Quick question and guidance. As part of a couple, would you slowly build up to a night of action but little teases and touches through the day or do you just wait until it’s time to get down to it?
My OH said that I always pick the wrong times and she can’t turn it on like a switch like it do, I always give her little kisses and touches and the odd play with I’m walking past or we get a spare moment. But she sometimes gets annoyed as we can’t follow it up. Now is that my fault for not being able to read her or tell when the time is right.
@Curious_Couple_19 sometimes we both like a long tease over the course of the day. Whispering in the ear, having a sneaky feel and even flirty texts. We both can just turn it on too spur of the moment so quite lucky I guess. Just need to figure out what she expects as the norm
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The norm is normally just waiting for her to do or say something, but when you get a urge, what’s wrong with just doing it?
For us it starts much earlier, looking after each other during the day or the odd pinch of the bum…etc. During the evening it can move more into foreplay.
So start with the psychological first then the physical turn ons. Think flowers during the day as the first turn on 
Think this kind of thing is very unique to each couple, the chemistry and each individual.
For me and OH, we have one thing that is different between us. I am a planner, she is spontaneous. For kink nights she lets me plan and looks forward to the surprises, and that works great for us (she’s submissive and I thrive on giving pleasure!).
Before the real fun begins, we like a nice build up. I’ll tease her a little with suggestions and hints without giving her too much of what she has to look forward to. We don’t live together so it is through message or calls. If we are together during day it’s normally more of a romantic build up, cuddles, holding hands, kisses, sexy touches here and there, suggestions of what we might get up to. Sometimes we’ll just start early if we can. Really depends on the day, who’s around and how we feel.
We don’t have issues around build up, I guess we just have a good read on each other and go with the flow. There’s obv times when things come up for each of us and things change, but we’re OK with that and know it won’t be long before we have chance to make up for it. We’ll have times where we both intentionally get each other going knowing we cannot follow it up and leave each other on edge, for us it adds to the fun.
I think us males are more able to hit a switch and be in the mood far easier than ladies (as a general rather than rule). End of your post sounds like you might be falling into the trap of trying to understand the female mind. Don’t go there mate, its the whole venus and mars thing!
I found the best thing is taking a step back, be myself and not try to second guess the OH.
If she needs a little tease, she finds a way to get that across. If she’s not in mood, again, she’ll show me somehow. We don’t take it personally if either are not in mood.
Do the nice things, be romantic, hold hands, buy flowers, and don’t expect anything in return.
If you have expectations, it’s for the wrong reason.
Ladies pick up on those things, it’s like a sixth sense they have IMO.
I’m lucky where just being myself with someone very special to me seems to just work, and it helps that I enjoy doing all the romantic and sexy bits for her. We talk a lot too, and that helps massively.
Like @forwardghoul52 I am one lucky SOB too.
Sorry for long winded answer, hope you both manage to work your way through it!
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During the week hubby’s at work so I’ll send him dirty text’s, or pictures and he’ll do the same. When he gets in from work I’ll put the shower on for him, then he’ll pull me in the shower with him, he’ll kiss me passionately while running his hands over me, then I’ll give him oral then we’ll have sex.
On the weekends through out the day he’ll whisper dirty talk to me, grab or spank my bum as he goes past, or I’ll grab his penis and I’ll whisper what I’ll do it, then he’ll go hard. Then I’ll tease him by just giving it a few licks, this will go on until we can’t contain ourselves any longer
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