I have always had a open talk about sex with my daughter but one thing I have never done is a talk about porn not being like that in real life relationships, What has made me think is watching the channel 4 program mums do porn.
It seems alot of our children think what we see as hardcore porn is something normal you do in a relationship.
I have always said if you dont like or want to do something you don't need to do it, she is in a relationship and is 18 but I don't think its turned into a sexual relationship yet, but I am concerned with the guy she is with being older he might have a different attitude to my daughter if/when they do have sex.
Tonight I'm going to have a talk about porn with my daughter.
Think that’s a great idea and maybe see if your daughter will watch that show too with you on channel4. If/when I have kids I’d certainly want to be open with them and talk about this sort of thing as in a way the porn industry does create a sense of pressure in a sexual relationship to be just like what you see and if unable achieve that kind of high expectation it can cause low esteem. I also think it’s a good idea to every so often see some behind the scenes stuff on a porn filming as you’ll then get a more realistic view on how they’re made and that it isn’t just turn the camera on and roll...
Don't think she would want to watch it with us but I'm going to suggest watching it herself, So true about what goes on behind the scenes, lots of cuts edits.
I recently watched a series called "porn laid bare" was very much about the behind the scenes and hidden side of the industry. Worth a look teacake. Very responsible parenting by the way.
I think it's a good idea but there would have to be an opening for me to have that discussion. Such as one of the kids saying something derogatory that you would hear in porn or catching (internet history) them watching it. It does have a negative affect on younger minds and their view of how sex should look/be and gives them unrealistic ideas and expectations.
I recently watched a series called "porn laid bare" was very much about the behind the scenes and hidden side of the industry. Worth a look teacake. Very responsible parenting by the way.
Thanks I will have a look at porn laid baire, I don't know if im that responsible lol
It never occurred to me that alot of youngsters now think the porn we have is what you do in a relationship, back in my day it was mags and soft porn videos that every saw. I never thought it was what happens in a relationship.
@K&c It's always good to have that connection with your children and depending on how open you are then bringing up the subject has to be done in certain ways to get their attention without them yawning.
My daughter has always been the one who has asked questions when she came home from school from a day of sex education. Certain things I had to say I can't answer that until you are a bit older.
Well the talk happened at first my daughter got a bit embarrassed when I said the topic is porn lol I just said there is nothing to be embarrassed about we have had these kind of talks before, I started off about the new age law, and it flowed after that seems she is not having a sexual relationship with her boyfriend yet, and she thinks porn is disgusting only by going by what she saw some lads watching, Sounds like it was hard hard porn, Thats the same attitude as she had 3 years ago, So nothing has changed.
She doesn't even like the thought of cum going inside a woman, let alone BJs or handjobs, But I just said as you get older and decide to have a sexual relationship your feelings will/might change, and I'm having this discussion now so I don't have to keep sitting you down.
Her views on porn is very straight it's not nice and sick, my views have now changed to this age restriction, I was brought up on the old skool porn which now you would class as soft porn, alot of girls liked it just as us guys, but then you had the Lovers Guide does anyone remember this? Ok it's not porn but it was used in that kind of way but it also teached me and others what goes on in relationships and went on about Consent but in a nice teaching way, I feel if my daughter had watched this her views would be different.
I said to my daughter just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's wrong for others to like it, then she told me she used her boyfriends phone and saw their was lesbian porn on there, he went quite and she said you can stop looking at that now lol, I did try to explain if he likes watching it it's ok, as long as he knows it's not what a relationship is about.
I think I did well she didn't want to get up and run away lol she didn't know about this new age restriction and was interested in that.
For anyone who's interested, there's a really great Instagram and Podcast called 'Sex Positive Families' which covers all things to do with talking to young people about sex openly.
Thats great Jess I think in our case being young parents helps with being open, I also find that sex subjects talks with friends at school happens at alot early than when I was at that age, most likely to do with the internet.