I'm new here and new to the world of toys. Been dating a girl for some months; I'm first guy she has been with and she has never had an orgasm before. We're just getting started but there's a long way to go and we're pretty much open to anything.
I got us the Jessica Rabit 2.0, hoping that it will help her achieve her first orgasm. Not sure if we're using it right but it's not worked so far. Clitoral stimulation doesn't seem to do it for her. I'm wondering if g-spot stimulation is the only thing for her. Needless to say, I'd be delighted if I could get her to g-spot orgasm/squirting. That would be such a high! Anyway, I'm ready to do baby steps to begin with.
Advice, suggestions, comments are invited. Especially, if there are women who were in a similar situation sometime. Maybe some of you could also give tips on how to properly use the Jessica Rabbit 2.0.
Jessica Rabbit 2.0 could be a bit much if it's your first toy. It's a fantastic vibrator, but all those buttons and swirly bits might be a bit distracting.
I had a sneaky feeling the Rabbit 2.0 can't be that bad, going by all the reviews. I read almost all reviews for about 6-8 rabbit vibrators before I decided on buying that one. We'll keep it for later.
Difficult one this as different strokes for different folks! Just going by my orgasms the quickest and easiest orgasm for me (and guaranteed) is g spot and clitoral stimulation. I find one feeds the other. So something stimulating inside the pussy (pressing up a bit for me) and tongue flicking across clit starting really gently and building pressure. LUSH!!!!! Dont forget with the clit that the hood is just the tip and it extends down the pussy lips so a bit of a massage all around really will help the blood to get where it's needed.
Play more. Just keep playing and it'll happen! I suggest just using the rabbit on her clit, maybe while you finger her as well occassionally. And lots and lots of oral sex, I think this helps most women orgasm (if they enjoy it and want it). How does she get herself off? Like if she hasn't orgasmed through her own fingers yet, she needs to learn! I think we all get into a bad habit of thinking someone else can get us off when we need to elarn how to get ourselves off. (That's not critical BTW, just saying!!)
I think if you play more, asking each other what you both want and like that will help. But a word of warning, sometimes you can overdo it!
Orgasm is as much a mental trigger as anything physical. I think women (myself included) can hold back on getting turned on. I can rant for hours on the reasons but playing more and finding out what you both like while you're both up for it will help. Maybe the odd book or film can help, but don't spend a fortune just yet! Maybe make use of the internet and see what does it for her. Encourage her to play alone as well.
.... How does she get herself off? Like if she hasn't orgasmed through her own fingers yet, she needs to learn! ....
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Orgasm is as much a mental trigger as anything physical. I think women (myself included) can hold back on getting turned on.
These have been my thoughts too. She's never done it herself ever and as I mentioned, it is her first time with me. I'm trying my bit encouraging her on the DIY front as well as to help her let it go and not hold back with getting turned on. I should also mention that we don't have much to complain when it comes to the actual sex - I don't much to complain; she never says anything like that either. We enjoy the sex. But I think I can do a lot more.
Thanks very much imeldaimelda and Horny Pony! Will definitely let you know how I get on.
At the moment, she's away for another month. I'm just making use of the time to 'equip' myself to make her happy. We're also dying to get our hands on each other again after a few weeks apart.
If you have advice on toys, please do tell. I got a Jessica Rabbit 2.0 earlier. But as Richard said, it may be too much to start with. So I'm thinking of getting some other 'starter' stuff. So far I have my eyes on the following:
From my personal experience I have only ever been with 1 girl who i couldnt make orgasm, and to be honest with you I think the major factor was her own paranoia with everything. Lights always had to be off and she hated me tasting her. Because she was so concerned about everything, everything mattered apart from what we were supposed to be doing!
Maybe the problem isn't with the technique or the toys, but her mindset. Unless she's totally comfortable, relaxed and at ease...you could be in for a tough and frustrating time....doesnt mean you should stop trying though!
Good luck with it though...this is just a different angle at your problem, maybe the naughty ladies on this forum can agree / disagree with what i'm saying!
Honestly, chill out with the toys a little. You need to get her hot in the head, not just in the body. PHONE SEX !! or cyber sex if she's away are both good things to broach and see if she will. Both will get her to touch herself and play around to see what does it for here. (Sometime IM might be less scary than full on phone sex) Good luck!
But I do have to add that we're all fairly impressed with a guy on here so happy to buy toys for his OH aren't we?!
Very very very impressed. Good for you for wanting to pleasure your lady, we need more like you!
Imelda's totally right though, if she's having trouble climaxing odds are it's not due to lack of skill or technique, it's a mental thing. Go really slowly with no pressure - don't set out like "Tonight I am going to make you cum" because it's far too much pressure on her. I know from my own ex trying to make me squirt, the nights he was determined to do it were the mights it never happened! Just go with the flow, try focusing on her clit and lavishing lots of oral attention on it (as many women find it easiest to come this way) and see what happens. Orgasm shouldn't be the goal, sex is about the journey.
Thanks shellyboo! I think I may have been cranking up the pressure on her - sometimes by saying and sometimes without. Guilty as charged!
I'll go with the flow and give it time and effort. You're right about sex is the journey - we enjoy sex and she has never once complained, but kinda made me feel worse at times because orgasm for me isn't really rocket science whereas for women, it's like a complexity problem, so we me have to be careful and diligent! I'll get there, in due time!
Thanks shellyboo! I think I may have been cranking up the pressure on her - sometimes by saying and sometimes without. Guilty as charged! External Media
I'll go with the flow and give it time and effort. You're right about sex is the journey - we enjoy sex and she has never once complained, but kinda made me feel worse at times because orgasm for me isn't really rocket science whereas for women, it's like a complexity problem, so we me have to be careful and diligent! I'll get there, in due time! External Media
Quick one... how old is your good lady? Because some women don't actually start orgasming with a partner until they hit 20 or so... I know I was having sex for a good while before I was able to cum with a guy.
She is 21 but she started having sex only three months or so ago. Does this matter? And she has never masturbated before, although I am encouraging every bit now!
The fact that she's not really played with herself before will be the biggets thing. She won't necessarily know what she wants etc. Now I'm sure she will change that asap! But how can you expect someone else to give you an orgasm if you can't do it yourself? She'll be fine though - enjoy!
The fact that she's not really played with herself before will be the biggets thing. She won't necessarily know what she wants etc. Now I'm sure she will change that asap! But how can you expect someone else to give you an orgasm if you can't do it yourself? She'll be fine though - enjoy!
Thats so true imelda also as others have said its in the mind being comfy with the whole sensual sexual erotic feelings an orgasm starts in the mind .
So any young woman who would like to be orgasmic you should look to yourself first, She has never played with herself before and she is 21 ! thats a worry everyone has their own levels of libido and it looks like she may have a low one or she is telling a few porkys.
Even a low sex drive can be raised but it does all start in her mind and being happy with her body and feeling able to express her sexuality .
With the mrs when she was 16 what made the difference was the mind thing I told her that there is a path to orgasm this helpted her be be alot less stressed about her first o and not feeling stressed she had her fist o , its such a simple thing but it worked for her by the way she could not stop playing with herself for several years after making up for lost time I think .
And now with kids and a busy life she only plays with herself when we are together however those early years have left her a very multi orgasmic woman, as much as we love toys I dont think that a toy should be your first option try a finger or tongue first after all how do you follow a buzzing sex toy .
