My first bf (first lover too) mentioned that he’d like to have his hands tied. We were each others firsts and after initially tying his hands with a cord, we experimented quite a lot with me naturally taking well to the domme role. Unfortunately his behaviour became more abusive, and I then liked the domme role even more as it gave me some control over our sex life and what I would allow to happen, as it was the only time he permitted me control. I always wanted to try being sub, but I never trusted to allow him to tie me up etc out of fear of what would happen.
Once I left him, and got with my next bf, all kink went out the window. I think a mix of him being quite vanilla, and also fear of making me feel like I was back with the first. Lovers after that were only short term so very vanilla.
With hubby, vanilla at first, then progressed to me taking up domme again after chatting about likes and dislikes. And recently we have become a lot more open about trying different kinks, and I now feel safe enough to explore my sub side, which is going wonderfully well. As much as I like being in control, being sub definitely turns me on, and hubby is good at it!
But as much as developing together and talking about it can help, it took hubby’s phone pairing to the car and saying the name of the last played video to find out he likes squirting!