Hey everyone, always been a big fan of you all and Lovehoney.
Been a bit frustrated as of late. To make a long story short, I've been depressed on and off for a while - not the miserable sort of depression; I'm optimistic, can be happy and satisfied, but am fatigued, sick of the poor degree I'm doing and find it extremely hard to find study motivation. Here in China where I'm studying there's unfortunately no professional support for depression due to lack of development/interest in psychiatric treatment.
Anyway, that aside my sex drive has been on a downward slope for a long time now. Granted, I've only been having sex for a very short time (first time 18, currently 21) but it's taking it's toll on my wonderful girlfriend as well as me. We started off like anyone might, several times a week and my drive would be fairly high. But a gradual decrease began before the depression arrived.
I've been with her and one other girl over the past 3 years; I'm now back with the first lovely lady. It's not an attraction problem - I'm highly attracted to her and was with the other girl too. The same thing happened with my ex in fact during our short half-year relationship. Things were going great at the start, then suddenly, the drive disappeared just like that. It was me - she was still very much up for it, as is my current OH.
I've had plenty of blood tests including thyroid and testosterone level tests - all have come back normal, though testosterone could have been a little higher. Nevertheless a one-off testosterone injection didn't give any noticeable help. It's not ED; in the rare cases I am in the mood, erections are no problem and tests show they occur at night too.
Lately the sex drive has reached rock-bottom - it might have been as much as once a week a few months ago, but now I simply can't muster up any desire whatsoever. I don't see it happening this month.
I feel like the romantic attraction is there, but not the sexual - e.g. I pretty much don't watch porn, but catching eye of something sexy like my half-dressed OH or another girl in a music video etc, I feel no doubt she is sexually attractive but don't muster up much natural sexual attraction or interest.
I don't feel like I may be gay - the attraction to women is there as always, just in an asexual sort of way if that makes sense. I suppose depression is likely a big part of it, but it was almost the same before the depression came. You might say in fact the lack of drive fuels the depression.
Anyway, thanks for reading everyone, I've tried to keep this as short as possible. I guess it's a bit of a rant since I know the best advice is healthy eating, exercise, solving the depression and waiting it out. But I can't help being worried. I'm 21, getting him up seems harder than getting a teenager up in the morning for school. Ugh.
Am I turning asexual or what?