I was a virgin before I met my current partner and when we first had sex (about four + months ago now) I tore my perineum in two places. Just little tiny 'paper cut like' tears. They've never healed and frequently cause me irritation (they sting during urination, make penetration and him giving me oral sex pretty painful) I presumed that they would heal with time, but when I eventually got round to googling it, most people seemed to suggest they healed quickly, which obviously was not the case for me. My boyfriend suggested that it wasn't healing due to the fact we regularly have sex, but considering we're in a long distance relationship and have had periods of not seeing each of other for a good two weeks (with me also not masturbating during this time due to feeling pretty ill) I'd have expected it to have sealed over.
About a week ago I tore down the centre of what I believe is the prepuce of my clitoris. It was a larger tear, and I believe it looks today like it's beginning to heal.
I have an absolutely awful immune system and a very fragile body (in that the joints and skin are both pathetic due to a blood disorder I have) and I suspect that this may be what is causing this easy tearing.
I wondered if any of you had any ideas how to either encourage it to heal, minimise the pain (currently I use germolene, which is good but hasn't cured anything) or help my skin toughen? I was considering buying some perineal massage oil that pregnant women use to help prevent tears when giving birth.
That sounds painful, first thing have you seen your doctor, or practice nurse about this recent tear? Things to encourage healing would be a few (no more than 6) drops of lavender essential oil in your bath, you can also use something like sweet almond oil to massage. i would avoid the germolene to be honest. hope this helps
I think you do need to see your doctor to see what is actually wrong. It does seem you may have some problem which needs to be sorted. The tearing should heal relatively easily. I got scratched a bit the other day, it was small scratch, still bit painful and not comfortable, and it was fine within about day or 2. But the healing can take longer if it is deeper. Still 4+months is far too long, really. I think most women heal even after giving birth and tearing faster than that.
It might be worth getting something to moisturise the skin well like epaderm ( it's thick and doesn't sting like creams will ). This can help aid recovery of skin growth.
Definitely see your GP. There dermatologists ( skin specialists ) who are experts in women's bits if you not getting better with your GPs advice.
I agree, you should go to your doctor or nurse, this is certainly not the norm and sounds very painful. There may be something they can prescribe or suggest.
I agree, you should go to your doctor or nurse, this is certainly not the norm and sounds very painful. There may be something they can prescribe or suggest.
I had scar tissue in my ear from piercing, and when trying to stretch, even with the best techniques ect, it would sometimes split a bit. Something I read about and used is to make chamomile tea with half a teaspoon of sea salt and soak the tear with that. As hot as you can stand it aswell.
Using an oil and regular massaging should help your tissue become more flexable, but don't do any of that till you are completely healed. I used to use vitamin e oil. You can buy it in bottles from supliment shops, but you can also get the little capsules for swallowing. That allowes you to just take one capsule, burst it, and you get a little amount of fresh oil.
That you split on your clitoral hood is probably related to your skin issues, because i've never heard of that happening before.
I have to agree - you should definitely see your doctor to get to the bottom of the cause.
The skin is very delicate down there so any increased delicacy for whatever reason can make tearing common. I tear regularly around where you've described - the perineum and just inside the entrance to the vagina causing a little build up of scar tissue. I also tear quite often around the inner lips. I can tear from cleaning too thoroughly, sex, inserting anything (dilators, Mooncup etc.) and from walking around in jeans.
The preventative advice I've been given is to use very gentle soaps during washing, use showers instead of baths as soaking in very hot water can be bad for the skin, try not to clean too thoroughly or too often as it can dry out the skin, wear skirts and dresses and loose knickers instead of jeans and thongs (I can't wear thongs anymore, they irritate the skin too much) and beware of how you clean your bath if you do have a bath because the cleaner will be diluted into your bath water if not thoroughly rinsed it.
Over the years I've tried steroid creams to help the skin but these can have the opposite effect as they make the skin thinner with use so definitely only use something like this under medical advice/supervision.
When I have a cut they heal very, very quickly so I can't really advise too much on encouraging healing but I do use Simple (the brand) moisturiser to keep the skin from drying out and further chapping and it helps. And again wearing skirts to prevent further aggravation etc. Clean gently with Simple soap and try not to touch it too much to prevent infection.
But definitely see your doctor about the cause and the reason for the slow healing. I've just been referred to a vulval dermatologist so I'll let you know how that goes if it's useful :)
Thank you very much for your overwhelming response. I think I'd prefer to see my general doctor rather than try and find one out here in Wales so I'll make an appointment once I'm back home. I suspect it'll be a fairly drawn out process because I heal poorly and slowly due to my illness and kind of think that they'll just put it down to that in the end (which is probably why I've avoided going to date, to be honest.)
AA,sadly I can't take ibuprofen due to a silly digestive system and not wanting to irritate it.
Jass, thank you very much for the essential oil advice. I'll definitely keep it in mind.
BP and Pixieking - I'll certainly look into the treatments you've advised if the trip to the doctor's is fruitless.
Ad, thank you so much for your detailed response. At my own home I usually shower because I have items to help me do so, but at my boyfriend's I bath because it's safer due to balance issues (I apologise for giving the impression I'm falling apart, in myself I almost qualify as healthy ;P) but I hate hot temperatures so it's always pretty cool. I also use Femfresh Intimate Wash, which I believe is more suitable than the usual soaps. I also normally wear dresses, so it doesn't appear that my usual routine should be affecting the tears too much?
Yeah, seems you're doing everything right. Keeping your bathing times as short as possible may help a little and moisterising the skin regularly. I don't know much about Femfresh wash but I've had products designed for intimate areas before and found they often have lots of different things in them - plant extracts etc. Which in themselves may be a little irritating for the skin (even if they are "natural") so it may be worth checking what's in it? My doctors have always said - "avoid soap all together, but since I can't convince you of that - use the Simple brand if you really must" so I tend to go with that :). Femfresh is probably fine - but they do often have lots of ingredients which may be irritants on delicate skin so worth checking :)
But yes at least you're doing all you can prevention wise and avoiding making the tears worse. now just to figure out a way to encourage healing. Not something I can offer much help on other than avoiding too much dryness.
I'll have a hunt for advice though - I use a resource for my connective tissue disorder that has loads of tips and one of the symptoms for the condition is poor healing but it's a symptom I don't have so I've never paid attention to the tips before - I'll see if I can find anything useful :)
That would be very, very kind of you. Thank you Ad, I really do appreciate it. Femfresh claims to be 'a soap free female hygiene wash' and its product description on Boots is: "Femfresh Intimate Wash is enriched with Aloe Vera and Camomile. Femfresh has been especially formulated to gently cleanse and refresh the intimate area whilst helping to maintain a healthy pH balance. Femfresh is dermatologically and gynaecologically tested and is suitable for everyday use." I would go and find out the ingredients but bf is in the bathroom at the moment. I'll check out the Simple brand, thanks.
Just looking and the best tips I can see are Aloe Vera (which you've got in your cleanser), E45, Savlon or Sudocream.
Most of which I'm sure you've already tried. I think Sudocream might be the best one to start with - if it's gentle enough for babies' bums then it should be gentle enough for your skin.
There is mention of healing promoting dressings but I doubt they'd be very effective on the genitals and keeping air moving around the area is quite important.
Otherwise it's something that I can't find many more tips for. If I come across anything else, I'll let you know :)