Is it just me or anyone else feel the same
that whan u put abit of weight on u dont feel attractive or sexy and dont want to dress up for ya oh becouse u think they will just look at u and think omg
oh keeps tellin me there is nothin wrong with and to pack it in and start wearing sexy outfits again
pharaps you should listern to what your other half is saying if he loves you and finds you attractive size and a little bit of weight gain is not a issue dont feel negative just be you be sexy attractive and enjoy yourself have fun and excitment you are no diffrent do not worry or feel unatractive feel sexy and attractive be posative and you will be so i second your oh stop it have fun enjoy yourself be sexy enjoy yourself good luck
Ive put on weight (or rather not lost it since having baby earlier in the year) and although I'm not happy I know hubby prefers me at the weight I am now as he thought I was too slim before. And all of my friends agree that I look better for having a little weight on
He might honestly prefer you at the weight you are now, so find some underwear that makes you feel confident and enjoy yourself :)
(I just cover up the parts I'm insecure about with underwear)
This seems to be a big problem with a lot of women,please believe your OH,if they say you look good! Most men prefer voluptuous women rather than stick thin ones,so they`re likely over the moon! Nobody is perfect anyway,we men seem able to accept our imperfections,women need to do the same.
Hello,
I would personally believe your partner. If you are not sure, maybe pick some sexy lingerie which will hide the parts you are not so sure about while highlitening some which you like.
I am also not sure about my body so I exercise and it does help me be more confident about myself even if I am overweight atm. But it gives me more confidence about myself because my body is slightly firmer.
Possibly you can also try softer lights, not thr main ones. This also seem to help for some with confidence issues about their body.
Listen to the OH you're beautiful and unique but it is important to feel beautiful as it can effect your self confidence and being confident in yourself helps everything.. Buy yourself a new outfit including lingerie.. Something you feel super sexy in and surprise him & listen to his compliments because he sees you everyday he's fallen in love with you <3 I'm sure you look gorgeous :) x
Mrs Babelicious menace wrote:
that whan u put abit of weight on u dont feel attractive or sexy and dont want to dress up for ya oh becouse u think they will just look at u and think omg
To be fair, he looks at you everyday whether you're wearing lingerie or not and while telling you to 'pack it in' isn't exactly the most eloquent or supportive thing to say, it does convey the basic message that he clearly still finds you attractive and would still very much lke to see you all dressed up.
It's not just skinny people who look good in lingerie, so putting on a bit of weight doesn't automatically mean you look bad in lingerie. Don't stare longingly at what you used to wear and wish you could still fit into it or try to squeeze yourself into it, that's just going to start a vicious cycle of poor body image. Pick out some lovely new lingerie, if you're particularly self concious about one area explore new styles that will skim over that area while emphasising others. Going up sizes doens't mean you're going to look worse, it just means you're going to have to find something that highlights your new body. Whether you plan to lose the weight again or not it's still important to love the body you're in right now so don't feel like buying a larger size is giving up or wasting money or accepting that you'll never have the body you want, you deserve to look and feel good right now so if that means you need bigger lingerie, you go get that bigger lingerie.
It's hard to get started again, but the longer you avoid dressing in pretty things the more you're going to spiral into believing you are not worthy of wearing those pretty things, and the more your self image will suffer. It could also have an impact on your relationship over time, so it's worth trying to boost your confidence and trying to relax and believe your OH when he tells you he loves you just as you are :)
Putting on a bit of weight doesn't mean you are unattractive, it just means shopping! :D Go out and buy yourself some new lingerie in a different size, and choose it to highlight your best bits. Does your man like your bust or bum the best? Choose something to compliment it! Embrace your new body! I do understand what you mean about feeling unattractive though, down days are the worst :( Paint your nails or have a homemade spa day, you ARE beautiful and ARE worth it. Keep strong! Your weight doesn't define you x
I can empathise but putting on weight or losing it doesn't make you unattractive, it's how you act and how you feel, you may need time to adjust but your other half loves you and is attracted to you. It's time to focus on the things you love about your body and don't let any little weight gain get you down, life is too short and weight isn't important when it comes to sexual magnetism, you're fine, learn to love every little part of you and try not to let it bring you down, it only makes things worse.
If you really want to work on your body I'd recommend finding an exercise you love. I feel at my sexiest without my make-up on, hair scraped back, body in lycra (even with the odd lump and bump) working up an incredible sweat in the gym, it's such a turn-on and I love to see how my body changes. I always feel so powerful and sexy after even if I do have a sweaty crotch!
I've put a bit of weight on through the medication I have to take for my illnesses and I hate it, I would love to be thinner than I am now but I have no control at the moment over what is happenings my body. I feel unattractive as well as being single for three years and seeing all my friends settling down I just don't understand where I went wrong or what I am doing wrong. It's difficult being ill and having two kids I can see the put offs straight away but I just want to be someone's forever person that they will always want and never leave but looking the way I see myself I don't think it will ever happen
I definitely feel you! I recently went through a similar thing so I definitely can empathize. Thanks to my OH, friends and some really lovely people here, I feel way better so I hope that whatever I'm going to say can help you a little too.
I actually had a conversation with a close friend and she pointed out that we always end up surprised when either of us comment on how much weight we've gained, probably because we see each other for who we are, rather than what we look like.
Of course, that's platonic, but I'd imagine that your OH's love for you is even greater than that. We judge ourselves the most, but honestly, when he looks at you, he isn't looking at the extra inches you gained. He's looking at you, the woman he loves. Possibly he simplifies it and is unable to realize how deeply it's affecting you because he genuinely doesn't think that you look any less attractive.
Our weight is always going to be dynamic. We gain weight now, maybe we'll lose it in the future, perhaps we'll gain a bit again. Which is why, I think, we can't allow it to control our self esteem and confidence. It's so much easier said than done, but I think it's worth working towards. For now, treat yourself and buy some lovely new things in sizes that fit. What's important is that you feel comfortable so that you can regain your confidence again.
If you do decide that you want to shed the weight, do it because you want to and not because you think you have to. Find an exercise that you love so that it's entertainment. If you lose weight while having fun, well, that's an added bonus. ;) I personally love Zumba or anything dance related because it's just so much silly fun. [If you get some jiggle balls to wear during the workout, it becomes even more fun, just saying. ;) ]
You are beautiful, inside and out. Just a little increase in numbers on a scale, or the letters on a tag can't change that. You're still you. It's okay to feel down. Take little steps to finding your confidence again. Wear something nice, spritz on some perfume and maybe get a new haircut. Pamper yourself and maybe at the end of all that, you'll feel better. True beauty radiates from inside out so maybe the reason why you look a little less spectacular now is because you're feeling diminished inside and not so much because you look any worse outside.
It's a long road, and we'll have our bad days again. But anytime you feel bad again, just know that I, as well as many lovely people here, are all ready to remind you that you're beautiful and that you're strong enough to get through the tougher times.
Many hugs! ♥
What a lovely reassuring post - you are exactly right! My Oh loves me bigger than I would like so I take a deep breath and think who am I trying to impress? Only him - so why worry? We all have off days tho... XxMinkish Minx wrote:
I definitely feel you! I recently went through a similar thing so I definitely can empathize. Thanks to my OH, friends and some really lovely people here, I feel way better so I hope that whatever I'm going to say can help you a little too.
I actually had a conversation with a close friend and she pointed out that we always end up surprised when either of us comment on how much weight we've gained, probably because we see each other for who we are, rather than what we look like.
Of course, that's platonic, but I'd imagine that your OH's love for you is even greater than that. We judge ourselves the most, but honestly, when he looks at you, he isn't looking at the extra inches you gained. He's looking at you, the woman he loves. Possibly he simplifies it and is unable to realize how deeply it's affecting you because he genuinely doesn't think that you look any less attractive.
Our weight is always going to be dynamic. We gain weight now, maybe we'll lose it in the future, perhaps we'll gain a bit again. Which is why, I think, we can't allow it to control our self esteem and confidence. It's so much easier said than done, but I think it's worth working towards. For now, treat yourself and buy some lovely new things in sizes that fit. What's important is that you feel comfortable so that you can regain your confidence again.
If you do decide that you want to shed the weight, do it because you want to and not because you think you have to. Find an exercise that you love so that it's entertainment. If you lose weight while having fun, well, that's an added bonus. ;) I personally love Zumba or anything dance related because it's just so much silly fun. [If you get some jiggle balls to wear during the workout, it becomes even more fun, just saying. ;) ]
You are beautiful, inside and out. Just a little increase in numbers on a scale, or the letters on a tag can't change that. You're still you. It's okay to feel down. Take little steps to finding your confidence again. Wear something nice, spritz on some perfume and maybe get a new haircut. Pamper yourself and maybe at the end of all that, you'll feel better. True beauty radiates from inside out so maybe the reason why you look a little less spectacular now is because you're feeling diminished inside and not so much because you look any worse outside.
It's a long road, and we'll have our bad days again. But anytime you feel bad again, just know that I, as well as many lovely people here, are all ready to remind you that you're beautiful and that you're strong enough to get through the tougher times.
Many hugs! ♥
This certainly isn't restricted to women. After many years of being overweight and a terrible sex life I lost 5 stone 3 years ago with the hope that being thinner she might find me attractive again. It did do wonders for my confidence and I'm so glad I did it. To be honest it hasn't improved outer sex life at all and whilst I do still have massive crisis of confidence sometimes (as I do now) I do, generally feel so much better about myself.
My OH refuses to do any kind of dress up because she feels self conscious about herself. No matter what I do or say it doesn't seem to help her. I adore her, I think she's widly sexy but she just doesn't see herself that way I guess. I'd love her to do it for me because I'd love to feel wanted enough for her to put the effort in but it's not for her so I don't even bring it up anymore.
In reality though it really doesn't matter what size you are, as long as you're happy with yourself. From experience I know that's a lot easier said than done though. Whatever you choose to wear, if your OH says your sexy, I have no doubt that he means it.
One of the best things I did for my own body image and self confidence was to take boudorie photos for myself... oh yeah and the OH LOL.
I do not have a perfect body, but a good photographer will pose you great to work with your best assests.
When I feel fat, unattractive or just want to smile I take out the photos and look at the and instantly feel better!
hello all iam 16 stone at 5foot 7 and ugly so i know how you feel and have just stooped online dating because it make you an easy target met one who want to make me number 11 .3 who told me they love me befor meeting me .1 of which i went a long with after a while after a while after borrow some a lot of money i told him 10426 to a payday loan company and never heard from him since 1 who i got on with haven,t heard from for 3 weeks i think it is because i will not get married ever think he wanted to stay in this country so i have give up
tider its only you that says your ugly beauty is in the eye of the beholder do not pul your self down as they say beauty is only skin deep what is more inportant is what is on the inside you have to be very careful on line as there are so many scams all after money since my wife died i am receiveing so many scam skype requests from youngish women wanting me to chat on line from all over the world on checking most are from Africa all wanting me to pay for them to come and see me I block all incoming skype requests but they still keep coming Dxx