Hi
Me and my OH have been together for 13 years and whilst I love giving BJs, I have never got oral back. He says he hates it and putting his tongue out that far makes him feel sick. Any suggestions or am I fighting a lost cause here?
Thanks
I would say stop giving head until he reciprocates. I was in the opposite situation with my wife, I was the one going down. I didn't expect anything in return but it got a little frustrating.
In the end I just came out and asked for it and it turned out she was unsure what to do. After some encouragement and telling her what I liked I now get the occasional blow job.
When he's going down on you be vocal in your encouragement, guys respond to that.
So sticking his tongue out makes him feel sick? Did I read that right? Sorry I'm not sure if I'm catching that correctly. If so, he doesn't really need to stick his tongue out for oral, just as much as he would really to lick an ice cream or something :) it might help to get a flavoured lube for him to lick off you? Definitely makes oral more fun! Xx
I agree. I'd use a Flavoured lube as they make giving oral sex more enjoyable.
Also what about suggesting a 69? I personally don't like them at all but it could definitely give him an incentive :) x
i've never used them but dental dams could be be an option if he doesn't entertain the though of licking you with his bare tounge they're a sort of flavoured oral single use rectangular sheet condom LH sells Pasante ones http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=10404 which are currently sold out
I'm the opposite I give my oh loads of oral. (we both love it) but oh does not like giving me it. We've tried but none of us are that fussed for it. But the main thing is were both happy about it tho
I love giving oral to Mrs B but don't expect to recive any from her. She has tried 2/3 times but she is not to comfortable giving. If she doesn't want to that's fine, as long as she enjoys reciving I'm happy with that.
Mr B.
MissChar wrote:
So sticking his tongue out makes him feel sick? Did I read that right? Sorry I'm not sure if I'm catching that correctly.
Im the same tbh, if i stick my tounge out for too long i feel like im gona be sick, and stuff touching my tounge makes me gag :(
This always makes me sad reading a thread like this. Because going down on a woman is one of the nicest, closest and most erotic sexual things you can ever experience.
And yes ladies, you do taste good. In fact really fine.
I understand all men (or women for that matter) are different, but trust me for every 1 man that doesn't like to go down on a lady - there are 300 that do.
As for fighting a lost cause... you have been together for 13 years.... you must know him better than anyone?
Good luck hunny x
I think if I were in your situation I would expect him to at least try. If he says that sticking his tongue out too far makes him feel sick then tell him to do what he can comfortably. Flavoured lubes or dental dams may help him. You could also always invest in one of these
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24042
if he really won't budge on the matter. Good luck hun x
Ork wrote:
In my oppinion, a sex act should not be performed with the expectation having it done to you, oral is a common issue with people, for me personally I despise giving it to women XD I've had them try to force the matter, even one go kind of crazy on me lol, its like trying to force anal or whatever, they don't like/want to do it, just leave it at that.
I would suggest trying flavoured lubes or whatever, but you really can not push it, or it will start effecting other areas of the relationship, sex is not everything in a relationship, but is a big part of it whether people admit it or not, the issue is he would be unhappy performing oral on you, but you are unhappy not getting it... it is worth disscussing it with him in a calm way and trying different things, but forcing the issue will likely cause more issues.
+1!!!!
If he is genuine about it making him feel sick when he puts his tongue in then you can't really blame him for not wanting to. If you giving him oral made you gag or feel sick when it was in your mouth then you would hope he would understand. I can see your point of view about giving but never getting but talking about it and trying a few techniques might help. As ppl have already said, flavoured lubes are a good idea but also he does not need to put his tongue right inside you, he can kiss, lick, suck gentley on the clitoris (sorry if too graphic). I am addicted to give my oh some tongue love and i very rarely get a bj but i really dont mind, giving her some love down there really turns me on and over the years you get to know what moves to do but it takes time. Maybe if he went down on you and used his fingers to go inside you or used a dildo while he was slowing starting to get into his comfort zone just on the clitoris maybe he could eventually work his way down but you might not want him to as spending time on the clitoris with his tongue should feel amazing to you. Hope you get some soon.
Well im in a situation the exact opposite. I love going down on my wife but she never really tries to do the same for me. As i have been told on here you cant force the issue, and it shouldnt be. Its just frustruting. I would only do it for him if u want too, If u enjoy it as part of ur lovemaking then carry on. If not then stop. I have total sympathy with you.
I hope you get it sorted and good luck
my ex never once went down on me in our three year relationship hens why he became an ex...
I can't stop my new bf from doing it he loves to pleasure me and i him 69 are defo a good idea...
If oral is something you want off your partner then express this to him he can at least try it once before saying he doesn't like it.
Maybe he thinks he wouldn't be any good at it. Probably never done it before. Maybe a little nervous. Encouragement will help, tell him what to do. A little training goes a long way.
I would not stress too much about it. Think laterally: there are a great many kinks out there for you to try. Chances are there thing you would much rather try if you let your mind roam free on the topic and perhaps you can use his reluctance in this area as a lever to get him to try some of them.
In my case my wife does not give oral or receive anal ("your just far too big dear..." - women can be such clever liars when they need). However, we have tried lots of other things (latex, leather, chastity, pegging, etc, etc) so I am non too fussed about the things we don't do.
For me it's the other way round I love giving but hate receiving my gf love's 2 give but I never let her as for ur problem i think u should try licking stuff of each other eg cream or chocolate sauce if he can lick that of u he is perfectly capable of giving u oral do this a few Times try not 2 push him just a few word's of encouragement and he might go there of his own free will
Thanks for the great advice everyone. I spoke to him about it in a non agressive way and he said that he really just doesn't like doing it so far enough i guess. Hey i've gone this far without it and he does plenty more things that i find VERY enjoyable! We all have to give and take don't we :-)
there is a toy that simulates oral on your clit (4fot wat it is lol) get him to get u that :P then both soet of win. worth ago dont u think :) x