it’s a recent ex and your struggling to find any form of passion in your life or security then it automatically goes to a safe place (the ex). But once you find someone to replace them and have a few new sexual experiences you can truly forget about them.
I'll risk adding to your reply without driving this thread off topic. Having finished in a recent relationship you can end up going too soon into another ie being on the rebound .Therefore one could be using this new person as a substitute for the EX and enter in a relationship for the wrong reasons. This has happened to me once when I ended up going out with a friends EX ( she asked me out) .
So assuming the OP has come out of a relationship recently then to enter a new retalitionship straight away may not be the answer. IMO he has to find a way of moving on which will not hurt anyone else.
All this of course is assuming the OP has come out of a relationship and finding it hard to move on hence his opening statement .
I miss my ex. I doubt I'd be able to without crying.
No.....not for me. I do get off looking at pictures of Mr JJ.....he's the only one I'm interested in xx
Without taking it off subject as you said, I totally agree that you can rush things, and if it’s a recent relationship breakdown then I can understand the comfort of using an ex, but it does need to get to a time which you move on. But agreed with you in terms of moving on too fast, but for your own self purpose you need to move on gradually before it becomes unhealthy