This is mainly directed to the females of the forum, but looking for knowledge from forum members in general.
When I am masturbating the OH by hand, she complains that I am doing it incorrectly and that she feels she is being jabbed, rather than it being a enjoyable experience.
This has meant that she very rarely lets me masturbate her, and I feel that I am missing out on pleasuring her.
Any tips?
Circle motion around the clit - lightly rub the clit and then soft touches to the clit - leave the vagina alone 
Or use your tongue to do the same
Thank youā
Stroke the clitoris slowly and gently at first and gradually increase the speed and pressure. Use some lubricant if necessary to stop her getting sore. Most importantly talk to each other. Ask her exactly what she would like you to do or better still get her to show you how she does it when she masturbates.
Ask her to guide/control your hand and let her show you how she likes it.
Or have her take your other hand and use her finger on your palm. Copy the movement and the pressure she uses.
And use a little bit of lube
Sorry you feel that you havent been fit to do it right. My only suggestion is that you go very gentle and at the same time kiss her body and make her feel amazing!! This should help relax her, gently circle her clit and use plenty of lube and let her guide you into what she likes and how she likes it
I find that I have the same problem as your wife, I think thereās a few reasons, the first is that he doesnāt enter at the right angle, Iām not relaxed enough and finally, he needs to slow down! I very rarely finger myself because itās not very comfortable, but, in the rare occasions that I do, I take it very slowly so that I can respond to how it feels and change position if I need to. I think communication and taking it very slow is the way to go. Ask her to guide you and move very slowly, almost as if you are allowing her to pull you in and your fingers are only providing very minimal pressure. If she doesnāt like it though, itās probably best to find something else that you can both enjoy.
Some great advice here but have you ever thought of asking her to show you how she achieves orgasm? Not only will it be educational for you but you will no doubt enjoy her demonstrating. It is so sensual to watch someone pleasuring themselves and after a few ālessonsā you should be able to take over and bring her to orgasm.
In my experience Iāve found that not all women like the same thing.
Can I suggest you ask to watch her do it to herself, really pay attention to what she does, then try to replicate what you saw and ask for live feedback as youāre doing it.
Thanks for the advice in this post. I think I hurt my lady fingering her inside. She likes it, but I forget the lube. I am going to buy some and have bookmarked some posts on the same.
If my distant memories serve me well , the most important thing after her guiding you is to take it easy and lube . You are NOT trying to start a fire . Many women do the same thing while stroking a gent . I have had women prefer a very lite , slow rub and nothing else . And I had had women request a rather robust , hard rub while fingering . As a foot note , what they may like one day might different greatly to another day . Some women have a difficult time telling you what they want exactly , in that case go easy with ample lube .
If she does like internal (g spot) stimulation, then you dont have to thrust in/out, instead leave your finger(s) inside her snd gently rub the upper wall (towards her pubic mound) with a ācome hereā motion, this should reduce or eliminate the feeling of her being jabbes.
As @Gareth has said everyone is different. There is some great advice already regarding communication from @rockstar and others. Enjoyable sex relies on letting your partner know whatās good and whatās not so her telling you that what you are doing doesnāt feel good is a great start. If you can, talk to her about what she does enjoy and experiment. My partner varies from day to day in terms of pressure speed and how she likes to be touched. @rockstar, @Calie & @Kitty-Cat01 have mentioned this but ask her to tell you what feels good and if sheās confident get her to show you or use her hand over yours. Never rush and use lube if needed, I tend to just lick my finger from time to time. If sheās starting to get wet Iāll dip a finger gently into her vagina and use her own lube to massage her labia and clit. Iād never start rubbing her clit directly or fingering her internally until I know sheās ready so circling her clit and using her labia to massage her clit is a great warm up. Iāll place a finger ether side of clit and massage without touching her clit directly. Iām lucky in that she will get quite wet when sheās getting turned on and her vagina gets more relaxed so I can feel when sheās ready for more. Sometimes she likes her clit teased and other times itās almost like Iām jerking her off Iām just guided by her feedback. If sheās ready for internal play my finger will enter her easily. @Senator has already said this but focus more on an internal massage than a thrusting motion. Gently rubbing circles, come hither motion or pressure on her upper vagina feels good for my partner so maybe something you could try. I use my middle finger with my palm and other fingers still in contact and massaging her labia/clit. Iāll pull her up gently with my finger inside her if that makes sense? Always be guided by her reactions, it should be obvious when things are working or not by her general reactions but the more communication she gives the easier it will be for her to guide you as to how to give her pleasure. As @Grainne has suggested donāt forget other parts of her body and continue kissing, hugging squeezing or anything else that she enjoys while you play.
My OH guides my hand in the motion and pressure she likes. So she really gets what she likes and I get pleasure from knowing that.