Hi all!
Im new here and could do with some advice. Im 19 and i am in my 2nd sexual relationship. My boyfriend is in the Army so we dont see each other very often.
However when we do see one another and decided to have sex its hard for us to do so. This is due to the fact that my partner say's im very tight and i find it painful.
Is there anything anyone can suggest that may help?
Thank you!
Take your time with foreplay and lots of lubricant. And remember to relax. :) My husband and I dated from long distance (US to Scotland) and it can be tough. Enjoy the time you have together.
It's understandable if you're finding it difficult to have penetration if you're going a long time inbetween experiences. This could be especially true if your partner's penis is on the larger side.
Totally agree about relaxing, taking time for foreplay and using lube. This could include oral or using fingers or a smaller toy.
Ultimately, barring a chronic issue, your body adapt with practice and time. Maybe experiment with penetration outside of sex with your partner if you don't already? Again, this could mean fingers or a (safe) toy.
Thank you!
I will make sure that we try this the next time he is home again. The distance is really hard on both of us, so we feel its important that we have this physical connection.
Thank you again for the advice :)
If you had similar problems in your first relationship I would suggest a chat with a GP, doesn't have to be your own if another member of the practice is easier to talk to. Just to rule out any physical issues
I would imagine that given the the time you get to spend together is very short you both feel a bit under pressure to perform. The advice about taking lots of time to warm up first and use lots of lube is good. Just make sure that if you are using condoms it is a condom friendly water based one
xGGx
I never had this problem in my first relationship due to the fact that we were physical on a regular basis but thank you.
Your right i think we both feel really under pressure to preform and it makes it feel a little bit awkward to begin with.
Thank you everyone for your advice, its all been helpful and made me feel a little more relaxed about the situation. Xx
I would second the suggestion about engaging in penetrative solo play in between visits, just to keep everything down there familiar with the stretching and clenching of intercourse. If you're worried that your boyfriend might be a little put out by this, you can always involve him in it too. Send each other erotic texts and then describe what you're doing to yourself, encourage him to masturbate too and describe what he is doing too. Or you could play whilst on the phone to him.
Also try not to get too hung up on the idea of "we only have a week together, we have to have as much sex as possible!" If you're putting stress on yourself it will make it more difficult to "perform" and you won't enjoy it as much.
All great advice. It's all normal try to stop getting worried about it, this will only make it worse. Talk to your OH and spend a lot more time on foreplay and if at all possible have an orgasm before you penatrive sex. Relax and enjoy.
I had the exact same problem, untill we invested in some lube and did more foreplay to help relax hope it goes well when you next see him x
All have given great advice.
But to help things along why not get the make your own dildo, Which will be of his erect penis for you to play with while he is away.
Best of both worlds for the two of you.
First off- I'm also doing the long distance thing and I know it sucks. But I agree - you really need to try and relax and not put pressure on yourselves when you are together.
In the meantime, maybe a dildo or vibrator (and plenty of lube) could help you get used to penetration. Me and my guy are really into the filthy emails, which are always good for inspiration!
Relaxation and lots of lube.And maybe get a dildo to play with while he's away (girthier than his member) and play with it alone.