First time dildo question

Hi everyone, a little about myself. I am a woman, not a virgin. I recently bought Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit 10 Function Silver Rabbit Vibrator, and the BASICS Suction Cup Dildo 6 Inch. With both, I have had a hard time getting them. Only the tip goes in and it becomes a little painful when trying more. I have tried lube but it doesn’t do much help. Any help will help.

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Hi and welcome to the forums.

Have you ever experienced pain during penetration before? If you have, it might be worth having a check up at your local sexual health clinic or with your doctor. There are some medical conditions that can make penetration painful, but it’s worth considering other possibilities before jumping to the conclusion that there is something wrong.

Firstly, it could simply be an arousal issue. Would you say you were turned on before using the toys? The vagina increases in size when your body sends signals to say that penetration is about to happen (this also kicks in your natural lubrication) and the easiest way to do this is by being aroused. Being relaxed will also help a lot. Take your time and don’t rush to insert the toys. Try starting by the rabbit ears on your clit, labia, nipples, anywhere that feels good. When you do start to insert the toy, insert it just a little way and let your body get used to the feeling before trying to go further.

Secondly, what lube did you use? It could be that you just need more of it. Dehydration can make lube absorb faster. Trying a thicker lube or a hybrid lube may help. Also lubes that include ingredients such as aloe vera are good as they help moisturise the area as well as lubricate.

Thirdly, it might just be that you need to start with smaller toys are work up a bit. This could be in the form of other dildos or vibrators, or you could even use something like kegel balls.

Fourthly, if it is a burning/stinging pain or discomfort then it could be a reaction to the toy material or lube. Try either changing the lube or adding a condom to the toy.

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Excellent comment, Calie! :clap:

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Hi there and welcome @thisislilianapacheco!

I would agree with the excellent advice already given by @Calie above, so only have a couple of bits to add.

Just to add in regards to lube, I would recommend applying to both yourself and the toy. And don’t be afraid to reapply during - if I have a new/bigger toy then I will ease in, take out, apply more lube, go again. I would also suggest using fingers internally as a warm up, rather than going straight to the toy (along with external stimulation).

If you continue to experience pain during penetration, then definitely have a check up with a health professional to be safe :blush:

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I don’t have anything to add to what @Calie and @SexInTheCity said but welcome to the forum

Just a thought. If there’s no medical issue many anal toys are a lot slimmer, do you ladies think something like the Rocks Off Teazer Petite Sensations Beginner’s Vibrating Butt Plug could be any use? The bullet vibrator comes out if it isn’t.

Hi @thisislilianapacheco welcome to the forum! There’s not much I can add to the brilliant advice already given but just wanted to say that I have experienced the same sort of thing and am just starting to get the hang of it!

You say that you are not a virgin, do you mind me asking if you found penetration painful / difficult with your partner? If so it might be worth speaking to a doctor - it is unlikely to be anything medically wrong but your doctor should be able to give you some advice anyway, you shouldn’t have to live with pain during sex.

I was told that I have (/had - since the situation is now a lot better) vaginismus - involuntary tightening of the muscles which was then making penetration either painful or impossible. I have been speaking to a sex therapist (psychosexual counsellor as they prefer to be called!) who helped me to overcome the problem. Mine was caused by a combination of anxiety and lack of arousal.

As @Calie said, don’t rush things. If you can’t insert the toys, don’t push yourself to do it when you’re not ready, just enjoy the feelings of the toys externally first, whatever feels good to you. You could try getting a smaller toy to try before moving on to the ones you have. I just got this one:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=38711
It does say that its for anal sex but as @Serpentwand said, there is no reason not to use anal toys for vaginal sex. This one is really soft and slim and very reasonably priced too.

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Would definitely agree that some anal toys tend to be thinner so worth having a look at. I’d say that that particular toy is probably too small. If that one is the biggest someone can take comfortably then it is probably worth a medical check up.

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Not sure i can add much. Lube, start smaller. Reactions / allergy?

My wife has something similar to this. Loves it. Works every time. Not too big (quite small compared to a lot).

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=36310